This is a good way of describing a healthy way of dealing with emotions, intense or not. It's worth going back and re-reading skylights whole post here.skylights: i'm really not a fan of hanging out in negative emotion. it had more to do with life being a bitch sometimes, but the realization that ignoring your problems (or... bulldozing them over?) isn't going to fix everything. if you're not careful, you'll just end up repressing and postponing pain.
So much gold in this thread; I just thought I'd point it out again.marmalade.sunrise Yeah people want love, affection, and acceptance. Goddamn them.
I think our culture isn't very emotion friendly. Many people are going through something big, and I mean BIG (deaths, responsibility for an elder family member, breaking up with an SO they moved to be with) but it's just below the surface. I don't know how many times people tell me, "you are SO TOGETHER, how do you do it?" and it's just because I am careful where I express my emotions. I think the reason I express this (perhaps excessive) caution is because of our culture and how unacceptable the full range of emotions is.
Exactly! What's harder than being in a low state? Feeling bad for being in a low state. And guess what? That idea will prolong being in the low state...OrangeAppled How do you know you really understand their emotional state? What if it is more complicated than it appears on the surface? What if they are trying out more solutions than you see? Often, we don't know the whole story behind a person's low state. Assuming we do simply trivializes their feelings & makes them feel worse. Now they don't just have the original issue to deal with, but the idea that they are wrong for feeling at all.