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  1. #11
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Scott N Denver View Post
    Scott's take on trying to rephrase the original posting:
    -INFP's and ENFP's are very much alike.
    -virtually everybody apparently likes ENFP's.
    -not many peopel apparently like INFP's.
    -as an analogy, ENFP's are like dogs, people like them and want one [or more] in their home with them
    -as an analogy, INFP's are more like pandas. dogs and pandas are both cute and likeable, but people LIVE with dogs [you know, like everyday, every time they come home], but people go to a zoo to see a panda [you know, like once in a while, and then they just look at the panda for a few minutes or so, and then move on to all the other animals one can look at at a zoo]
    -INFP's, while likeable, are best kept a t a distance and seen/interacted with once in a while???

    was that a good re-description of the first post?

    Scot's thoughts
    -remember that ENFP's are NeFi and INFp's are FiNe
    -people seem to enjoy being around Ne, its funny, quirky, interesting, fresh, exciting, insightful at times, and well just fu I guess
    -Fi is nice when you want personal therapy or emotional validation. On a practical level day to day for most people, Fi serves little other purpose or has little other value. ESPECIALLY for people you don't know very well [most social interactions in society are pretty shallow].
    -I think people liek ENFP's cuz they are E's and lead with Ne. Fi is secondary, and possibly far removed. So all the quirkiness, interesting, exciting, dynamic, etc is there, without all that pesky "lets talk about our feelings". Is there EVER a dull moment when an ENFP is around??? NO!!!
    -I think people don't like INFPs as much because were quieter, harder to figure out, harder to understand, who wants Fi around, and our Ne doesn't come out to play nearly as much. Many people may ask "Is there ever an exciting moment when an INFP is around?"

    So there you go, Scott's take on this all.
    Ah, yes, that does make sense.

    I used to have this feeling of being a "last resort" friend. Like, if there's no one else available, then I'd get a call. But still, people would sort of admire me (for lack of better description) from a distance, as I guess I can seem somewhat smart & independent & creative. I realized it was not so much that people did not like me, than that they were intimidated by me or thought I was disinterested, because there's that aloof aspect to me too. ENFPs, being Es, will usually seem warmer & yes, their personality is less hidden. I think the INFP demeanor only suits most people in a one-on-one situation, namely, a "therapy session". So you find people only calling you up when they need that some emotional support.... But that will only happen if you let it. Really, I don't find myself in that situation so much anymore, and it's because I've worked on being less withdrawn when I first meet people & filtering out the emotional vampires.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  2. #12
    Away with the fairies Southern Kross's Avatar
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    I don't know really.

    It seems to me that INFPs have the qualities people say they value and want to be around but in reality most find those qualities rather dull, if not unsexy. I also think part of the problem is just how much we hold back; it takes work to relate to us, whereas ENFPs are instantly charming. And people often equate our serene demeanour with dullness and lack of personality, which leads them to dismiss us entirely out of hand. I acknowledge this is partly our fault but, personally, I real hate this constant uphill battle to undo everyone's solidified first impressions of me.
    INFP 4w5 so/sp

    I've dreamt in my life dreams that have stayed with me ever after, and changed my ideas;
    they've gone through and through me, like wine through water, and altered the colour of my mind.

    - Emily Bronte

  3. #13
    Uniqueorn William K's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Southern Kross View Post
    I also think part of the problem is just how much we hold back; it takes work to relate to us, whereas ENFPs are instantly charming. And people often equate our serene demeanour with dullness and lack of personality, which leads them to dismiss us entirely out of hand.
    I agree with this. If we take the panda vs dog analogy, it's relatively easy to take care of a dog. You can find food for it in any pet store and you can take it to a vet if it becomes sick. You can't do that with a panda

    Plus the fact that I tend to get moody and cranky at times, and need a lot of alone time to recharge, most people will find it a real chore.
    4w5, Fi>Ne>Ti>Si>Ni>Fe>Te>Se, sp > so > sx

    appreciates being appreciated, conflicted over conflicts, afraid of being afraid, bad at being bad, predictably unpredictable, consistently inconsistent, remarkably unremarkable...

    I may not agree with what you are feeling, but I will defend to death your right to have a good cry over it

    The whole problem with the world is that fools & fanatics are always so certain of themselves, and wiser people so full of doubts. ~ Bertrand Russell

  4. #14
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Southern Kross View Post
    I don't know really.

    It seems to me that INFPs have the qualities people say they value and want to be around but in reality most find those qualities rather dull, if not unsexy. I also think part of the problem is just how much we hold back; it takes work to relate to us, whereas ENFPs are instantly charming. And people often equate our serene demeanour with dullness and lack of personality, which leads them to dismiss us entirely out of hand. I acknowledge this is partly our fault but, personally, I real hate this constant uphill battle to undo everyone's solidified first impressions of me.
    True.....the uphill battle part, definitely. It's very easy for me to slide into my comfort zone, and then I just come off aloof/dull again. Sometimes I just can't be bothered to care.....
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  5. #15
    Senior Member Synapse's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Southern Kross View Post
    I don't know really.

    It seems to me that INFPs have the qualities people say they value and want to be around but in reality most find those qualities rather dull, if not unsexy. I also think part of the problem is just how much we hold back; it takes work to relate to us, whereas ENFPs are instantly charming. And people often equate our serene demeanour with dullness and lack of personality, which leads them to dismiss us entirely out of hand. I acknowledge this is partly our fault but, personally, I real hate this constant uphill battle to undo everyone's solidified first impressions of me.
    Oh yeah, I hold back like a river. If I was completely unrestrained...

    <--- post count could very well be 5,000 at least!

  6. #16
    Senor Membrane
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    Quote Originally Posted by Southern Kross View Post
    It seems to me that INFPs have the qualities people say they value and want to be around but in reality most find those qualities rather dull, if not unsexy. I also think part of the problem is just how much we hold back; it takes work to relate to us, whereas ENFPs are instantly charming. And people often equate our serene demeanour with dullness and lack of personality, which leads them to dismiss us entirely out of hand. I acknowledge this is partly our fault but, personally, I real hate this constant uphill battle to undo everyone's solidified first impressions of me.
    And even if you let yourself go Ne-crazy sometimes, it doesn't necessarily mean that people will understand. It can seem out of character and might even scare some people who have come to see you as someone stable and quiet. These different sides may seem like they should be mutually exclusive... I guess that means that ENFPs are often seen as nothing more but the bubbling kinda thing.

  7. #17
    Senior Member Rebe's Avatar
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    I have met people who have loved me sincerely for me although I always feel like I have to hold myself back. It's not the values, it's all the crazy, dramatic energy I have in me, all the dramatic feelings that will go away when I find my next shiny object anyway. So I mellow myself out on purpose but sometimes I go into overdrive and be so giddy and it is freeing.

    Learning Fe and developing your Ne really helps, people. It's not that people dislike/dismiss you, it's because you don't do anything to reach out to them. It's shocking how people respond if you just extend a finger toward them. Really. A lot of people are douches, but even meaningless conversation with strangers throughout the day will make you feel less isolated and more normal. Don't be afraid to just talk.

  8. #18
    Was E.laur Laurie's Avatar
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    On the flip side, ENFPs aren't taken seriously in their natural state.

  9. #19
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    People don't like INFPs, because we suck. no really we do.
    In no likes experiment.

    that is all

    i dunno what else to say so

  10. #20
    Senor Membrane
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    I don't suck.

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