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  1. #1
    Undisciplined Starry's Avatar
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    Default Am I Makin Crazy Talk Here?

    Quite a few years ago I read – don’t remember if it was a book, mag, online – that in scientifically controlled studies NFs were able to identify other NFs in the room full of individuals from all Types with remarkable accuracy.

    Now here is where my memory goes fuzzy so I certainly cannot be ‘quoted’ on this…but I believe the #1 reason they gave for being able to identify other NFs was because of a ‘look in the eye’. And I believe NFs were the only group that could really do this when compared to NT, SP, SJ.

    I guess I was just wondering if anyone knows of the studies I refer to (and want to find)…and if anyone experiences this as well.

    In a way it is challenging for me to discuss because I run the ‘risk’ of saying NFs are ‘the most remarkable’…and that is not what I mean at all. Like, I really, really like the earthiness of SPs and the humor & insight of NTs, etc. But I feel like I too can identify NFs. They seem to have a ‘stronger to me’ vibration or something. Crazy talk?

  2. #2
    Senior Member Malkavia's Avatar
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    Not really. ALL my close friends are NFs. I didn't know that till eventually we all took MBTI. I was naturally attracted to them and "saw something" in them when I first met them. This is what convinced me to put effort in our relationships. My friend circle consist of 1 INFP, 2 ENFPs (including myself), and 2 ENFJs.

  3. #3
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    That's not surprising. Most of my friends I feel closest to are NFs.

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    Senior Member Rebe's Avatar
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    Not at all. I am pretty good with identifying all types, esp. ones I fundamentally understand. I can pinpoint them from a mile away. I am not better with NFs than other types because I actually haven't been around a lot of NFs... I don't think this is crazy or odd. Just as you can tell from a person some basic personality traits, if you learn typology enough and make enough observations, you can quite easily identify another's type within minutes of meeting.

  5. #5
    Junior Member stellachiara's Avatar
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    You're not crazy at all -- my ENFP husband and I feel the same way - you can just feel the similar wavelength going on with the other NFs. I think the F/T dichotomy is one of the most essential. I can get along okay with T people, but I'm never all the way comfortable with them. I always feel on the outside of things with them. S/N is also a huge difference, but I actually like hanging out with S's - it's kind of a vacation from my INFJ-ness I think I/E and P/J are less important and easier to negotiate - they are less about what people are and more about how they do things.

  6. #6
    Senior Member Vamp's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Malkavia View Post
    Not really. ALL my close friends are NFs. I didn't know that till eventually we all took MBTI. I was naturally attracted to them and "saw something" in them when I first met them. This is what convinced me to put effort in our relationships. My friend circle consist of 1 INFP, 2 ENFPs (including myself), and 2 ENFJs.
    Same here. My closest friends were INFPs, ENFJs and one INFJ.
    I only found out their types by tooling around on facebook and seeing they'd taken a MBTI test.

    That's weird.
    I guess it's one reason why I've felt like a square peg in a round hole ever since. I haven't found that type of connect that just feels right since. I'm sure there are other factors but I can definitely say the one friend who didn't have a mbti type up is an infp.
    George Bernard Shaw in cartoon form.

  7. #7
    Senior Member animenagai's Avatar
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    Yeah I agree. lol I swear, sometimes you guys are overly sensitive in listing the strengths of the types, it's fine, all types have strengths and weaknesses, you just can't address them all with one post.

    Uh hum. Anyways, I think it has something to do with the warmth NF's have coupled with the natural energy/curios nature. We always have a little glimmer in our eye, one that I associate with N's. Somehow I can tell if someone likes to think in complicated theoretical terms . That's just me though.
    Chimera of Filth

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    My throbbing heart it gnawed apart
    It stalks and hunts me through mirrors

  8. #8
    can't handcuff the wind Z Buck McFate's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by StarryKnights View Post
    In a way it is challenging for me to discuss because I run the ‘risk’ of saying NFs are ‘the most remarkable’…and that is not what I mean at all. Like, I really, really like the earthiness of SPs and the humor & insight of NTs, etc. But I feel like I too can identify NFs. They seem to have a ‘stronger to me’ vibration or something. Crazy talk?

    I've noticed that only other Ns can follow the leaps in my trains of thought, which is important if I'm trying to work through something and haven't quite figured out how to articulate it clearly. I hadn't heard of a study about this, but it would be interesting to read.


