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Thread: ENFJ in love

  1. #1
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    Default ENFJ in love

    inspired by the ISTJ equivalent, because ENFJs are one of my favorite enigmas.

    will they say it?
    show it?
    or just expect you to know?

  2. #2
    Senior Member Sparrow's Avatar
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    They will say it and show it! And will probably smother you with it, lol.
    Fe | Ni | Se | Ti ... 3w4 ... Lawful Neutral ... Johari -Nohari

  3. #3
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    I'm very verbal toward the object of my affection. I depart from my usual aloofness, my giant-swath-of-personal-space mode (even though it's still there) and become rather affectionate, mostly looks, tones, touching arms or shoulders, etc. In the early stages, I once gave a guy a postcard of a child picking it's nose, said "Look, it's you..." He laughed, smiled this very sweet unguarded smile, and turned a little red. I wasn't expecting that reaction, but I liked it.

    I like to engage in "play" with this person - the daily mode of operation - but I can become hideously shy when things are getting serious. I only *look* like I'm forward. Charm and playfulness are tools I use to draw someone out and get a feel for them. I see a similar natural Fe talent inherent in ENTPs.
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
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    EII-Fi subtype, Ethical/Empath, Delta/Beta
    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
    Inquistive/Limbic
    AIS Holland code
    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  4. #4
    Senior Member TopherRed's Avatar
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    Hey Skylight, why don't you ask him? He'll front. Then he'll be honest. It's is difficult not to appreciate an ENFP. Playmates, for sure, with potential for more.
    Love is the point.

  5. #5
    Senior Member Neutralpov's Avatar
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    I don't think you could miss if an ENFJ were in love if you wanted to. I get seriously strong, oozing desire, super confident, and internally just ....fierce. passion like that makes me kinda unstoppable so yeah you would know. Enneagram 1s/ENFJs are HOT in love, I have had an INTJ say "woah" at my intensity when given full expression. If you can't handle the heat get the F$#&%^$ away from the kitchen. seriously no do we are so on fire you will have to be far away ;-)

  6. #6
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    Do it, Skylights! Do it!
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
    Neutral Good
    EII-Fi subtype, Ethical/Empath, Delta/Beta
    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
    Inquistive/Limbic
    AIS Holland code
    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  7. #7
    Senior Member TopherRed's Avatar
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    If he doesn't go for you, the ENFJ man-team will assassinate him for being a louse (haven't you ever wondered why there are less ENFJ men than ENFJ women?). Hehehe.
    Love is the point.

  8. #8
    Lungs & Lips Locked Unkindloving's Avatar
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    I'm terribly obvious when I'm all over someone. I also feel inclined to tell them, even if they don't feel the same. It's not an attempt to sway them and I keep awkwardness from it, but it's as though they neeed to know. It drives me nuts to feel like I am witholding my feelings and thoughts from someone I care about.

    It also triggers a desire to give to them. I begin to associate and pinpoint things I see that they might like. I'm inclined to show said love through gifts, crafts, notes etc. In a way, it takes over. If someone misses it, they are ridiculously oblivious.

    The few other ENFJs I know are also very obvious. I'd say it's because we are emotionally intense and emotionally open. We'll make attempts to hide the intensity, but love brings it out full-force. Flood gates and all.
    Hang on traveling woman - Don't sacrifice your plan
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  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sparrow View Post
    They will say it and show it! And will probably smother you with it, lol.
    lol... this made me laugh, Sparrow

    Quote Originally Posted by Domino View Post
    I'm very verbal toward the object of my affection.

    I like to engage in "play" with this person - the daily mode of operation
    All these statements pretty much sum it up. I think this even applies to my friends that I admire dearly as well, not just towards an SO.

  10. #10
    Senior Member ExAstrisSpes's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Unkindloving View Post
    I'm terribly obvious when I'm all over someone. I also feel inclined to tell them, even if they don't feel the same. It's not an attempt to sway them and I keep awkwardness from it, but it's as though they neeed to know. It drives me nuts to feel like I am witholding my feelings and thoughts from someone I care about.

    It also triggers a desire to give to them. I begin to associate and pinpoint things I see that they might like. I'm inclined to show said love through gifts, crafts, notes etc. In a way, it takes over. If someone misses it, they are ridiculously oblivious.

    The few other ENFJs I know are also very obvious. I'd say it's because we are emotionally intense and emotionally open. We'll make attempts to hide the intensity, but love brings it out full-force. Flood gates and all.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sparrow View Post
    They will say it and show it! And will probably smother you with it, lol.
    Both of these. There is no subtlety in our ardor.

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