[INFP] Do INFPs have an incessant need to please others?

[MyCupOfTea]

Pleasing? INFP?

I want to be kind and try not to step on anyone's toes but my motivation is not to please others. It's more like "live and let live" attitude, as long as others respect me the same. Hmmm. Maybe that outwardly looks like pleasing but there's a significant difference.

 

[Starrynight5]

I'll echo others like MyCupofTea. I don't live to please others. I may try to do so to a point but only if it fits with my schedule, my values, and my tolerance of others.

 

[nekozuki]

I think when I was younger I used to try to please everyone. I've gotten cynical in my old age. I like people to approve of me, but I don't go out of my way to please others. /shrug I guess I have learned over the years that pleasing everyone is impossible, so I try to focus on myself more now while still maintaining harmony with others as much as possible.

 

[misfortuneteller]

Dude no. That's pretty much every other NF type but INFP.

 

[fetus]

I've always struggled more with getting out of my own head and focusing on others rather than obsessing over my own thoughts, dreams, and woes. However, a great part of me just wants to be loved and accepted. The thought of being on someone's bad side makes me really uncomfortable. If I people-please, it's to avoid the conflict that comes with contempt. I just want to love people and be kind to them. I'm not going to change myself in order to change the world--we change the world by being ourselves and developing our inner strengths.

I also have the 3 wing need to be admired and valuable, and the social dominant instinct that makes me aware of how I'm affecting others, group dynamics, etc. Those two combined can make me seem like more of a people-pleaser or even a Fe type.

As an aside, I think that when many people imagine type 4, they're thinking of the 4w5 sx. A 3 wing and social instinct adds a softer and more open flair to the 4.