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  1. #1
    Senior Member hermeticdancer's Avatar
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    Default ENFP crush on INFJ need your help...

    OK. I need your help. I am ENFP, to get that part over with...
    I have a serious crush on this guy, who happens to be an INFJ, he told me so over conversation. He is a counselor/interviewer of sorts and is helping me at an employment center for the last 2 months. OMG, I have the biggest crush on him, and I want to kiss him, just lean over the desk and plant one on his face. I think he is cute and shy and his eyes are so blue... I get nervous and butterfly's thinking about him... I don't know him that well... help... I don't have a reason to go in there anymore, as I have found a job, also, I don't think hes married (no ring) I'm not even sure if he has a girlfriend... He has set boundaries, and hasn't asked me out or anything, he is very professional, i get vibes that he's avoiding me... I have no idea on his end... just don't want to make him uncomfortable but I have to take my shot right? any advice... I'll always wonder... what if?
    I've only felt this type of connection with someone twice before in my life...

  2. #2
    Senior Member thescientist's Avatar
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    Did you flirt with him or hint at all that you were into him? How did he respond to you?

  3. #3
    Senior Member hermeticdancer's Avatar
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    I flirted with him...
    I wore cute clothes and makeup, and smiled... but I guess I wasn't aggressive...

  4. #4
    Senior Member hermeticdancer's Avatar
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    Ohh, he responded by being shy... and he laughed at a stupid thing I said... that was not even funny. I saw his pupils dilate... I am a total dork I know... I was watching for it... but I also felt that he was being nice to other people too, and he ignored me on other occasions as well. He would actually avoid me when i would walk into the center, and go into his cubicle, or a closet... or maybe I am imagining these things... when we were sitting he gave me his full attention, but got distracted a little bit, and had trouble focusing on things, when I asked him what the date was...
    he seemed a little scattered... also, I don't know I just wanted to ask him out the whole time,,, and we had to talk about jobs. It was kind of painful...
    But I asked him about him and he told me, and he just kind of insulted himself, and put himself down a bit, and said that his life is hard too, because I was kind of complaining a bit, about my struggles, so I guess he was trying to empathize I guess... who knows. It is a government office...

  5. #5
    Senior Member Rebe's Avatar
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    1. what do you have to lose if you ask him out?
    2. what do you lose if you don't ask him out?

    have you ever asked guys out before in formal-ish situations? i haven't so i can't say what the best way to do it is. but it'd be terrible to walk away from such a lovely thing, if you feel so strongly. the worse thing is he says no and the rest of your appointments are very awkward. ah well, life is awkward. missed opportunities suck. i can tell when guys like me when they laugh at my hundred and one jokes. i tend to make a lot of them and they are not really as funny as those guys make it out to be. it makes me awkward actually that they laugh that loudly.

    can you be like ... i like you and i would like to get to know you. in a different setting. is that really awkward?

  6. #6
    Senior Member hermeticdancer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by thescientist View Post
    Did you flirt with him or hint at all that you were into him? How did he respond to you?
    Yes not out right, but I was flirting. I didn't say. 'yo, Im into you--'
    How do you think he responded? Either he hasn't got a clue, he's too shy to make a move, he's not interested, or he's in a relationship,,,
    in any case I'm alone in bed tonight when I want to be with him...

  7. #7
    Senior Member hermeticdancer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rebe View Post
    1. what do you have to lose if you ask him out?
    2. what do you lose if you don't ask him out?

    have you ever asked guys out before in formal-ish situations? i haven't so i can't say what the best way to do it is. but it'd be terrible to walk away from such a lovely thing, if you feel so strongly. the worse thing is he says no and the rest of your appointments are very awkward. ah well, life is awkward. missed opportunities suck. i can tell when guys like me when they laugh at my hundred and one jokes. i tend to make a lot of them and they are not really as funny as those guys make it out to be. it makes me awkward actually that they laugh that loudly.

    can you be like ... i like you and i would like to get to know you. in a different setting. is that really awkward?
    I am just going to Jerry Maguire the place tomorrow...
    Last edited by hermeticdancer; 10-28-2010 at 01:02 AM. Reason: Sp.

  8. #8
    Administrator highlander's Avatar
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    Just go ask him to go to lunch or something. If you initiate, he will reciprocate.

    Please provide feedback on my Nohari and Johari Window by clicking here: Nohari/Johari

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  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by hermeticdancer View Post
    but I guess I wasn't aggressive...
    That was probably a good thing. You don't want to catch him off guard with your advances, and INFJs tend to be very protective of their comfort zones. So I would suggest start small(as highlander suggested above) and move from there. And be a little patient too, cause it can sometimes take us a while to open up to people. Hope this helps.

  10. #10
    Senior Member hermeticdancer's Avatar
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    How do I walk into the office (unemployment office) and just happen to see him, and ask him out? he is a special benefit interviewer? I should add, we terminated our relationship yesterday, because I got a job... So I no longer need to see him.
    Basically he said If I have any questions or concerns to call him, (about work that is)... I don't think he meant personal...I have his card... do you see how this is formal, and awkward... it very much is... he is a formal guy... that's why I hesitate...

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