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[ENFJ] ENFJ in love

skylights

i love
Joined
Jul 6, 2010
Messages
7,756
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
inspired by the ISTJ equivalent, because ENFJs are one of my favorite enigmas.

will they say it?
show it?
or just expect you to know?
 

Sparrow

New member
Joined
May 28, 2010
Messages
2,366
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
They will say it and show it! And will probably smother you with it, lol. :wubbie:
 

Domino

ENFJ In Chains
Joined
Nov 5, 2007
Messages
11,429
MBTI Type
eNFJ
Enneagram
4w3
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
I'm very verbal toward the object of my affection. I depart from my usual aloofness, my giant-swath-of-personal-space mode (even though it's still there) and become rather affectionate, mostly looks, tones, touching arms or shoulders, etc. In the early stages, I once gave a guy a postcard of a child picking it's nose, said "Look, it's you..." He laughed, smiled this very sweet unguarded smile, and turned a little red. I wasn't expecting that reaction, but I liked it.

I like to engage in "play" with this person - the daily mode of operation - but I can become hideously shy when things are getting serious. I only *look* like I'm forward. Charm and playfulness are tools I use to draw someone out and get a feel for them. I see a similar natural Fe talent inherent in ENTPs.
 

TopherRed

New member
Joined
Jul 28, 2009
Messages
1,272
MBTI Type
ENFJ
Enneagram
2w3
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
Hey Skylight, why don't you ask him? He'll front. Then he'll be honest. It's is difficult not to appreciate an ENFP. :) Playmates, for sure, with potential for more.
 

Neutralpov

New member
Joined
Jun 29, 2009
Messages
310
I don't think you could miss if an ENFJ were in love if you wanted to. I get seriously strong, oozing desire, super confident, and internally just ....fierce. passion like that makes me kinda unstoppable so yeah you would know. Enneagram 1s/ENFJs are HOT in love, I have had an INTJ say "woah" at my intensity when given full expression. If you can't handle the heat get the F$#&%^$ away from the kitchen. seriously no do we are so on fire you will have to be far away ;-)
 

Domino

ENFJ In Chains
Joined
Nov 5, 2007
Messages
11,429
MBTI Type
eNFJ
Enneagram
4w3
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
Do it, Skylights! Do it!
 

TopherRed

New member
Joined
Jul 28, 2009
Messages
1,272
MBTI Type
ENFJ
Enneagram
2w3
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
If he doesn't go for you, the ENFJ man-team will assassinate him for being a louse (haven't you ever wondered why there are less ENFJ men than ENFJ women?). Hehehe.
 

Unkindloving

Lungs & Lips Locked
Joined
Dec 10, 2009
Messages
2,963
MBTI Type
ENFJ
Enneagram
4w5
I'm terribly obvious when I'm all :wubbie: over someone. I also feel inclined to tell them, even if they don't feel the same. It's not an attempt to sway them and I keep awkwardness from it, but it's as though they neeed to know. It drives me nuts to feel like I am witholding my feelings and thoughts from someone I care about.

It also triggers a desire to give to them. I begin to associate and pinpoint things I see that they might like. I'm inclined to show said love through gifts, crafts, notes etc. In a way, it takes over. If someone misses it, they are ridiculously oblivious.

The few other ENFJs I know are also very obvious. I'd say it's because we are emotionally intense and emotionally open. We'll make attempts to hide the intensity, but love brings it out full-force. Flood gates and all.
 
H

Hate

Guest
They will say it and show it! And will probably smother you with it, lol. :wubbie:

lol... this made me laugh, Sparrow :D

I'm very verbal toward the object of my affection.

I like to engage in "play" with this person - the daily mode of operation

All these statements pretty much sum it up. I think this even applies to my friends that I admire dearly as well, not just towards an SO.
 

