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[ENFJ] How to spot an ENFJ a mile off

LostInNerSpace

New member
Joined
Jan 25, 2008
Messages
1,027
MBTI Type
INTP
Oh, no. You dug up one of my old threads. It's sooo embarrassing. Let me find a post to hide behind.
 
G

Glycerine

Guest
@ Domino: I think the women don't have to prove themselves to society as much so they seem more subdued in that aspect. ENFJ males seem have this softened macho-ness relating to what you are saying.
 

LostInNerSpace

New member
Joined
Jan 25, 2008
Messages
1,027
MBTI Type
INTP
It's great, thank you very much! I have an amazing woman. Unfortunately only I can see her. It gets kind of tricky at family reunions and couples events. We make it work.
 

LostInNerSpace

New member
Joined
Jan 25, 2008
Messages
1,027
MBTI Type
INTP
I don't want to be doing this but you keep poking an prodding me. I don't know what you expect.
 

Parrish

New member
Joined
Dec 12, 2009
Messages
106
MBTI Type
infp
You may think you're keeping it to yourself but believe me, maybe it's because I'm a F-dom myself, but with Fi-doms they're feelings just emanate from them in pulsing waves without saying a word. When it's a good mood, it's a silent cheery buoyancy like a fragrant flower in the room contributing to the overall pleasantness and well-being of the atmosphere. When it's bad it's this inexplicable draining energy.

I`m being of topic here, but forgive me- Wow, that`s similar to how my (possibly INFJ) mom once described my moods as; she said that when I`m in a good mood it affects everyone around me, it uplifts their mood as well, wheter they are concious of it or not, but when I`m in a bad mood everyone knows it instantly and backs off. Maybe that`s a sign of immaturity or what? I`m working on not spreading bad energy.:yes:

Now that I think about it, maybe that`s why my English teacher in HS said I was like a germ that infects everyone around him!:D

cheers
 

Waffle

New member
Joined
Dec 4, 2009
Messages
76
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
2
They'll have the largest group of people hovering around them while being the friendliest and modest about it.
Trust me, you'll know.
Slightly less hyperactive then us ENFPs. :D
 

Unkindloving

Lungs & Lips Locked
Joined
Dec 10, 2009
Messages
2,963
MBTI Type
ENFJ
Enneagram
4w5
This is an interesting thread.....

Some noted patterns in ENFJs I know IRL:

Your entire post was fantastic and dead on. :yes:
Here are things i didn't expect to see, but really enjoyed and relate to...

- Uncanny ability to discuss personal topics without revealing a lot of personal info about themselves.

- Most of the male ENFJs have this nonchalant, faux-caddish attitude. It's like they pretend to be arrogant, but with a wink so that it's almost self-deprecating instead. I'm not sure how to explain it....it's terribly charming though :D

- Seek out, create, maintain, and organize social connections above almost anything else. They make friends, or friendly connections, rather easily. They don't see themselves as social butterflies though, because they have high standards for friends - so anything less than "deep" is not seen as anything extraordinary. From my perspective though, it is interesting how easily they get a response from people and how well they adapt to the other person to do so.

- Most of the ones I know are not ambitious in the way the "typical" J is. The dreamer/idealistic/perfectionist aspect of being an NF can get in the way, or their ambitions are so much in the interpersonal realm that practical goals get put on the back burner.

How would an ENFJ personals ad typically read?
Well, on social networking sites, they often have little personal info, but a lot of interests and opinions listed. In a contradiction of that they'll sometimes have a blog entry that is very personal in nature, or they'll post rather emotionally dramatic statements for their statuses (but often vague again). Many of the ones I know like to write, so blogs are a big thing for them.
 

Liason

I'm more offensive in person!
Joined
Jul 8, 2008
Messages
185
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
Look for the one with the plan :]
 

toast

New member
Joined
Oct 22, 2009
Messages
239
MBTI Type
ENFJ
Enneagram
2w3
Everybody says the first time they saw me they were intrigued and afraid (usually more one than the other) because I was too intense for my surroundings... I have been described as a "Titan" a lot (when someone is talking about their first impression of me).
 

