Felt that way a lot when I was younger. Not sure why, but oddly, a lot of it had to do with my hair. It was, and still is, super thick, and would just go all over the place. I always felt self-conscious about that. For some reason when I was little, it was especially disobedient after being washed and my sideburns would get out of control. My hair in general would constantly stick up, and I would put water on it to get it to go back down.
Once I became old enough to get my hair cut when I pleased, I started getting it cut really short. When I did that, it had a nicer texture and made my face look better. I gained confidence through this. I also started dressing better, though I didn't fully adopt that mentality until later undergraduate years, or even graduate school.
Physically, I always seemed to have fairly large biceps without having to lift to maintain them, but I have this problem that all of my excess fat goes into my belly. It can become a real problem if I'm not working out consistently. It looks bad, and feels equally bad. It's also dangerous as it can cause health problems.
When I was in puberty years, I was still kind of clueless about looks. I dressed bad, but thought it looked good for some reason I can't explain. As I matured, I somehow became clearer on what looked good and what didn't, thank God. So I felt better after that.
When it comes to looking good, we all have to learn what individually works for us. One thing I learned that hard way was no facial hair. People hate my facial hair! Whenever I let the hair on my face grow, guys and girls alike were turned off.
Also, I wear glasses as I am near-sighted, and I look better without them, but I can't for the life of me get contacts in my eyes, so I'm kind of stuck with it.
Sometimes I go through those days where I'm just like, "Man, I'm one handsome motherf*cker, how many women should I slay this week?" Then there's the days where I dread looking in the mirror. I'm tired, I haven't showered in 36 hours or longer, unsightly facial hair is growing all over my face and my hair is greasy and matted down. I just look like sh*t. I keep out of the public eye when I look like this though, or at least I try to.
I guess I'd rate myself an 8 or so...Maybe 8.5 on a good day even...Why not!! Of course that's not on the days I decide to have a free for all and look like crap but hey... I think highly of myself, but I don't think I'm excessively popular with women or anything. Much to my dismay, I'm never really been that way. Always kind of wanted to be when I was younger but it never really happened. I don't tend to attract a lot of women, but the ones I do attract are beautiful!!! I struggle to achieve long-lasting relationships though.
And sometimes people would find me attractive and I had no clue why! What were they seeing? But that's just me.
A hero is someone who does the right thing without expectation of reward, just because it's the right thing to do.
I believe I am unattractive, I don't think I can remember a time in my life when I haven't had that feeling about myself. In my family I was the odd looking one, didn't fit in according to them, and my looks and skin colour were always the fun things family would use to describe me. I guess all of that has just stuck.
I even remember the first time a guy tried to chat me up, he asked my sister to come over and tell me that he liked me, I was 14. I actually shouted at her and him, quite tearfully too, that it wasn't funny to make fun of someone, and that I knew what I looked like.
The same reaction cam winging its way out of me the time I was model scouted out and about in london. I literaly went nuts on the poor bloke, told him I wasn't stupid and he could take his fake offer and shove it.
I keep being told that this feeling will lessen with age, but at 34 I'm wondering where the hell the change is. :P
I try to believe men and friends that tell me otherwise, but its such a final feeling I doubt anyone could put a dent in it.