I became very close with an ENFP woman once - we became best friends and it resulted in a lot of heartache when the feelings she developed were unrequited. And to be quite honest, I really miss our friendship - we got along that well! So in the end, both of us ended up feeling like we lost something.
Well, recently I met a girl who I quickly recognized as an ENFP. I invited her to hang out (this is off-the-charts rare for me to do), but specifically told her that I just think it would be fun to hang out - it's not a "date". I'm strictly interested in hanging out with someone with whom I know I can have some good conversations with and the shared Ne makes for a great time. Well, we went out and now I'm getting the 5-10 texts a day wondering what I'm up to and if she can come over (???), bring me cookies, etc. As much as I had a blast hanging out with her, I'm just not interested in all that stuff with her. It's difficult because as an INTP, I love picking her brain and having the deep, connecting conversations and I think that plays into her internal "soft spot", but I only say that based on experience with the previous ENFP.
ENFP's, how can I slow this train down and keep it going at a very slow and comfortable pace? I'd love to ease into a friendship with her - at an introverts pace, but I don't want her coming over and having to respond to all of these texts. Is she just excited about the new friendship or is this a sign that she's "idealizing me" already? If she is idealizing should I just pull away completely since I'm not interested in her a romantic way? I just want to keep it simple, innocent, and fun.
"This is not a date" is pretty blunt and straightforward, right? Do I need to have "the talk" very early in the friendship? Thoughts, comments, suggestions? I'd love to have her as a friend!