Sparrow

New member
Joined
May 28, 2010
Messages
2,366
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
-We are engaged in conversation (but usually listening more then talking), laughing at jokes, helping someone with directions, organizing, doing helpful random things like offering to take a photo of a group of people (i do anyway, its a sweet thing to do for people!)...I am such nerd.

-My personal ad would say: Looking for someone intelligent, kind, someone who will listen, someone funny, & driven.

-I like to hang out @ the dog park with my pup, dance clubs, art shows, or in nature when I need to reflect on life

-To break the ice just be friendly and say, "hey how are you?" easy as that. Don’t come on too strong, just be genuine and nice!
 

Dailtone

New member
Joined
Nov 9, 2009
Messages
21
MBTI Type
ENFP
Ah, the ENFJ...

( SORRY, I know this thread was about how to spot an ENFJ, but reading all those traits made me want to post this...)

I'm a female late 20-something INFP (adjustable I/E and F/T , no compromise on the N and P) and I'm hopelessly, hopelessly still attracted to a 40-something man whom I'm sure is an ENFJ.

I just find him so enigmatic , intelligent, truly nice and sooooo fiendishly polite in an utterly sexy way. But he can also be a riot and life of the party too ( something I think is wonderful ). He's just all cautious exuberant warmth with dark pools of doubt which I reckon very few get to see.

At one point we were in a romantic online relationship together,meeting up very occasionally for a few friendly 'dates'. There would have been more but I was much younger than him and shy ( in real life ), and I sense he didn't want to scare me off...and he enjoyed the unfolding process , taking things slow. I was rather outrageous ( in a subtle way, of course ) in our online and phone chats....good times...

On our first meet together I was very very shy and I'll always remember the way he held out his palm to me with a smile as soon as I mentioned I dabbled in palmistry for fun. It was his way of making me feel comfortable. We were sitting at a cafe and as the conversation progressed he would playfully and gently nudge his knees against mine..."I like you" without actually saying a word. It wasn't long before we were nudging each other back and forth in return under the table while chatting non-chalantly. It just felt so sweet at the time :)

Alas...he was a married man, separated, but married nonetheless. I was only planning on being friends with him, and I like to think I nurtured his ego and spirit back to health ( he caught his wife , a beautiful woman whom he loved, cheating on him again with the same man after he thought they worked things out).

When I found myself actually in love with him, I panicked , backed off, thinking that if it was meant to be , he would find me after his separation. But I did'nt know how to express my feelings verbally...all he saw was a sudden slew of mixed signs and my fumbled , angry ( at myself ) attempts at goodbye. I think it confused him and turned him off. We more or less parted ways on those confused terms.

I did occasionally try to touch base a few times to say hello after that, but there was a wall. I sensed he would not appreciate me asking about his martial status. After a while I gave up any hope I had. I had a few rebound flings in college but I couldn’t forget him or stop thinking about him.

To cut a long story short ( HAH! Too late for that ! ) he did send me an IM out of the blue one day to say hello…unfortunately that happened to be the eve of my wedding day…

I found out recently that he did divorce his first wife. And remarried another lady with children not long after I got married. So I guess things worked out they way they did for a reason…but I still wonder sometimes, if I had waited a little longer or if he had said hello a little sooner…
 

Sparrow

New member
Joined
May 28, 2010
Messages
2,366
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
awe :( we all have that "one who got away"! shitty! maybe you guys will someday reunite who knows....
 

Kalifornia310

New member
Joined
Jan 12, 2010
Messages
6
MBTI Type
ENFJ
Enneagram
2
the ENFJ, will be that person at the party, who walks up to anyone and automatically knows how to start a conversation and seems warm and charismatic...


beware.. bad ENFJs are just like this, but with bad intentions...
 

