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  1. #1
    Senior Member LostInNerSpace's Avatar
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    Default How to spot an ENFJ a mile off

    I'm an INTP looking for love. Not simulated love protocol control packets beamed through subspace to a humanoid women, real woman, read love.

    It seems a good many INTPs endup with ENFJs. So I would just like to know how to spot an ENFJ. What are the charateristics of an ENFJ in public? How would an ENFJ personals ad typically read? Where do ENFJs like to hang out? How might one break the ice with an ENFJ?

    My interest is in ENFJ women, but I'm sure there are female INTPs knocking around who would not mind hearing it about ENFJ men.

  2. #2
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    the charisma will hit you from 2 miles away- so don't bother with trying to SPOT one per se- just try for the FEEL of one
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett
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  3. #3
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by whatever View Post
    the charisma will hit you from 2 miles away- so don't bother with trying to SPOT one per se- just try for the FEEL of one
    I love you, baby! Please come home!! *clings to your leg*
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
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  4. #4
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    I couldn't leave if I wanted to my dear leader!
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

  5. #5
    Plumage and Moult proteanmix's Avatar
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    ENFJs tend to be pretty blendable. Unless you're looking for a Jesus Christ Superstar ENFJ that's shining and glistening everywhere I don't think you'd immediately recognize one.

    When I read threads like MBTI superlatives and which type is more likely to do whatever, I notice a lack of ENFJ descriptors. I'm guessing that one of the reasons this must be is because people simply don't know how to recognize an average ENFJ. I suspect two women at my job are ENFJs and half the reason why I'm leaning towards ENFJ is because they are so absolutely blendable. I'm not getting a firm read which also contributes to my suspicion. I don't work closely with them enough to know for sure. I know they're EFJs but they don't feel ESFJ to me so that leaves me with ENFJ. No they're not leading a crusade or canvassing for members for their newly formed religious cult. Speaking for myself, I can't stress how much I tend to blend into the groups I'm with. I think I've written about this before, but I'll repeat it again. It's not a conforming blend, it's more a camouflage blend that's more versatile than an ESFJ blend.

    Another way to spot an ENFJ is to get a group together and see who rises to the top. I'm the leader of a film group and I know I'm on my A-game when I'm with my members. An ESFJ and ENFJ would start organizing the people fairly quickly, but I don't think an ESFJ would be as comfortable in a prime leadership position as an ENFJ. I unfortunately think I should always be in charge of groups because it's my rightful place in the universe and I'm SOOO magnanimous.

    Miscellaneous ENFJ stuff: random sexual innuendos that are quickly backed out of, moments of hubris and megalomania, lots of unnecessary verbalization of circular thought processes (but don't you dare mock one for this!), eruptions of strange noises, flailing limbs, invasive questions, occasional belligerence followed by a spate of apologies, dramatics and/or theatrics for your viewing pleasure (Are You Not Entertained?), and some other stuff I can't think of right now.

    And for Chrissakes: DO NOT EVER TELL AN ENFJ TO CALM DOWN!! I've rent people asunder over this.

    P.S. Lots of exaggeration and hyperbole.

    And yeah, this mostly pertains to me. I'll let other ENFJs do what they do and speak for themselves.
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  6. #6
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    a Jesus Christ Superstar ENFJ
    This made me lose half a beer out my left nostril, which I am sure is blessing hidden in a curse. So thank you.

  7. #7
    Plumage and Moult proteanmix's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by proteanmix View Post
    ENFJs tend to be pretty blendable. Unless you're looking for a Jesus Christ Superstar ENFJ that's shining and glistening everywhere I don't think you'd immediately recognize one.

    When I read threads like MBTI superlatives and which type is more likely to do whatever, I notice a lack of ENFJ descriptors. I'm guessing that one of the reasons this must be is because people simply don't know how to recognize an average ENFJ. I suspect two women at my job are ENFJs and half the reason why I'm leaning towards ENFJ is because they are so absolutely blendable. I'm not getting a firm read which also contributes to my suspicion. I don't work closely with them enough to know for sure. I know they're EFJs but they don't feel ESFJ to me so that leaves me with ENFJ. No they're not leading a crusade or canvassing for members for their newly formed religious cult. Speaking for myself, I can't stress how much I tend to blend into the groups I'm with. I think I've written about this before, but I'll repeat it again. It's not a conforming blend, it's more a camouflage blend that's more versatile than an ESFJ blend.

    Another way to spot an ENFJ is to get a group together and see who rises to the top. I'm the leader of a film group and I know I'm on my A-game when I'm with my members. An ESFJ and ENFJ would start organizing the people fairly quickly, but I don't think an ESFJ would be as comfortable in a prime leadership position as an ENFJ. I unfortunately think I should always be in charge of groups because it's my rightful place in the universe and I'm SOOO magnanimous.

