User Tag List

12 Last

Results 1 to 10 of 20

  1. #1
    Junior Member anarchos's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    4w5
    Posts
    11

    Default INFx & Loneliness

    To all the INFx out there - have you ever feel frustrated over the fact that you have such a world of ideas & passion within yourself, but somehow just unable to share it with the people around you, especially to the ones you sincerely care about?

    In your pursuit to be true to yourself as an individual, have you ever wish to be more 'normal', to conform & blend among the crowd?

    Have you ever tried just that (conforming), then feel completely off for pretending to be someone you're not, and ended up hating yourself for it?

    Just checking if there are fellow lonely wanderers out there... or is just me alone, after all.
    God is dead. Praise the Lord!

  2. #2
    Reptilian Snuggletron's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    10
    Posts
    2,233

    Default

    -I don't have a lot of ideas or passion at the moment, if I do it's usually not hard to share them with anyone.

    -No, I also feel pretty normal anyway. I'm not a type 4 though, I think, so that would make some sense.

    -Yeah, it's one of the reasons I like to avoid small talk with people I don't really know or go to strange places and expect myself to fit in perfectly. It just doesn't give much reward.

  3. #3
    Senior Member Eckhart's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    ???
    Socionics
    ????
    Posts
    1,097

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by anarchos View Post
    To all the INFx out there - have you ever feel frustrated over the fact that you have such a world of ideas & passion within yourself, but somehow just unable to share it with the people around you, especially to the ones you sincerely care about?
    Yes, sometimes.

    In your pursuit to be true to yourself as an individual, have you ever wish to be more 'normal', to conform & blend among the crowd?
    No, not really. On the other hand, I often wished people could treat me more normal. Most people treated me different than other people in some way, and I don't always know why.

    Have you ever tried just that (conforming), then feel completely off for pretending to be someone you're not, and ended up hating yourself for it?
    No, not really. I never were that conforming that I had to question my identity. Which was not always easy though. Instead I chose to close myself off to some big extent, building walls up, which is not much better though. Breaking up those walls now again is difficult, but all that lone time helped me making first steps, and I feel they are slowly crumbling.

    Just checking if there are fellow lonely wanderers out there... or is just me alone, after all.
    No, you are not. All in all I think I am also just that, and apparently there are other people here having similar issues. I don't know if I can do much about that, so all I can offer is giving some of my time listening

  4. #4
    Banned
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    6w5
    Posts
    3,278

    Default

    I was born alone and I will die alone.. the time in between is lonely even when I am not alone.

    And how apt is it that someone just sent me this quote??. Because it explains why, at least some of it..

    Loneliness does not come from having no people about one,
    but from being unable to communicate the things that
    seem important to oneself, or from holding certain views
    which others find inadmissible.
    - Carl Jung

  5. #5
    Senior Member Rebe's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    4sop
    Socionics
    IEE
    Posts
    1,505

    Default

    I find ways to transfer those ideas and passions into external revenues. There's no use in having passions or ideas if it can't be shown somehow, proven somehow, useful somehow. Ideas and passions can be transferred into writing, art, fashion, poetry, music, a desire to help others, a drive to succeed...etc. You know? Being ethical means acting ethical. Being passionate means acting passionate.

    A lot of people are lonely for various reasons. It's not a phenomenon that only INFX experience.

    It's not people's fault when they have no idea what you have bottled in because you never consistently reach out and try and try again.

    Learning how to externalize some thoughts, some ideas is very important.

  6. #6
    Junior Member anarchos's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    4w5
    Posts
    11

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Rebe View Post
    It's not people's fault when they have no idea what you have bottled in because you never consistently reach out and try and try again.

    Learning how to externalize some thoughts, some ideas is very important.
    That's exactly the problem. I've been trying to externalize my thoughts, through conversations & previously, blogging. People are just not interested or find it "too deep".

    Sometimes I wonder if I'm more of an ENFP seeking an audience, got disappointed chronically, & became a 'withdrawn' introverted. Most INFx I know don't seemed to have the need to "externalize" their thoughts (to borrow your words), or to share their views.
    God is dead. Praise the Lord!

  7. #7
    Member kccrush's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Posts
    54

    Default

    I disagree with INFx's not needing to externalize their thoughts. I think that externalization of our thoughts and feelings is the one thing that enables us to connect with others, which is what we find most fulfilling. You wouldn't see so many INFx's on this site if that wasn't the case

    I think that people are lonely during different parts of their lives and for different reasons, and most of those reasons stem from inside ourselves and how we're able to deal with things happening in the outside world. It's not just the people around you that are at fault. (I'm not sure if that's what you're trying to communicate, but it seemed a little like you were saying you want people to understand you....and you blame people for not getting you...)

    Sometimes you just need one person, and one person alone, to share a connection with. Do you have that, or are you seeking an army of people? I'd suggest starting out small and just find one special friend. After that you'll feel much less lonely.

