This is my first post - messageboard etiquette dictates that I tell you immediately lest you all begin to cluck your tongues at my lack of "board knowledge"! Apologies for any faux pas.
Anyway, I've got some questions for you all. As the title of this thread suggests, I am an INFP. My girlfriend is an ENFJ. Although we get on really well, there are inevitable problems from time-to-time. Could any ENFJ ladies - or other suitably knowledgeable folk - give me some advice? I'm trying to figure out how best not to antagonise one another! I don't want to give a false impression to you - these are not "critical" issues. Nevertheless, some advice would be welcome. So, to begin...
- I am forgetful. She can tell me something three or four times and I won't remember. This is because, to me, it's unimportant. For example, she'll often tell me that she's going out with her friends on a certain day of the week; I inevitably forget and call her to see where she is on that day. She gets annoyed, somewhat justifaiably, since she is telling me the same thing over and over and yet I still forget. However, she can't understand that I don't mind if she goes out; if I ring her all she has to say is "I'm out this evening". I won't mind. I have other things to do!
How do I best negotiate this? I honestly cannot make myself remember what she tells me because it's so inconsequential that it doesn't even register to me.
- I am messy, but in an "unconvential" way. In fact, I am very neat in general and like things to be "in their place". However, when I look for something, my method could be described as being "frantic". I tend to search for something, find it (in a drawer, for example) and then leave the draw open with everything strewn about and go off to use the thing I was so fervently searching for. This drives her crazy.
- She worries about everything. Her worries, however, seem trivial to me because they are so...banal? She doesn't believe I worry at all; in fact, she laments the fact that I seem so "laid-back". She's wrong, of course! My worries are almost always wide-ranging. For example, she'll be worrying about how much we should spend in the first week in the month just in case it impacts on our ability to pay the rent in the fourth week of the month! Or she'll worry about how actions now might affect her life in 5 years time (career, for example). On the other hand, I'm busy worrying about existential matters...What is truth, what is justice, what do I actually want from life, why is it structured in this way, why is everything back-to-front! I don't know how to reconcile this.
- She always has to have the last word and always contorts the situation to misrepresent me! This is frustrating. Even if I have a legitimate point against her she'll whine and complain and make out like I'm being horribly unjust. Honestly, it's how I'd imagine a corrupt ruler would behave at his/her own impeachment!
That's about it right now...I'm sure other things will crop up.