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  1. #101
    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
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    I wonder if it is possible for people to be able to like those who are different in the degree to which they open up and communicate emotions or vulnerabilities. Or would people need to be more alike in that regards?
    Step into my metaphysical room of mirrors.
    Fear of reality creates myopic morality
    So I guess it means there is trouble until the robins come
    (from Blue Velvet)

  2. #102
    meh Salomé's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Synarch View Post
    I do think we are biased against people who do not "share", unfortunately.
    US society is biased in favour of carey-sharey extroverted feeleriness to quite a sickening degree. And tragically, US dominance has had a degrading influence on global appetites.
    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    Gosh, the world looks so small from up here on my high horse of menstruation.

  3. #103
    Post Human Post Qlip's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Salomé View Post
    US society is biased in favour of carey-sharey extroverted feeleriness to quite a sickening degree. And tragically, US dominance has had a degrading influence on global appetites.
    Eh, I disagree, but then, I live in the US. Maybe a large part of pop culture, but I wouldn't say that was the same as US society.

  4. #104
    Once Was Synarch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Salomé View Post
    US society is biased in favour of carey-sharey extroverted feeleriness to quite a sickening degree. And tragically, US dominance has had a degrading influence on global appetites.
    We have the most to fear from being real. I am curious how you know so much about the US not living there, however. It might at least give you a limited perspective to balance the good perspective you have as an outsider.
    "Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."

  5. #105
    Senior Member KDude's Avatar
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    I don't really volunteer that much information, but I open up within the context of sympathizing with people or using some anecdote from my life. The least I can do is say that I can relate or have been in the same boat. In all honesty, I'd feel guilty if I held something like that back, and tried to put myself in an untouchable position while helping them. Acting totally invulernable is seriously uncool.

  6. #106
    Once Was Synarch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by KDude View Post
    I don't really volunteer that much information, but I open up within the context of sympathizing with people or using some anecdote from my life. The least I can do is say that I can relate or have been in the same boat. In all honesty, I'd feel guilty if I held something like that back, and tried to put myself in an untouchable position. Acting totally invulernable is seriously uncool.
    That's a really good way of looking at it.
    "Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."

  7. #107
    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by KDude View Post
    I don't really volunteer that much information, but I open up within the context of sympathizing with people or using some anecdote from my life. The least I can do is say that I can relate or have been in the same boat. In all honesty, I'd feel guilty if I held something like that back, and tried to put myself in an untouchable position while helping them. Acting totally invulernable is seriously uncool.
    I agree that sincere kindnesses are a way to look at the person eye-level. Withholding in that context can be a way to act superior. It depends on context. A person who reveals something personal is risking a great deal. Sometimes they receive sympathy, but more often it is judgment and criticism. People are often afraid when they hear of some sort of suffering and need to establish that it cannot happen to them personally. The reaction of judgment is to somehow demonstrate that the person who experienced the hardship was responsible for its cause. Then the person judging feels safe again. Opening up to others potential fears requires a great deal of risk when done in an honest and sincere manner.

    There is a great deal of false expression in pop psychology. These tend to involve getting the person as worked up as possible for ratings, and then giving them platitudes and clique's about "never giving up", and "if you can dream it you can do it", etc.

    I think it is possible to look at a wide range of people, those who express emotions without much thought, those who analyze and discuss every feeling, those who keep personal things hidden, to those who minimize emotional responses inside them. Different communication styles can result in balance amongst groups of people as well as inside a person. Preferring one style does not require dismissing another approach.
    Step into my metaphysical room of mirrors.
    Fear of reality creates myopic morality
    So I guess it means there is trouble until the robins come
    (from Blue Velvet)

  8. #108
    meh Salomé's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Synarch View Post
    I am curious how you know so much about the US not living there, however. It might at least give you a limited perspective to balance the good perspective you have as an outsider.
    I was responding to your "We". One finds that too often Americans rarely consider that other perspectives exist/are equally valid. Occupying the centre of the universe, as they do.

    In answer to your curiosity, 1)It's difficult to avoid at least a passing acquaintance with US culture in the modern world 2) I have friends there 3) I lived there myself (briefly - I couldn't endure the banality for long).
    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    Gosh, the world looks so small from up here on my high horse of menstruation.

  9. #109
    meh Salomé's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Annwn View Post
    I wonder if it is possible for people to be able to like those who are different in the degree to which they open up and communicate emotions or vulnerabilities. Or would people need to be more alike in that regards?
    It's possible. I admire people who are self-contained, and I really admire people who take risks, emotionally speaking. Those are alternative expressions of courage. The only people I can't admire are those who lose their shit constantly or those who use expressions of suffering to manipulate others. Both those things are contemptible, in my view.
    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    Gosh, the world looks so small from up here on my high horse of menstruation.

  10. #110
    Once Was Synarch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Salomé View Post
    I was responding to your "We". One finds that too often Americans rarely consider that other perspectives exist/are equally valid. Occupying the centre of the universe, as they do.
    That's really more of a me problem than an American problem, at least in this instance. I'm horrible about assuming that the way I think is universally accepted. Working on it! In that vein, I appreciate you taking me to task.

    In answer to your curiosity, 1)It's difficult to avoid at least a passing acquaintance with US culture in the modern world 2) I have friends there 3) I lived there myself (briefly - I couldn't endure the banality for long).
    Interestingly, I have had a chance to see a bit of Europe now that I am here traveling and I must say that Europe is at least equally banal in some respects. Tourism has rendered parts of Europe completely insipid.
    "Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."

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