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Thread: NF love?

  1. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by ferrisbueller View Post
    I do think that you're describing ENF's here rather than INF's. The INFJ's and INFP's I know are very careful about who they love romantically but when they do get involved they do so very deeply.
    I hate to say it, but I have a very dear male INFJ friend who flits from relationship to relationship as well as date to date....in search of the perfect woman. You would think at his age he could figure out that none of us is perfect, but his search continues.

  2. #22
    RETIRED CzeCze's Avatar
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    That reminds me of a failed relationship story I heard. He was 40 something and he backed out of relationship with a guy who really cared for him because, according to him, there was "no magic". My INTP friend said, why they fug is he talking about MAGIC, how old is he? But, I guess some people are die hard idealist romantics.

    I agree with the immaturity comments. Part of immaturity is not knowing yourself. A lot of people cannot distinguish between loneliness and "lustiness" and a general desire to be accepted or feel needed.

    The closest thing to faking it I have gotten is entering in a relationship and developing feelings for someone I knew I should do neither with and that I initially didn't feel anything for. She was BAD NEWS and my first instinct was that she would hurt me immensely. And I was correct. What's the point of being intuitive if you dont' act accordingly?

    Also, my personal concept of 'love' et. al. is very NFP I think. I'm not really into the traditional idea of love in the classic romantic sense. In theory I believe love is hard to define and pin down and shouldn't be hoarded to be doled out like war-time rations.

    At the risk of sounding cheesy, I think love is universal and at your best you should tap into it and be be a living conduit. It's very possible to have beautiful, meaningful moments and connections with people that defy traditional descriptions and I think the more you allow yourself to feel it, receive it, and give it the greater the momentum. The more you give, the more you get and it has a cascading effect.

    At the risk of sounding like a total frickin hippie, love is a revolutionary act.

  3. #23
    Furry Critter with Claws Kiddo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by armstrongvk12 View Post
    I hate to say it, but I have a very dear male INFJ friend who flits from relationship to relationship as well as date to date....in search of the perfect woman. You would think at his age he could figure out that none of us is perfect, but his search continues.
    Are you certain he is an INFJ? That just so doesn't sound like me one bit.
    Quote Originally Posted by Silently Honest View Post
    OMNi: Wisdom at the cost of Sanity.

  4. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kiddo View Post
    Are you certain he is an INFJ? That just so doesn't sound like me one bit.
    Looking for perfection does sound INFJ.

  5. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by heart View Post
    Looking for perfection does sound INFJ.
    It isn't the searching for perfection that throws me off, it's the slipping from relationship to relationship. I could never do that. I tried one pragmatic relationship and it was a disaster. Dating is one thing, but actually becoming involved with person after person goes completely against the INFJ grain.
    Quote Originally Posted by Silently Honest View Post
    OMNi: Wisdom at the cost of Sanity.

  6. #26
    Senior Member Lateralus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CzeCze View Post
    I agree with the immaturity comments. Part of immaturity is not knowing yourself.
    I know that in my case it was definitely immaturity.

    I actually need to revise something from my previous post. I was in a bad relationship about a year ago that I tried to work out, even though I wasn't in love with her. That was the first (and hopefully only) time I tried to do that. She ended up cheating on me and I didn't even care, it was actually a relief because then I had my out.

  7. #27
    ish red no longer *sad* nightning's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kiddo View Post
    It isn't the searching for perfection that throws me off, it's the slipping from relationship to relationship. I could never do that. I tried one pragmatic relationship and it was a disaster. Dating is one thing, but actually becoming involved with person after person goes completely against the INFJ grain.
    And that is the crux of the matter. It depends on how you define a relationship. I am also guilty of "trying" without letting myself go. I suppose you can call that slipping in and out of "relationships". It's precisely because I care too much about "true love" (whatever that maybe) that I haven't seriously been involved with anybody yet.

  8. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kiddo View Post
    Are you certain he is an INFJ? That just so doesn't sound like me one bit.
    I am certain that he is an INFJ as he took the test. One of the descriptions that I read of INFJ basically described them as looking for perfection...so I think in that regard...he files through women....and makes mental notes as to the reasons why "it wouldn't work." Sometimes...I just want to smack him...even though....I do love him. :steam:

  9. #29
    will make your day Carebear's Avatar
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    Does he truly enter the relationships before leaving them, though?

    (I'm not talking hanky panky, I'm talking emotional commitment.)
    I have arms for a fucking reaosn, so come hold me. Then we'll fuvk! Whoooooh! - GZA

  10. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by Carebear View Post
    Does he truly enter the relationships before leaving them, though?(I'm not talking hanky panky, I'm talking emotional commitment.)
    I'm not totally sure. He did tell me that he constantly looks for perfection....and he typically has a TON of "one date" wonders. I know he has had some short term relationships too, and he has been married previously.

    The times that he has revealed secrets to me....he will typically distance himself from me. So...I respond in kind.....by letting him go away. I feel that confronting him will drive him away from me. Every once in awhile I can confront him with an issue, but I can't do it directly. I have to basically reveal different layers of an issue to him...until he figures it out. At this point, I would say that we have some sort of partial emotional commitment. But he always seems to come back to me...because I am technically only a friend. Does that count?

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