Queen Kat

The Duchess of Oddity
Joined
Apr 3, 2009
Messages
3,053
MBTI Type
E.T.
Enneagram
7w8
I know only one guy who I'm absolutely sure of that he's an ENFJ. He always comes across as if he's trying to imitate George Clooney's facial expressions and body language. He's very charismatic, he always tries to be in the spotlights and he makes a lot of jokes. He tries to come across as very intelligent, but he doesn't even know what the word "transfer" means.
 
G

Glycerine

Guest
I know only one guy who I'm absolutely sure of that he's an ENFJ. He always comes across as if he's trying to imitate George Clooney's facial expressions and body language. He's very charismatic, he always tries to be in the spotlights and he makes a lot of jokes. He tries to come across as very intelligent, but he doesn't even know what the word "transfer" means.
haha, Are you for real? "Transfer"?
 

Queen Kat

The Duchess of Oddity
Joined
Apr 3, 2009
Messages
3,053
MBTI Type
E.T.
Enneagram
7w8
haha, Are you for real? "Transfer"?

Yes, I am. He even went to the school principal to demand a new writning skill test because the words we had to use (such as "transfer") were too hard to understand for 16 to 19 year olds and therefore we couldn't do the test properly. And we were supposed to be in the "genius class"? I'd rather call it the "retard class"!
 

Desperado44

New member
Joined
Jun 14, 2008
Messages
471
MBTI Type
ENFJ
( SORRY, I know this thread was about how to spot an ENFJ, but reading all those traits made me want to post this...)

I'm a female late 20-something INFP (adjustable I/E and F/T , no compromise on the N and P) and I'm hopelessly, hopelessly still attracted to a 40-something man whom I'm sure is an ENFJ.

I just find him so enigmatic , intelligent, truly nice and sooooo fiendishly polite in an utterly sexy way. But he can also be a riot and life of the party too ( something I think is wonderful ). He's just all cautious exuberant warmth with dark pools of doubt which I reckon very few get to see.

At one point we were in a romantic online relationship together,meeting up very occasionally for a few friendly 'dates'. There would have been more but I was much younger than him and shy ( in real life ), and I sense he didn't want to scare me off...and he enjoyed the unfolding process , taking things slow. I was rather outrageous ( in a subtle way, of course ) in our online and phone chats....good times...

On our first meet together I was very very shy and I'll always remember the way he held out his palm to me with a smile as soon as I mentioned I dabbled in palmistry for fun. It was his way of making me feel comfortable. We were sitting at a cafe and as the conversation progressed he would playfully and gently nudge his knees against mine..."I like you" without actually saying a word. It wasn't long before we were nudging each other back and forth in return under the table while chatting non-chalantly. It just felt so sweet at the time :)

Alas...he was a married man, separated, but married nonetheless. I was only planning on being friends with him, and I like to think I nurtured his ego and spirit back to health ( he caught his wife , a beautiful woman whom he loved, cheating on him again with the same man after he thought they worked things out).

When I found myself actually in love with him, I panicked , backed off, thinking that if it was meant to be , he would find me after his separation. But I did'nt know how to express my feelings verbally...all he saw was a sudden slew of mixed signs and my fumbled , angry ( at myself ) attempts at goodbye. I think it confused him and turned him off. We more or less parted ways on those confused terms.

I did occasionally try to touch base a few times to say hello after that, but there was a wall. I sensed he would not appreciate me asking about his martial status. After a while I gave up any hope I had. I had a few rebound flings in college but I couldn’t forget him or stop thinking about him.

To cut a long story short ( HAH! Too late for that ! ) he did send me an IM out of the blue one day to say hello…unfortunately that happened to be the eve of my wedding day…

I found out recently that he did divorce his first wife. And remarried another lady with children not long after I got married. So I guess things worked out they way they did for a reason…but I still wonder sometimes, if I had waited a little longer or if he had said hello a little sooner…

Wow.....very eery story. I'm 42 dating a 23 year old woman. It works.... we really enjoy each other......go figure.
 
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