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  1. #151
    Oberon
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    Quote Originally Posted by proteanmix View Post
    And for Chrissakes: DO NOT EVER TELL AN ENFJ TO CALM DOWN!! I've rent people asunder over this.

  2. #152
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sunshine8 View Post
    In answer to your first question about spotting an ENFJ. As ENFJ's are described as chameleons, you would be a little hard pressed to single out one particular behaviour, unless you have been close to one before and see similarities; you could find them swearing like a sailor and drinking moonshine in a gritty pub with the locals, then sipping champagne with bluebloods and then smiling angelically while lighting the candle in church, and would seem quite comfortable with each context (as long as they were reflecting an honest part of themselves).

    But there is one little sign that might help you spot the ENFJ.

    At a party look for the person who seems to be getting things going, who is talking to people easily and encouraging other people to talk, and then once the room is 'happening' watch them dissappear! This might take the form of escaping to the bathroom, going for a solitary stroll at midnight, or quietly slipping off home.

    I have spoken to numerous other ENFJs and we al do the same thing, especially when we are hosting a party. I have even known of one ENFJ woman who would hide in her closet to have a break from people!

    The reasoning is thus (in my opinion) - an ENFJ will tune into people especially if the room is not-happening ir someone is awkward/needing encouragement. They will put a lot of energy into tuning into everyone, getting the vibe going, enjoy the intimacy then complely burn-out!Unfortunately, this is usually the point in the night where everyone has decided they love the person and they are their best friend (because the ENFJ helped them feel that way in the beginning!) Hence the need to escape. It is too late to become a gentle wallflower and sip a whisky quietly!

    So now, when I make a new friend/workmate, and I can feel very close to them and then find they disappear a little - that is when I know, and i have been right so far in nearly every case. It can be confusing for people because the ENFJ hasn't stopped liking you or whatever, they have just had enough of taking everyone in.

    I hope that makes some sense!

    Also, if you do end up with an ENFJ, they bounce back really well from quality time alone. Usually with roses, music and as thousand new ideas...



    I
    My god. I filled in a registration and joined this website just to tell you that I am absolutely FLOORED by your post. I am an ENFJ and I DO THIS. I thought I was weird and anti-social and a lunatic. Unbelievable. The question is, what can we do to stop hiding in the bathroom?!?!?!?!

  3. #153
    Anamolic Amalgamation Forever's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by miss fortune View Post
    the charisma will hit you from 2 miles away- so don't bother with trying to SPOT one per se- just try for the FEEL of one
    You are dead on correct.

    This thread is a blessing.

    Likes xXMariahXx liked this post

  4. #154
    I could do things Hard's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by proteanmix View Post
    And for Chrissakes: DO NOT EVER TELL AN ENFJ TO CALM DOWN!! I've rent people asunder over this.
    Yep. Telling us to relax, calm down, etc. will at best result in us shouting "I AM CALM". When I am pissed or worked up it's gonna come out and telling me to stop will likely cause you to receive all of the ire for a short period .

    --------

    One of the best ways to spot an ENFJ is to look for flair hyperbolic displays and dramatics.
    MBTI: ExxJ tetramer
    Functions: Fe > Te > Ni > Se > Si > Ti > Fi > Ne
    Enneagram: 1w2 - 3w4 - 6w5 (The Taskmaster) | sp/so
    Socionics: β-E dimer | -
    Big 5: slOaI
    Temperament: Choleric/Melancholic
    Alignment: Lawful Neutral
    External Perception: Nohari and Johari

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  5. #155
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hard View Post

    One of the best ways to spot an ENFJ is to look for flair hyperbolic displays and dramatics.
    So true, I either dress grubby or really dressy with bold makeup/lipstick. I enjoy getting a rise out of people in fun, little ways.
    Likes Hard, xXMariahXx, bundleofsunshine liked this post

  6. #156
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    Hmm... how to spot an ENFJ?

    Look for the 'cheerleader' of the group, the person who is encouraging everyone, trying to help friends network with each other to attain their own professional goals, etc. Then once small talk has settled in and there is no other visible way to 'help someone attain their goals', watch the ENFJ disappear to somewhere else

    ENFJs fortunately or fortunately see themselves as save-the-world-types, so dating one might seem a bit exhausting if you don't have the same priority

    Source? I'm an ENFJ woman dating a ENFP
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  7. #157
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    Quote Originally Posted by FutureInProgress View Post
    So true, I either dress grubby or really dressy with bold makeup/lipstick. I enjoy getting a rise out of people in fun, little ways.
    can i inbox you? i'm trying to figure out if someone is an ENFJ or not.

  8. #158
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    Quote Originally Posted by bundleofsunshine View Post
    can i inbox you? i'm trying to figure out if someone is an ENFJ or not.
    Sure.
    Likes bundleofsunshine liked this post

  9. #159
    Senior Member geedoenfj's Avatar
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    Spreading love, giving hugs
    Work for a cause not for Applause
    Live to express not to Impress


    “sometimes... confused people are funnier, nicer, and more open-minded than non-confused people.” labyrinthine


    6w7 > 1w2 > 4w3

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  10. #160
    Cyber Strider Korvinagor's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by geedoenfj View Post
    Spreading love, giving hugs
    But how is that different from ESFJ...? Seems hard to tell between them?

    I imagine dominant Fe as quite, well, dominant.
    Likes geedoenfj liked this post

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