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  1. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fuzzcrossed View Post
    Just other than the ENFJ; we talk about how awesome we are far too often, lol.

    Your perspective is particularly interesting; I recently reconnected with an old friend of mine last night--an INFJ. Thing is, I feel the same--I can totally be myself around her without the threat of rejection, and we totally get one another.

    The only issue I've found with an ENFJ/INFJ relationship is just that we might be too close together...I'd be afraid I'd be missing something. On the other hand, with INFPs, I find I often can't win...they care about/for themselves very well, but I think they find it difficult to care for others. Same with ENFPs to some magnitude; I've got one friend who calls me up only when she has a problem.

    *shrug* Do you have any experience in that arena?
    Quote Originally Posted by Vasilisa View Post
    Awww, are you fishing? Feeling low? I'll gladly tell you about my interaction with an ENFJ male.

    It is hard to say where personality type qualities end and begin, so take from it what you will. I was not in any kind of romantic relationship with an ENFJ, this is about a friend. The ENFJ I know is very attractive. What makes him so attractive is that he is so smart. Really, really, naturally curious and able to remember things with ease. I felt like we had that in common, so it was great to be on some kind of learning experience with him because we were in sync. And being so smart gives him a wonderful advantage in his next really attractive quality, which is being incredibly funny. What I noticed about his humor is that he can just turn it on, as soon as he steps into a room even if it were filled with strangers. Which is not to say he acts goofy. Contrast it with my own nature (whether I am funny or not is debatable) where I have to warm to the situation first. A group of strangers - he owns it. I love the ENFJ wit so much. The ENFJ doesn't appear to want to stop growing, this too is appealing because I think it sends a signal that life together would remain exciting. This is hard to put into words, perhaps its the soul-searching of youth, but I really think that this ENFJ won't cease seeking new awareness. This carries an implication for those who might want to accompany the ENFJ on the ride, but still no "dead-shark" relationship threat which is exciting. The ENFJ can show tenderness and vulnerability. He displays a heart that is kind of symbolic and romantic, and I relate to that. And the ENFJ seems outwardly devoted to his love and the relationship's mutual progress.

    For our private interactions it was as though we immediately felt something kindred between us, but it was almost like a light too bright to look at. Its difficult to describe.

    One ENFJ: Intelligent, witty, charming, desiring to grow, romantic, loyal.
    I hope this helps. I left out any negatives, since you asked only for what is attractive.


    This post really reads like I was in love with an ENFJ. I absolutely wasn't, please understand. Maybe it comes naturally to name the beauty in the cherished people I'm fortunate enough to get to know.
    Quote Originally Posted by CuriousFeeling View Post
    Most of my bffs have been ENFJs, and we have been very close. The thing is, maybe it's a type 4 thing as well, I kind of envy the fact they are much more gifted at the social stuff and seem to have much more success than I do in wrangling the troops up to do something. I end up feeling like I could never be half as wonderful, sunshiny and charismatic as they are. But, I feel a unique closeness with ENFJs, and feel that I have very rewarding conversations with them. They bring me out of my shell a bit.

    Quote Originally Posted by Fuzzcrossed View Post
    My INFJ friends have wisdom that I can't touch without them. They teach me, and guide me in the ways of the force so that I am able to conquer the universe.

    Y'all are like Yoda.

    Not to mention your courage and resilience. Your willingness to humor me. I value that you let loose around me; few people get me like that, and it's nice to see I can relax people, as well as motivate them.
    ENFJs and INFJs are synergy defined.

  2. #12
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    What isn't attractive?

    - I like their teasing sense of humor; it can be cheesy, but they know it, which adds a whole other level of silly to it.
    - I like that they're often really passionate about something, & it's usually something I can admire myself. Passion makes a person kissable, definitely.
    - I like that they're very loyal to those they care about; friends don't slip through the cracks. They resist "growing" apart (although it still can happen).
    - They have a huge intellectual curiosity; always a plus.
    - They have a genuine curiosity in people, which comes across as very personable.
    - They make stuff happen. They have structure & plans without being uptight or losing all sense of spontaneity.
    - They're more purely sympathetic when you're down than an IFJ; you're less likely to get a lecture on what should have been done (:cough:ISFJ:cough: ) or what needs to be done (:cough:INFJ:cough: ).
    - They're sensitive to people, & unabashedly warm & affectionate,
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  3. #13
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fuzzcrossed View Post
    On the other hand, with INFPs, I find I often can't win...they care about/for themselves very well, but I think they find it difficult to care for others. Same with ENFPs to some magnitude; I've got one friend who calls me up only when she has a problem.
    I don't think this is a fair statement. INFPs tend to show they care in non Fe ways, so if you're looking for Fe displays of caring, then no, you're not going to get it. However, that does not mean INFPs do not care; we may care so intensely that it's almost impossible to express.

    I've been on the other end of both an INFJ & ENFJ who only talk about themselves & only call when they're down & need to vent. I think this has more to do with NFs attracting broken people in need of a listening ear than any particular type being only takers & not givers (but sometimes those broken people are other NFs...). The other issue is, I know some ENFJs who refuse to open up & keep deflecting the conversation away from them; what's a person supposed to do then?
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  4. #14
    Senior Member TopherRed's Avatar
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    You are right Ora. And I have trouble with those ENFJs too. A person is supposed to move slowly, but intently, to try to find the source of the pain (which is why they are really hiding). Sometimes, this process is one of waiting and drawing close, and can take months. Make sure before you try to help someone in this way that you genuinely care about them first, otherwise when it comes time for the tough love, they, being the ENFJs, will have seen through you months before that.
    Love is the point.

  5. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post
    I don't think this is a fair statement. INFPs tend to show they care in non Fe ways, so if you're looking for Fe displays of caring, then no, you're not going to get it. However, that does not mean INFPs do not care; we may care so intensely that it's almost impossible to express.

    I've been on the other end of both an INFJ & ENFJ who only talk about themselves & only call when they're down & need to vent. I think this has more to do with NFs attracting broken people in need of a listening ear than any particular type being only takers & not givers (but sometimes those broken people are other NFs...). The other issue is, I know some ENFJs who refuse to open up & keep deflecting the conversation away from them; what's a person supposed to do then?
    I was going to say.. if INFJs are synergy.. INFPs are Synchronicity. These are the people who understand my passion. These are the people who can hold that passion and not get burned by it , but rather embrace it and move with it, in synchronicity and harmony.

  6. #16
    Senior Member TopherRed's Avatar
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    Fascinating!
    Love is the point.

  7. #17
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fuzzcrossed View Post
    You are right Ora. And I have trouble with those ENFJs too. A person is supposed to move slowly, but intently, to try to find the source of the pain (which is why they are really hiding). Sometimes, this process is one of waiting and drawing close, and can take months. Make sure before you try to help someone in this way that you genuinely care about them first, otherwise when it comes time for the tough love, they, being the ENFJs, will have seen through you months before that.
    I'm not a proponent of tough love. I've noticed in many threads a huge distinction between ENFPs & INFPs there. The ENFPs don't mind giving/taking a kick in the butt, but the INFPs often loathe that method. We're not called "healers" for nothing. Not that I just coddle people either, but I'd argue that INFPs, on the whole, are the most gentle advisors of the NFs.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  8. #18
    Senior Member TopherRed's Avatar
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    Interesting.
    Love is the point.

  9. #19
    ¡MI TORTA! Amethyst's Avatar
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    Maybe...if they don't brush their teeth with a bottle of jack.

  10. #20
    Senior Member TopherRed's Avatar
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    HA! Are you saying Ke$ha is one of ours? Oh noes!
    Love is the point.

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