    And I hear you, about not wanting to sound like you're implying it's the 'most remarkable'. I really almost see it more as my own handicap than others' shortcomings most of the time (probably because of being the minority). I remember once one of my college professors told me- in a humanities class I was in- that I was participating enough in class, it's just that I wasn't making much sense when I participated. I asked another professor if he saw that problem in me as well, and- after getting an odd look on his face (he seemed as surprised as I was that I'd gotten this feedback)- told me that he never had a problem understanding what I meant (and he was the professor for Critical Theory- where we discussed the likes of Heidegger and Derrida, where it's ridiculously easy to go on solo abstract tangents that don't make sense). I'm pretty sure the latter professor was an NF, at the very least he was N; and I'm fairly certain the former was an ISxJ.

    Those intuitive leaps definitely have their downside: quite often I have no idea wtf a couple of my friends are trying to say, their leaps are just too drastic for me to make the connections. And it happens with me too, if something isn't worked out enough in my head- my N friends don't know what I'm trying to say either (and usually I already know that I'm not making sense, but I'll try anyway). I know it gets annoying to me, as an intuitive, so I can't even imagine how annoying we must be to the sensor-iest of people sometimes.
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  9. #9
    Senior Member Vamp's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Z Buck McFate View Post
    I've noticed that only other Ns can follow the leaps in my trains of thought, which is important if I'm trying to work through something and haven't quite figured out how to articulate it clearly. I hadn't heard of a study about this, but it would be interesting to read.


    And I hear you, about not wanting to sound like you're implying it's the 'most remarkable'. I really almost see it more as my own handicap than others' shortcomings most of the time (probably because of being the minority). I remember once one of my college professors told me- in a humanities class I was in- that I was participating enough in class, it's just that I wasn't making much sense when I participated. I asked another professor if he saw that problem in me as well, and- after getting an odd look on his face (he seemed as surprised as I was that I'd gotten this feedback)- told me that he never had a problem understanding what I meant (and he was the professor for Critical Theory- where we discussed the likes of Heidegger and Derrida, where it's ridiculously easy to go on solo abstract tangents that don't make sense). I'm pretty sure the latter professor was an NF, at the very least he was N; and I'm fairly certain the former was an ISxJ.

    Those intuitive leaps definitely have their downside: quite often I have no idea wtf a couple of my friends are trying to say, their leaps are just too drastic for me to make the connections. And it happens with me too, if something isn't worked out enough in my head- my N friends don't know what I'm trying to say either (and usually I already know that I'm not making sense, but I'll try anyway). I know it gets annoying to me, as an intuitive, so I can't even imagine how annoying we must be to the sensor-iest of people sometimes.
    Aw, I feel the same way. It seems like a handicap. I've only had that kind of connection (where people understand what you're saying and don't look at you like you're an alien) with a few people since highschool.

    I too see it as a handicap and I think that's what fuels a lot of Ns feeling the world is against us. It seem like it is.
    I think pretty much all of us have similar stories of feeling not quite right or like misfits because of something intangible and we associate it with our N-ness. Whether that is actually true or not is another thing but I think there's something to it.
    George Bernard Shaw in cartoon form.

  10. #10
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    I've also found that only NFs can follow the leaps in my train of thought. I've also recognized NFs by a look in their eyes. It's a desire to connect that's there and a curiosity about life. A willingness to see beneath the surface of things. I'm in heaven with other NFs and NTs. I spent four years in a graduate writing program with almost nothing but NFs and NTs. The flood of abstract thought and people who are comfortable with life's contradictions (that wonderful ability to stay in a grey area and not want to solve something right away with the "correct" answer) was like finding my real family. Like Z Buck says, I often don't understand what I've just said because I may not know quite where I'm going with something. Other NFs are patient with this. They'll end up changing the subject, and I'll follow along until (if I'm lucky), I'll come up with a better understanding of an earlier topic. It's funny. I work with mostly IS or ES types and they have no idea where I'm going with something. It's very irritating to my ISTJ boss. He looks at me as if I'm from another planet. I can see he literally does not see the leaps and finds what I'm saying confusing and pointless. My other collegues, most of whom I like very much, also have no interest in talking about anything other than what's right in front of them (which is OK, I can do that and enjoy it too). I can see them lose interest immediately when I start to talk about anything else. It feels a little lonely at times, though I've hunted down a few NFs at work

    In short, I don't think you're making crazy talk.

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