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  1. #11
    Undisciplined Starry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lady X View Post
    seems odd to me...enfps in my experience usually handle break ups well...in the sense that they would be happy for you and encourage you to move on...even being totally fine and cool being friends but i admit my sample size isn't that big.
    Great comment, as always X.

    I'm basically friends with every dude I have ever dated. There is one that got the 'ENFP doorslam'...but the rest of them are still in my life on some level. As they have changed...I've been happy for them...even during the time I held out hope we would be together again. But also...as ENFP...I can always 'catch glimpses of the whole'. In other words...no matter how much they change (and my P says bring-it)...I can always see them. They always are still the same to me.

  2. #12
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    eh, i dunno, maybe i'm not as good a person as you guys, but i've been kind of nasty without really meaning to in the past. it was due to jealousy and hurt because i wasn't over the other person and i didn't understand how they could move on so fast.

    i think it's hard to really judge the situation without really knowing how you broke up, etc., but if you broke up with him, i can see him just being sad and hurt and jealous, and not over you. if he's like me, then his antagonism is not as much about you being his perfect girl as much as it's about you both being good together and him being heartbroken and hurt that you can move on so (relatively) quickly and easily. like, the other person seems perfect and you don't understand what happened. so you try to see faults in them to protect yourself, but the fact is, you're still completely in love.

    Quote Originally Posted by FineLine
    Sounds like the guy was a control freak. Sounds like he wanted to freeze you in time and space (no more dating) even after he and you were over.
    yes to freezing, no to control freak. i don't think it's about control, because have you really ever met a consistently controlling ENFP? i think he's still in love with her and is having trouble letting go.

    Quote Originally Posted by StarryKnights
    But also...as ENFP...I can always 'catch glimpses of the whole'. In other words...no matter how much they change (and my P says bring-it)...I can always see them. They always are still the same to me.
    which ends up being part of the problem, really. i can still see myself with exes. i do think that the idealism is sort of a problem in that we can always see the best in people but we can't always grasp that things aren't going to work out between ourselves and others in practicality. it's a NeFi problem. too much seeing of future possibility and loving of the other person to easily let go, and then realizing you're hurting but not being able to deal with that because you won't let go of the possibility because you know it exists, and you won't let go of loving the other person because you believe in people's goodness deep down.

    well that hurts to admit

  3. #13
    Senior Member
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    I have to admit, i definetely idealize INTJ's. I have one friend, (same sex) who's one and i tend to see him as a perfect human being, that is, everything i want to be.
    On those rare occasions when he does something i don't like, i am far too horrified and upset by it. I'm not sure what it is about INTJ's that i find so awesome and baffling but i think it is clearly a flaw, and that being more grounded in my understanding of them would help me have a more fair view of them when they are 'imperfect'.

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