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  1. #31
    Senior Member hermeticdancer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by skylights View Post
    i have nothing smart to say, i just think this is adorable and wish you good luck
    thank you!

  2. #32
    Senior Member hermeticdancer's Avatar
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    Default I cant do it!

    I am having anxiety... it just doesn't feel right... I just can't seem to call... or do anything,,, I feel terrible.
    He is going to feel weird, and have to reject me, and ill feel stupid, I can picture it...

  3. #33
    Senior Member thescientist's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by hermeticdancer View Post
    I am having anxiety... it just doesn't feel right... I just can't seem to call... or do anything,,, I feel terrible.
    He is going to feel weird, and have to reject me, and ill feel stupid, I can picture it...
    Don't CALL him! Just do exactly what Satine said! Send him a Thank You note with your number! If he doesn't call then you'll know your answer and it won't be embarrassing or awkward. What have you got to lose?

  4. #34
    Senior Member hermeticdancer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by thescientist View Post
    Don't CALL him! Just do exactly what Satine said! Send him a Thank You note with your number! If he doesn't call then you'll know your answer and it won't be embarrassing or awkward. What have you got to lose?
    How am I supposed to send him a thank you note w/o anyone seeing, flowers? maybe in the movies...deliver it to the office? He could get fired. The people are really anal, and also, he seemed really uptight...during our last meeting and convo... I feel like I am some kind of deviant.
    You send the note...

  5. #35
    Senior Member thescientist's Avatar
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    Flowers are overkill. The note is just a cordial thank you for his help, and an "if you want to keep in touch or hang out some time here's my number". Satine put it much more eloquently.

    Is there an admin/front desk that can deliver him the note? Just put it in an envelope if youre worried about someone seeing it. I dunno...

    I know it's all easier said than done :/ I'd be terrified too. ha.

  6. #36
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    this thread is so cute! haha

    if it's rare for you to crush on someone like this...ya gotta do something...just send a thank you card...that's normal and appropriate...and do what satine said...except in your words...just let him know you'd be interested in seeing him in some light not overdone way...good luck! and ya gotta let us know what happened.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  7. #37
    Senior Member hermeticdancer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lady X View Post
    this thread is so cute! haha

    if it's rare for you to crush on someone like this...ya gotta do something...just send a thank you card...that's normal and appropriate...and do what satine said...except in your words...just let him know you'd be interested in seeing him in some light not overdone way...good luck! and ya gotta let us know what happened.
    Ya it is... I get a rapid heart rate just thinking about it... because I want it so much.

    I'm just not interested in anyone else, since I met him...he is the total package for me.

  8. #38
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    Ask a friend to help you if you're still feeling jittery. Your friend can help you ask the frontdesk/admin staff to pass the card to him, for you.

  9. #39
    Senior Member the state i am in's Avatar
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    time to process, a note that makes clear you're interested to help avoid the inevitable second-guessing, a kind of setting for a get-together that will be conducive to the situation and put him at ease (why coffee works)--these are all excellent pieces of advice.

    i feel so fucking awkward in these situations that i get more formal acting, but not a natural kind of formal, because i'm not really formal. i'm just trying to act like i'm supposed to more than normal and i'm pretty awful at it because i hate acting like i'm supposed to. i like letting down my guard, or just being free to wander into whatever spaces i find interesting and funny and aesthetically satisfying. i hate showing my intentions or desires before i know what to do with them, and i'm chronically indecisive so it tends to just make for a natural conservatism and kind of stiff attitude, kind of closed off, distant, etc. in situations that threaten me with potential embarassment. i can easily self-disclose when i am in control, but it's a million times more difficult to really risk feelings with someone else and to feel yourself losing control and watching this person capable of affecting you so dramatically and you knowing that you've relinquished so much of your intepretation of yourself and your imaginary world gets tested with the real world which is risky. also, watch amelie.

    i'd suggest listening to ilovelurking (who might as well be speaking for me as well) and domino (who i'm pretty sure would immediately be able to invade my space in a way that i wouldn't resent but instead begrudgingly enjoy).

  10. #40
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    Quote Originally Posted by the state i am in View Post
    i feel so fucking awkward in these situations that i get more formal acting, but not a natural kind of formal, because i'm not really formal. i'm just trying to act like i'm supposed to more than normal and i'm pretty awful at it because i hate acting like i'm supposed to. i like letting down my guard, or just being free to wander into whatever spaces i find interesting and funny and aesthetically satisfying. i hate showing my intentions or desires before i know what to do with them, and i'm chronically indecisive so it tends to just make for a natural conservatism and kind of stiff attitude, kind of closed off, distant, etc. in situations that threaten me with potential embarassment. i can easily self-disclose when i am in control, but it's a million times more difficult to really risk feelings with someone else and to feel yourself losing control and watching this person capable of affecting you so dramatically and you knowing that you've relinquished so much of your intepretation of yourself and your imaginary world gets tested with the real world which is risky. also, watch amelie.
    ^ That's what I do, too! Hahaha!

    And yes, I highly recommend watching Amelie, too.

    By the way, you don't have to drink coffee if you ask him out to have coffee. There are alternatives. INFJs love it when you're yourself like how ENFPs prefer people who are true to themselves.

    By my experience, my dates with my ENFP were very awkward. I felt that she could see right through me and I found it amusing when she told me that I was the one seeing right through her...hahaha! I do enjoy dates with her, by the way. Just that I froze...alot. He might do the same so go easy on both of yourselves. No need to beat yourself up if you think that you might had a bad date just because you felt all wobbly-knee and stuff. Right now, the one thing that you want to focus on is to keep seeing and keeping in touch with him.

    This is off-topic but I just got reminded if I'll be so nervous when I go visit her next year. Hahahaha!

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