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  1. #61
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    awww...i've said this several times so sorry anybody who cares...but my dad was an enfp and my mom is infj...and they were SO cute together!!

    which really means very little if she's infp but thought i'd mention it anyway...haha

    and yeah...those are pretty cool and important things.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  2. #62
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    Besides the whole 'love at first sight', I would say that ability to connect without anything being done or said. To be comfortable with their presence without bias or judgement. To just 'feel' the attraction with no games or tricks, and that nothing they do will ever change that. So I would have to say in one word: Depth

  3. #63
    lab rat extraordinaire CrystalViolet's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by scantilyclad View Post
    I really like confidence, even arrogance.
    creativity is nice and sense of humor is a must.
    intelligence is probably the most important thing. i'm instantly attracted to someone who is smarter than myself.
    i also like quirks. i like people to be a little weird.
    When people are so perfectly normal it freaks me out.
    I could have written the above. Unfortantly, meeting some one smarter than me doesn't happen that often (I don't mean to sound arrogant). I also like a man who "keeps" me in my place, so to speak, not in a male chavunistic way.
    There is some thing quite sexy about a man, who stays his ground and isn't intimidated by me (which also happens rarely).
    Currently submerged under an avalanche of books and paper work. I may come back up for air from time to time.
    Real life awaits and she is a demanding mistress.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  4. #64
    Junior Member PurpleDusk's Avatar
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    What attracts me to a possible mate? To be honest, I don't really think I've been physically attracted to anyone. Having a good sense of humor is always good as well as being able to hold a stimulating conversation...(Eg, anything other than "how has your day been?"). However I also look for these things in potential friends so really, I can't say that I know what I look for in a mate at all.

  5. #65
    Shaman BlackCat's Avatar
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    Personality is the most attractive thing about someone. I get attracted when I see that they are open minded enough to talk with me, and then I get even more attracted when I see that I can grow from the person. Looks are about a 3/10 for me, personality 9/10.
    () 9w8-3w4-7w6 tritype.

    sCueI (primary Inquisition)

  6. #66
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kiddo View Post
    Granted, I was looking for the most attractive thing an NF would find in a potential mate.
    Character (including unconditional commitment to their vows.)

  7. #67
    Junior Member Anaita's Avatar
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    Initial attraction is almost purely intellectual. I love in depth conversation with intelligent and open minded people. I personally find them so rarely in my every day life.

    The qualities that facilitate transition into an actual relationship are numerous and quite a bit more involved.

    Occasionally I'll have a positive intuitive feeling about someone, and unexplainable attraction...never sexual, just friendly... that's always a good sign.

    Quote Originally Posted by Domino View Post
    You and me both.

    I sometimes feel pretty cursed by the NF thing because I don't just want, I require, an all-systems fusion. Add that to a weird peculiarity in my attractions plus my need to be sure of what I'm seeing (which entails some passage of time to get to know him better), and you have "alone forever" lurking at the end of the equation.
    I didn't realize this about myself until I met someone with whom this is seeming actually possible. I think I had a vague idea of, "oh wouldn't it be nice?" Had engaged in several relationships where I settled, but ultimately couldn't keep it up. I had an idea that it would never happen for me, I was being too picky.

    Then I had the most strange courtship experience... I made an intellectual connection with someone, a friendship that evolved into a months long extended interview between two strangely passionate persons.

    We were both in a relationship at the time, and not really particularly looking for anything else. When we began to compare notes, both admitting to settling with our current companions. It started with discussing that we both wanted to some day be married and raise a family, and what reasons we had for feeling apprehensions about our current companions. Then probing one another about values, proper ways to handle various situations, child rearing ideas, personal strengths and weaknesses, what kinds of things we would want out of our ideal partners, etc.

    So at first there was this very stimulating intellectual discourse attraction that could have been anything, then this objective realization that this person shares my aspirations, my values, my ideas about everything important and has certain aspects that bolster my weaknesses and I theirs, then we found we like all the same foods, all the same music, we had similar childhood experiences, and a difference in IQ of exactly 3 points... it was bizarre, it is bizarre. After that we figured we wanted to explore "us" and admitted that we were quickly developing feelings for one another. So we ended our relationships and decided to see what would happen.

    So far, the single most pleasant dating experience of my life. I'm stunned with how well we handle our issues, in other relationships it was this massive dramatic drawn out frustrating process...misunderstandings up to wazoo. We rarely have them, when we do it's usually caused by anxiety from previous relationships or experiences, we talk about it, we talk about what would help to fix or at least lessen the anxiety/problem, and those needs then get attended to right away.

    I guess... don't lose hope?

  8. #68
    Step into my office. Luv Deluxe's Avatar
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    An individual's personality ultimately dictates whether I'm able to feel much attraction at all. I must know something of who you are and what you do; looks alone are far from enough to catch my interest. I seem to develop feelings by accident, after I've become close enough to a friend to realize that his character appeals to me, romantically and sexually. It can be a slow process, but I find it to be a very organic, authentic one. There's usually a lot of sexual tension which, once acknowledged, explodes with massive amounts of...chemistry. Yeah, that's it.

    If I decide to do the relationship thing, I need somebody on the same wavelength as myself. My connection is very mental; I require an emotionally mature partner who is both intelligent and highly sensitive. I prefer creative, passionate people, ones with a myriad of interests and, perhaps, a certain something they excel at (whatever it may be). The more our interests and senses of humor coincide, the better. Typologically speaking, experience has taught me that I'm far better suited to an intuitive man as opposed to a sensing one.

    Physical appearances do play a role in facilitating some measure of sexual attraction - if, and only if, personality checks out. However, I don't really have certain attributes that I go for exclusively. If I am attracted to YOU, I don't care what your hair color is (for example). I've trended toward guys with dark hair in the past, I guess, and I've had a thing for the uniqueness of redheads. Nonetheless, I've been drawn to men of all hair colors, and am currently interested in a dirty blonde. I like trim or athletic physiques because it's often a sign that these individuals make an effort to take care of themselves. I appreciate little "imperfections" because I find them endearing and unique.
    AMERICAN TRASH
    Ni > Se > Fe > Ti
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    so SX it hurts
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    Chaotic Good

    ~ Gryffindor on the streets, Slytherin in the sheets ~

  9. #69
    Senior Member kyli_ryan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PurpleDusk View Post
    What attracts me to a possible mate? To be honest, I don't really think I've been physically attracted to anyone. Having a good sense of humor is always good as well as being able to hold a stimulating conversation...(Eg, anything other than "how has your day been?"). However I also look for these things in potential friends so really, I can't say that I know what I look for in a mate at all.
    I would kind of agree with this idea... I can't really tell what I look for in a mate. Even my current boyfriend, I couldn't honestly say that I was physically attracted to him the first time we met... It took me getting to know him before I figured out how attractive/compatible we were together.

    I think the most attractive qualities to me are within a man's character. I need someone who is kind and humble. He doesn't need to be a saint or anything, but I appreciate a guy who is dependable and who I can know what he is loyal to (hopefully his friends and family, and not just himself).

  10. #70
    Senior Member tibby's Avatar
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    Personality when it comes down to it. However I can't be attracted to looks only nor can I only be attracted to personality.

    What is attractive to me... Depth. Mystery.

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