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[ENFJ] How to spot an ENFJ a mile off

LostInNerSpace

New member
Joined
Jan 25, 2008
Messages
1,027
MBTI Type
INTP
I'm an INTP looking for love. Not simulated love protocol control packets beamed through subspace to a humanoid women, real woman, read love.

It seems a good many INTPs endup with ENFJs. So I would just like to know how to spot an ENFJ. What are the charateristics of an ENFJ in public? How would an ENFJ personals ad typically read? Where do ENFJs like to hang out? How might one break the ice with an ENFJ?

My interest is in ENFJ women, but I'm sure there are female INTPs knocking around who would not mind hearing it about ENFJ men.
 

miss fortune

not to be trusted
Joined
Oct 4, 2007
Messages
20,589
Enneagram
827
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
the charisma will hit you from 2 miles away- so don't bother with trying to SPOT one per se- just try for the FEEL of one :dry:
 

miss fortune

not to be trusted
Joined
Oct 4, 2007
Messages
20,589
Enneagram
827
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
:wubbie: I couldn't leave if I wanted to my dear leader! :heart:
 

proteanmix

Plumage and Moult
Joined
Apr 23, 2007
Messages
5,514
Enneagram
1w2
ENFJs tend to be pretty blendable. Unless you're looking for a Jesus Christ Superstar ENFJ that's shining and glistening everywhere I don't think you'd immediately recognize one.

When I read threads like MBTI superlatives and which type is more likely to do whatever, I notice a lack of ENFJ descriptors. I'm guessing that one of the reasons this must be is because people simply don't know how to recognize an average ENFJ. I suspect two women at my job are ENFJs and half the reason why I'm leaning towards ENFJ is because they are so absolutely blendable. I'm not getting a firm read which also contributes to my suspicion. I don't work closely with them enough to know for sure. I know they're EFJs but they don't feel ESFJ to me so that leaves me with ENFJ. No they're not leading a crusade or canvassing for members for their newly formed religious cult. Speaking for myself, I can't stress how much I tend to blend into the groups I'm with. I think I've written about this before, but I'll repeat it again. It's not a conforming blend, it's more a camouflage blend that's more versatile than an ESFJ blend.

Another way to spot an ENFJ is to get a group together and see who rises to the top. I'm the leader of a film group and I know I'm on my A-game when I'm with my members. An ESFJ and ENFJ would start organizing the people fairly quickly, but I don't think an ESFJ would be as comfortable in a prime leadership position as an ENFJ. I unfortunately think I should always be in charge of groups because it's my rightful place in the universe and I'm SOOO magnanimous.

Miscellaneous ENFJ stuff: random sexual innuendos that are quickly backed out of, moments of hubris and megalomania, lots of unnecessary verbalization of circular thought processes (but don't you dare mock one for this!), eruptions of strange noises, flailing limbs, invasive questions, occasional belligerence followed by a spate of apologies, dramatics and/or theatrics for your viewing pleasure (Are You Not Entertained?), and some other stuff I can't think of right now.

And for Chrissakes: DO NOT EVER TELL AN ENFJ TO CALM DOWN!! I've rent people asunder over this.

P.S. Lots of exaggeration and hyperbole. :)

And yeah, this mostly pertains to me. I'll let other ENFJs do what they do and speak for themselves.
 

SolitaryPenguin

Active member
Joined
Dec 20, 2007
Messages
824
MBTI Type
ISFP
Enneagram
9w1
a Jesus Christ Superstar ENFJ

This made me lose half a beer out my left nostril, which I am sure is blessing hidden in a curse. So thank you.
 

proteanmix

Plumage and Moult
Joined
Apr 23, 2007
Messages
5,514
Enneagram
1w2
ENFJs tend to be pretty blendable. Unless you're looking for a Jesus Christ Superstar ENFJ that's shining and glistening everywhere I don't think you'd immediately recognize one.