  8. #8
    i love skylights's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    6w7 so/sx
    Socionics
    EII Ne
    Posts
    7,835

    Default

    it's not just you or INFx.

    i have a hard time figuring out what i think until i process it in writing or speech - like bouncing it off someone else. so i'm not really able to share what i feel/envision/dream all the time either. it usually takes me a bit of dumb blundering first, and that can be alienating if i say the wrong dumb things to certain people.

    Quote Originally Posted by kccrush
    I think that people are lonely during different parts of their lives and for different reasons

  9. #9
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    4w5 sp/sx
    Socionics
    IEI Ni
    Posts
    7,661

    Default

    have you ever feel frustrated over the fact that you have such a world of ideas & passion within yourself, but somehow just unable to share it with the people around you, especially to the ones you sincerely care about?
    I feel frustrated when I attempt to share these, but am not able to do so adequately. This does not make me feel lonely, so much as frustrated with myself. It spurs creativity though, and I appreciate that aspect of it. I do feel lonely when I manage to find a way to articulate my ideas/passion and no one seems to care. It's less about needing acknowledgment for coming up with them (as they aren't necessarily brilliant), as realizing that no one is really interested in connecting on that level. I need to share my inner world, definitely. Fortunately, at most points in my life, someone was interested, if I had the courage to share. It just has not always been the people I wanted to respond...

    In your pursuit to be true to yourself as an individual, have you ever wish to be more 'normal', to conform & blend among the crowd?

    I don't see myself as abnormal or strange, as I just do what makes sense to me (my sig is tongue in cheek ). I have wished that some people would not expect my way to be exactly as their own way. I've never wanted to blend in so much as be appreciated for who I am without having to put on a facade, and to connect over things I value. With age, I appreciate external standards more & don't necessarily see them as an obstacle to being myself, and I have found that asserting my individuality is appreciated by others. Only in those tender teen years do I think peer pressure is a problem; I rejected the pressure & really made myself an outcast as the solution. At the time, I did not see it that way though, but it was giving up.

    Have you ever tried just that (conforming), then feel completely off for pretending to be someone you're not, and ended up hating yourself for it?
    Yes....mainly I've done this on job interviews, by taking advice to dress & act & speak a certain way in order to impress. I've also done the "be yourself" bit, which doesn't work either. I'm not sure which is worse to be rejected for... I do feel best when I "stay true to myself" and all that cute stuff, but I don't think I am so special that I have to pretend to be something I am not to connect with others. The more I embrace who I am, I think the more others embrace it (aw, that's cute also).
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  10. #10
    Senior Member capslock's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    MBTI
    INFP
    Posts
    110

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by anarchos View Post
    To all the INFx out there - have you ever feel frustrated over the fact that you have such a world of ideas & passion within yourself, but somehow just unable to share it with the people around you, especially to the ones you sincerely care about?
    Yes, very much so. Especially with friends when I was younger and much more unfiltered in the way I expressd myself. It didn't always occur to me that my thoughts would actually be difficult (for some people) to comprehend. I sometimes went blue in the face trying to amplify my reasoning. So, unfortunately, as a result I filter my thoughts alot these days - it would be fantastic to be able to share the unfiltered version with more people though.
    I don't like the look/reaction of people who do not understand and I get tired of repeating myself or take my reasoning down a level or two. Thus, more often than not, I do reformulate my thoughts beforehand in my head so that they come out in a sensible way.
    It feels amazing when I make people understand my unfiltered thoughts and ideas.
    That still happens from time to time...
    So yes, it's still frustrating, who am I kidding. Especially regarding people that I
    sincerely care about.

    In your pursuit to be true to yourself as an individual, have you ever wish to be more 'normal', to conform & blend among the crowd?
    I have never wished to be normal (or more normal). Being more true to myself is a continuous quest of mine. Scary but rewarding. And slow. Sometimes it seems I was more true to myself when I was younger and not as aware, if that's possible.

    Have you ever tried just that (conforming), then feel completely off for pretending to be someone you're not, and ended up hating yourself for it?
    In my work it would seem I compromise my personality at times, but that has never been too much of a problem for me. If I would have chosen a different path, closer to my earlier interests, who knows... - I rationalise my current path with the fact that I'm still helping people.

    Just checking if there are fellow lonely wanderers out there... or is just me alone, after all.
    I am a lonely wanderer, but I rarely, if ever, feel alone.

Similar Threads

  1. Loneliness
    By Tayshaun in forum Myers-Briggs and Jungian Cognitive Functions
    Replies: 45
    Last Post: 04-03-2017, 02:42 PM
  2. [INTJ] INTJs - Do you suffer from a recurring sense of loneliness?
    By INTJMom in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 59
    Last Post: 03-11-2014, 10:31 AM
  3. INFx representations in television?
    By TenebrousReflection in forum Popular Culture and Type
    Replies: 14
    Last Post: 09-18-2009, 06:52 PM
  4. The classic: INFx or..?
    By sade in forum What's my Type?
    Replies: 32
    Last Post: 09-22-2008, 01:00 PM
  5. [MBTItm] A question for INFXs
    By Mycroft in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 54
    Last Post: 10-02-2007, 05:38 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO