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  1. #11
    Senior Member hermeticdancer's Avatar
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    I'm sad now. going to bed... I doubt ill actually do it... I'm too shy... the whole situation is ridiculous and he prob doesn't even like me.

  2. #12
    Sniffles
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    Paradoxically, INFJs often are "formal" in very informal ways - if that makes sense. When it comes to work and serious affairs, in my case at least, I do try to maintain a sense of serious professionalism, but that doesn't mean being uptight about things. I guess try to find a formal reason to get in contact with him and then in the course of talking to him, just throw something out in the more light-hearted moments of the conversation.

  3. #13
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    Don't give in to the fear, sugar! Think of what could be! Ask him out! "You! Me! Smelly onion fish tacos at high noon, stud!" and then don't give him a chance to object.

    ENFPs and INFJs are so cute together. I live with an ENFP sister who thinks they're the bee's knees.
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
    Neutral Good
    EII-Fi subtype, Ethical/Empath, Delta/Beta
    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
    Inquistive/Limbic
    AIS Holland code
    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  4. #14
    RETIRED CzeCze's Avatar
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    Perfect!

    Because if you were still working together some would say that is unethical for him to date you or openly show he is interested in you. Like, his boss or the county for instance.

    Now that your working relationship has been terminated, you can send him a 'thank you' like flowers or something with your cel. He will have to call to at least say thank you. Then you say, "I really enjoyed getting to know you over these last two months as you were helping me. And now that I'm no longer your client and our professional relationship is over, I would love to take you out for coffee and get to know each other as people."

    Or something like that.

    It can happen. The time window is now!

    That might be less awkward then physically showing up at his office and putting him on the spot.


    Quote Originally Posted by hermeticdancer View Post
    How do I walk into the office (unemployment office) and just happen to see him, and ask him out? he is a special benefit interviewer? I should add, we terminated our relationship yesterday, because I got a job... So I no longer need to see him.
    Basically he said If I have any questions or concerns to call him, (about work that is)... I don't think he meant personal...I have his card... do you see how this is formal, and awkward... it very much is... he is a formal guy... that's why I hesitate...
    “If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.” ― Oscar Wilde

    "I'm outtie 5000" ― Romulux

    Johari/Nohari

  5. #15
    Senior Member hermeticdancer's Avatar
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    I kind of get what you are saying... but I will need to talk to him about my job again, soon, I am sure, it is just strange to throw on, asking him out at the end of it. and I don't want to go to lunch even... I want to go to dinner, and know more about him... I have to do me... I guess is what I am saying. I don't even drink coffee... but I guess that is what people do? Heck I don't even eat lunch.

    p.s. Do I ask him to get in my car and drive him somewhere? Ohh I just thought of a place actually... that reminds me... (live in the middle of nowhere) I was wondering if you wanted to come buy groceries with me?

  6. #16
    Sniffles
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    Quote Originally Posted by Domino View Post
    Don't give in to the fear, sugar! Think of what could be! Ask him out! "You! Me! Smelly onion fish tacos at high noon, stud!" and then don't give him a chance to object.
    I don't know about other INFJs, but I strongly object to that!! I highly resent being backed into a corner.

  7. #17
    Senior Member hermeticdancer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Domino View Post
    Don't give in to the fear, sugar! Think of what could be! Ask him out! "You! Me! Smelly onion fish tacos at high noon, stud!" and then don't give him a chance to object.

    ENFPs and INFJs are so cute together. I live with an ENFP sister who thinks they're the bee's knees.
    Haaa...
    I love tacos!

  8. #18
    Senior Member hermeticdancer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CzeCze View Post
    Perfect!

    Because if you were still working together some would say that is unethical for him to date you or openly show he is interested in you. Like, his boss or the county for instance.

    Now that your working relationship has been terminated, you can send him a 'thank you' like flowers or something with your cel. He will have to call to at least say thank you. Then you say, "I really enjoyed getting to know you over these last two months as you were helping me. And now that I'm no longer your client and our professional relationship is over, I would love to take you out for coffee and get to know each other as people."

    Or something like that.

    It can happen. The time window is now!

    That might be less awkward then physically showing up at his office and putting him on the spot.


    hmmm... I like it.
    It puts the ball back in his court too.

  9. #19
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    hermeticdancer... Your post makes me giggle.

    This is exactly how my ENFP was and she's still sooo shy that her friends have to help her 'send messages' to me. (We are currently doing this long-distance, by the way. Long story but that's a story for another thread...)

    I agree with CzeCze's suggestions. My ENFP and I used to work together, and I had this professional 'front' that it was hard for her to break through. It got easier when we no longer work together. This is your chance! I would've loved it if she had told me she liked me even when we were colleagues!

    I also agree with Peguy about being backed into a corner...

  10. #20
    Peaced Quay's Avatar
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    I'm not a dude, but I appreciate straight-forwardness. ENFPs are very good at this, thus my ENFP husband.

    If you see him, ask him out...in my opinion anyway, but I'm a weird ass INFJ. The avoidance thing is something I have done (and still do) when I know someone likes me on any level, and I'm not sure how to reciprocate.

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