When I read threads like MBTI superlatives and which type is more likely to do whatever, I notice a lack of ENFJ descriptors. I'm guessing that one of the reasons this must be is because people simply don't know how to recognize an average ENFJ. I suspect two women at my job are ENFJs and half the reason why I'm leaning towards ENFJ is because they are so absolutely blendable. I'm not getting a firm read which also contributes to my suspicion. I don't work closely with them enough to know for sure. I know they're EFJs but they don't feel ESFJ to me so that leaves me with ENFJ. No they're not leading a crusade or canvassing for members for their newly formed religious cult. Speaking for myself, I can't stress how much I tend to blend into the groups I'm with. I think I've written about this before, but I'll repeat it again. It's not a conforming blend, it's more a camouflage blend that's more versatile than an ESFJ blend.

Another way to spot an ENFJ is to get a group together and see who rises to the top. I'm the leader of a film group and I know I'm on my A-game when I'm with my members. An ESFJ and ENFJ would start organizing the people fairly quickly, but I don't think an ESFJ would be as comfortable in a prime leadership position as an ENFJ. I unfortunately think I should always be in charge of groups because it's my rightful place in the universe and I'm SOOO magnanimous.

Miscellaneous ENFJ stuff: random sexual innuendos that are quickly backed out of, moments of hubris and megalomania, lots of unnecessary verbalization of circular thought processes (but don't you dare mock one for this!), eruptions of strange noises, flailing limbs, invasive questions, occasional belligerence followed by a spate of apologies, dramatics and/or theatrics for your viewing pleasure (Are You Not Entertained?), and some other stuff I can't think of right now.

And for Chrissakes: DO NOT EVER TELL AN ENFJ TO CALM DOWN!! I've rent people asunder over this.

P.S. Lots of exaggeration and hyperbole. :)

And yeah, this mostly pertains to me. I'll let other ENFJs do what they do and speak for themselves.

I've thought about this more and all of the crazy stuff I mentioned only applies to people that I'm friends with. When you first met me I'll be very friendly ask you non-invasive personal questions to get a better feel for you and be on my bestess behavior. All of the craziness shows if I think you can handle it.

When I first met people I like to leave an positive impression. I don't want anyone to meet me and if they see me again have a big question mark in their mind. I want you to be remembered for positive reasons like I made you laugh or some other good thing so that any future exchanges are mutually pleasant encounters. But I don't do blandly pleasant so it's hard to describe.
 

The_Liquid_Laser

Glowy Goopy Goodness
Joined
Jul 11, 2007
Messages
3,376
MBTI Type
ENTP
Another way to spot an ENFJ is to get a group together and see who rises to the top. I'm the leader of a film group and I know I'm on my A-game when I'm with my members. An ESFJ and ENFJ would start organizing the people fairly quickly, but I don't think an ESFJ would be as comfortable in a prime leadership position as an ENFJ. I unfortunately think I should always be in charge of groups because it's my rightful place in the universe and I'm SOOO magnanimous.

I believe that ENFJ has a "In Charge" Interaction Style, while the ESFJ has a "Get Things Going" style. So what you said seems to be a good way to differentiate the two.
 

wedekit

New member
Joined
Nov 10, 2007
Messages
694
MBTI Type
INFJ
Charisma - The ENFJs I know are normally "Ok, so we need to get this project done. You guys are AWESOME! LET'S DO IT!"

Creativity - For example, when it comes to making pretty signs for advertisements

Religious - I know this will definitely not be characteristic of all ENFJs, but the ones I know are very enthusiastic about their religion.
 

digesthisickness

✿ڿڰۣஇღ♥ wut ♥ღஇڿڰۣ✿
Joined
Apr 24, 2007
Messages
3,248
MBTI Type
ENTP
ENFJs tend to be pretty blendable. Unless you're looking for a Jesus Christ Superstar ENFJ that's shining and glistening everywhere I don't think you'd immediately recognize one.

When I read threads like MBTI superlatives and which type is more likely to do whatever, I notice a lack of ENFJ descriptors. I'm guessing that one of the reasons this must be is because people simply don't know how to recognize an average ENFJ. I suspect two women at my job are ENFJs and half the reason why I'm leaning towards ENFJ is because they are so absolutely blendable. I'm not getting a firm read which also contributes to my suspicion. I don't work closely with them enough to know for sure. I know they're EFJs but they don't feel ESFJ to me so that leaves me with ENFJ. No they're not leading a crusade or canvassing for members for their newly formed religious cult. Speaking for myself, I can't stress how much I tend to blend into the groups I'm with. I think I've written about this before, but I'll repeat it again. It's not a conforming blend, it's more a camouflage blend that's more versatile than an ESFJ blend.

