Eclare mentioned in another thread that INFJs tend to be either extremely subtle, or extremely blunt. Perhaps even too subtle, or too blunt.
I thought this was really interesting and it does jive with my own experience of myself in many cases. And, I think, with my experience of other friends who are probably INFJ.
Most of the time I'd err on the "too subtle" side of things - again, probably like many/most INFJs. I tiptoe around people because I want to avoid the pain and conflict, and keep everyone happy. They tread on my sense of well-being in one way or another and I smile and say it's no big deal. Quite likely it is no big deal the first few times. Then when it keeps happening, it gets to be a big deal...a bigger and bigger one. Something along the lines of "surely they must have seen that this pains me. How can they be so inconsiderate and oblivious of my feelings?" But actually, most people are not mind readers. They are not THAT discerning. Whatever I'm trying to get across is just too subtle. Then eventually it all mounts up - and out comes the "too blunt" sledgehammer and I spell things out in unpleasant detail.
I would really like to know what others (INFJ or other types) think about this and how you might try to work on this.