ExAstrisSpes

New member
Joined
Aug 11, 2010
Messages
337
MBTI Type
ENFJ
I'm terribly obvious when I'm all :wubbie: over someone. I also feel inclined to tell them, even if they don't feel the same. It's not an attempt to sway them and I keep awkwardness from it, but it's as though they neeed to know. It drives me nuts to feel like I am witholding my feelings and thoughts from someone I care about.

It also triggers a desire to give to them. I begin to associate and pinpoint things I see that they might like. I'm inclined to show said love through gifts, crafts, notes etc. In a way, it takes over. If someone misses it, they are ridiculously oblivious.

The few other ENFJs I know are also very obvious. I'd say it's because we are emotionally intense and emotionally open. We'll make attempts to hide the intensity, but love brings it out full-force. Flood gates and all.

They will say it and show it! And will probably smother you with it, lol. :wubbie:

Both of these. There is no subtlety in our ardor.
 

Arclight

Permabanned
Joined
Nov 5, 2009
Messages
3,177
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
6w5
I am pretty subtle about it.. and somewhat shy. 95% of the people I have had relations with made the 1st move. I am sure they knew I liked them but I am rarely so assuming as to make the 1st move.
In some cases the best way to tell if I really like you is by how much I ignore you..If I am flirty or talkative with most of the other females around.. and not so much you.. You are the one I am probably all gooey over.
Go figure
 

Lauren

New member
Joined
Dec 7, 2008
Messages
255
MBTI Type
INFP
I'm terribly obvious when I'm all :wubbie: over someone. I also feel inclined to tell them, even if they don't feel the same. It's not an attempt to sway them and I keep awkwardness from it, but it's as though they neeed to know. It drives me nuts to feel like I am witholding my feelings and thoughts from someone I care about. It also triggers a desire to give to them. I begin to associate and pinpoint things I see that they might like. I'm inclined to show said love through gifts, crafts, notes etc. In a way, it takes over. If someone misses it, they are ridiculously oblivious.

The few other ENFJs I know are also very obvious. I'd say it's because we are emotionally intense and emotionally open. We'll make attempts to hide the intensity, but love brings it out full-force. Flood gates and all.

Thank you for saying exactly what's been in my heart for months. I'm not an ENFJ, but I'm exactly this way when I'm in love. I just can't suppress showing it, though I know I sometimes try not to. I'm very intense and have a difficult time hiding the fact that I care. I don't hide it, really. It also drives me nuts to not tell someone I love that I love them. I would just like to come out and say what's so obvious. I find some outlet, some way, of nonverbally telling them how much I care. I say things or do things for them. Or I tell them by showing them that I'm interested in what they think, do, say, and that I remember what they have said or what we have talked about. I also feel that I'm incredibly obvious but I don't care. I hope I'm obvious. To keep something like that inside is too hard on the heart.
 

skylights

i love
Joined
Jul 6, 2010
Messages
7,756
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
Hey Skylight, why don't you ask him? He'll front. Then he'll be honest. It's is difficult not to appreciate an ENFP. :) Playmates, for sure, with potential for more.

Do it, Skylights! Do it!

i appreciate the encouragement very much, but i am not currently crushing on an ENFJ :laugh: i will keep your advice in mind in the future, however!

i do have an underlying reason for asking (don't we NFs always), as you have picked up - you're just a teensy bit off - i'm especially curious because an ENFJ (tested and seems right to me) that i know is very warm and huggy with a lot of people - very into body contact - but around the guy she hangs out with more than anyone, she hardly touches him at all. i don't mean to pry in her life - we've just been friends for a very long time, and this is rather odd behavior for her. i don't think most people have picked up on it either, she's pretty subtle and it's been a recent thing - within the last year or so - i am very curious about what would cause a change like that, and suspected maybe a crush. i spoke to her recently and she's definitely not actively "with" anyone, either.

i do not intend to jump to conclusions regarding her, but it got me wondering how being in love would manifest for most ENFJs.

Arclight said:
In some cases the best way to tell if I really like you is by how much I ignore you..If I am flirty or talkative with most of the other females around.. and not so much you.. You are the one I am probably all gooey over.

that's interesting.
 
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