Another way to spot an ENFJ is to get a group together and see who rises to the top. I'm the leader of a film group and I know I'm on my A-game when I'm with my members. An ESFJ and ENFJ would start organizing the people fairly quickly, but I don't think an ESFJ would be as comfortable in a prime leadership position as an ENFJ. I unfortunately think I should always be in charge of groups because it's my rightful place in the universe and I'm SOOO magnanimous.

Miscellaneous ENFJ stuff: random sexual innuendos that are quickly backed out of, moments of hubris and megalomania, lots of unnecessary verbalization of circular thought processes (but don't you dare mock one for this!), eruptions of strange noises, flailing limbs, invasive questions, occasional belligerence followed by a spate of apologies, dramatics and/or theatrics for your viewing pleasure (Are You Not Entertained?), and some other stuff I can't think of right now.

And for Chrissakes: DO NOT EVER TELL AN ENFJ TO CALM DOWN!! I've rent people asunder over this.

P.S. Lots of exaggeration and hyperbole. :)

And yeah, this mostly pertains to me. I'll let other ENFJs do what they do and speak for themselves.

i don't know if i've known any, but i swear, while reading this definition, the character that julia roberts played in "the mexican" jumped out at me.

am i off?
 

Athenian200

Protocol Droid
Joined
Jul 1, 2007
Messages
8,828
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
4w5
random sexual innuendos that are quickly backed out of, moments of hubris and megalomania, lots of unnecessary verbalization of circular thought processes (but don't you dare mock one for this!), eruptions of strange noises, flailing limbs, invasive questions, occasional belligerence followed by a spate of apologies, dramatics and/or theatrics for your viewing pleasure (Are You Not Entertained?), and some other stuff I can't think of right now.

I would have thought that kind of thing to be more SP-ish... People like that freak me out so much that I want to hide in the corner in a fetal position and cry. :shock:
 

proteanmix

Plumage and Moult
Joined
Apr 23, 2007
Messages
5,514
Enneagram
1w2
I would have thought that kind of thing to be more SP-ish... People like that freak me out so much that I want to hide in the corner in a fetal position and cry. :shock:

Maybe I really am an ESFP then.

But you do realize the NJ/SP connection don't you?
 

proteanmix

Plumage and Moult
Joined
Apr 23, 2007
Messages
5,514
Enneagram
1w2
If it's as strong as you're implying, I may have to reconsider whether I'm an SJ of some kind or not...

The random stuff I mentioned is just me and may not apply to other ENFJs. It's what I do when I feel comfortable with people. And I'm not of the school that we have an antagonistic relationship towards our tertiary and inferior functions so I'm probably more agreeable towards Se and Ti.
 

theshadow

New member
Joined
Sep 15, 2007
Messages
123
MBTI Type
enfj
lets see. protean spoke of circular thinking and uh..... sometimes I just end up talking about how I think of can be circular. other things that can be circular are ...

I am actually quite jelouse of the jesus superstar enfj's. but thats my thing, anyway..... if you just saw me I really doubt you would "just vibe" my type.unless...... I was being thrown into a new group.... at which point in time I cant help myself but to end up leading."cue unrealistic confidence and what I can only describe as prince like movements" however unlike protean "much of this is my own self image/confidence levels" I dont assume that I should be the one leading. in fact I am quite comfortable letting some one else do the leading.

begin edit
one thing I have realized I do quite a lot is tell stories. usually grounded in my experience but also not very realistic."dont you dare tell me that though" as far as I am concerened most girls I talk to are into me. most things I do are fun. I can also be rather dramatic. usually only to make my story more fun to listen to though. oh thats right! along with being dramatic "not really personally, more along the lines of expressive" my body language is usually very opinionated. so much so it can seem rather comical at times: which I then use to make things even more interesting
end edit.