    Miscellaneous ENFJ stuff: random sexual innuendos that are quickly backed out of, moments of hubris and megalomania, lots of unnecessary verbalization of circular thought processes (but don't you dare mock one for this!), eruptions of strange noises, flailing limbs, invasive questions, occasional belligerence followed by a spate of apologies, dramatics and/or theatrics for your viewing pleasure (Are You Not Entertained?), and some other stuff I can't think of right now.

    And for Chrissakes: DO NOT EVER TELL AN ENFJ TO CALM DOWN!! I've rent people asunder over this.

    P.S. Lots of exaggeration and hyperbole.

    And yeah, this mostly pertains to me. I'll let other ENFJs do what they do and speak for themselves.
    I've thought about this more and all of the crazy stuff I mentioned only applies to people that I'm friends with. When you first met me I'll be very friendly ask you non-invasive personal questions to get a better feel for you and be on my bestess behavior. All of the craziness shows if I think you can handle it.

    When I first met people I like to leave an positive impression. I don't want anyone to meet me and if they see me again have a big question mark in their mind. I want you to be remembered for positive reasons like I made you laugh or some other good thing so that any future exchanges are mutually pleasant encounters. But I don't do blandly pleasant so it's hard to describe.

  8. #8
    Glowy Goopy Goodness The_Liquid_Laser's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by proteanmix View Post
    Another way to spot an ENFJ is to get a group together and see who rises to the top. I'm the leader of a film group and I know I'm on my A-game when I'm with my members. An ESFJ and ENFJ would start organizing the people fairly quickly, but I don't think an ESFJ would be as comfortable in a prime leadership position as an ENFJ. I unfortunately think I should always be in charge of groups because it's my rightful place in the universe and I'm SOOO magnanimous.
    I believe that ENFJ has a "In Charge" Interaction Style, while the ESFJ has a "Get Things Going" style. So what you said seems to be a good way to differentiate the two.
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  9. #9
    Senior Member wedekit's Avatar
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    Charisma - The ENFJs I know are normally "Ok, so we need to get this project done. You guys are AWESOME! LET'S DO IT!"

    Creativity - For example, when it comes to making pretty signs for advertisements

    Religious - I know this will definitely not be characteristic of all ENFJs, but the ones I know are very enthusiastic about their religion.
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  10. #10
    ✿ڿڰۣஇღ♥ wut ♥ღஇڿڰۣ✿ digesthisickness's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by proteanmix View Post
    ENFJs tend to be pretty blendable. Unless you're looking for a Jesus Christ Superstar ENFJ that's shining and glistening everywhere I don't think you'd immediately recognize one.

    When I read threads like MBTI superlatives and which type is more likely to do whatever, I notice a lack of ENFJ descriptors. I'm guessing that one of the reasons this must be is because people simply don't know how to recognize an average ENFJ. I suspect two women at my job are ENFJs and half the reason why I'm leaning towards ENFJ is because they are so absolutely blendable. I'm not getting a firm read which also contributes to my suspicion. I don't work closely with them enough to know for sure. I know they're EFJs but they don't feel ESFJ to me so that leaves me with ENFJ. No they're not leading a crusade or canvassing for members for their newly formed religious cult. Speaking for myself, I can't stress how much I tend to blend into the groups I'm with. I think I've written about this before, but I'll repeat it again. It's not a conforming blend, it's more a camouflage blend that's more versatile than an ESFJ blend.

    Another way to spot an ENFJ is to get a group together and see who rises to the top. I'm the leader of a film group and I know I'm on my A-game when I'm with my members. An ESFJ and ENFJ would start organizing the people fairly quickly, but I don't think an ESFJ would be as comfortable in a prime leadership position as an ENFJ. I unfortunately think I should always be in charge of groups because it's my rightful place in the universe and I'm SOOO magnanimous.

    Miscellaneous ENFJ stuff: random sexual innuendos that are quickly backed out of, moments of hubris and megalomania, lots of unnecessary verbalization of circular thought processes (but don't you dare mock one for this!), eruptions of strange noises, flailing limbs, invasive questions, occasional belligerence followed by a spate of apologies, dramatics and/or theatrics for your viewing pleasure (Are You Not Entertained?), and some other stuff I can't think of right now.

    And for Chrissakes: DO NOT EVER TELL AN ENFJ TO CALM DOWN!! I've rent people asunder over this.

    P.S. Lots of exaggeration and hyperbole.

    And yeah, this mostly pertains to me. I'll let other ENFJs do what they do and speak for themselves.
    i don't know if i've known any, but i swear, while reading this definition, the character that julia roberts played in "the mexican" jumped out at me.

    am i off?
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