I cant really say to much about enfj woman. "I said that and then went on and on for so long I decided to delete most of it" the ones I know have no problem sticking up for there friends or having verbal confrontations. I have never "to my knowledge" met a paticlurly chatty enfj. I do like to talk though. If I dont get enough interactions externally. I will actually introvert and produce them. its not uncommon to hear me spouting my opinions about things...... when I am in my room. alone :shock:

also if you just meet me you may get the emissary of magnanimosity vibe. but truth is despite the fact that I am an extravert's I am not as socially adept as for example my entp friend. I guess Ill have to mention that I belive the is because of how isolated I have been much of my life. so my only point is dont expect to see that glowing charisma... unless they are pushed into acting like there true type.

I dont really stick out under most circumstances. usually I am "tuned" to the people I am around.I tend to intuitively speak others language if you will, a fact that even I dont realize until I am around say an entp and suddenly begin emulating Ne "it just happens,". I also make sad attempts at Ne around enfp's but...... that usually leaves them with a wtf look on there face.

and!! after all that I dont think I said anything usefull for you...... well good luck enfj hunting. I suggest keeping a safe distance untill you have one in your scope. they can be pretty dangerious up close. haha
 

batumi

New member
Joined
Jan 31, 2008
Messages
177
MBTI Type
infj
Miscellaneous ENFJ stuff: random sexual innuendos that are quickly backed out of, moments of hubris and megalomania, lots of unnecessary verbalization of circular thought processes (but don't you dare mock one for this!), eruptions of strange noises, flailing limbs, invasive questions, occasional belligerence followed by a spate of apologies, dramatics and/or theatrics for your viewing pleasure (Are You Not Entertained?), and some other stuff I can't think of right now.

I loved this description, as someone who ended a longish serious relationship with an ENFJ last year and am now just beginning to date another.
At the end of the last relationship I recall telling him to stop being such a
drama queen.
 

Domino

ENFJ In Chains
Joined
Nov 5, 2007
Messages
11,429
MBTI Type
eNFJ
Enneagram
4w3
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
A male ENFJ friend of mine (Taco, for those who've read my blog) declared loudly and facetiously about how offended he was by talk about vibrators when he "was right here and generously available to all the ladies of the world". [Huge exclamation points and gesticulating and sarcastic smiles here.]

He's a mess. lol God love him.
 

The Third Rider

New member
Joined
Sep 12, 2007
Messages
763
MBTI Type
ENFj
I cant really say to much about enfj woman. "I said that and then went on and on for so long I decided to delete most of it" the ones I know have no problem sticking up for there friends or having verbal confrontations. I have never "to my knowledge" met a paticlurly chatty enfj. I do like to talk though. If I dont get enough interactions externally. I will actually introvert and produce them. its not uncommon to hear me spouting my opinions about things...... when I am in my room. alone :shock:


No, I do that too.:shock: I thought I was the only one going carzy. lol
 

LostInNerSpace

New member
Joined
Jan 25, 2008
Messages
1,027
MBTI Type
INTP
Thanks for the great responses. Do you any of you date INTPs? Do you like to date INTPs?

What turns you on? I am obessesd with making money, and global domination for that matter. Self-aggrandizement can be a problem for us, but since I know I have it and don't particularly care, I don't really see it as a problem.

Does money turn you on?
 

theshadow

New member
Joined
Sep 15, 2007
Messages
123
MBTI Type
enfj
Thanks for the great responses. Do you any of you date INTPs? Do you like to date INTPs?

What turns you on? I am obessesd with making money, and global domination for that matter. Self-aggrandizement can be a problem for us, but since I know I have it and don't particularly care, I don't really see it as a problem.

Does money turn you on?

:doh:

be more specific. are you being serious here? I am attracted to people that are working to accomplish things for there life. and it could easily be money. but NO.

my last gf was an intp. I loved her to death too:wubbie: , unfortunately we were both too immature to reconcile are differences. she found me overbearing and I was always irritated by her distance....... "neither of which were actually true"

what do you mean what turns us on? be specific. you mean to a relationship? sex?. what are you looking for? honestly the way you say that. FUCK!. Im pretty damn sure we all love people. I think I can say that we all want to love, and life. I wouldnt be impressed by a statement like that.
 
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