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  1. #61
    Senior Member batumi's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wandering View Post
    Unlike Sensors, they don't have a problem visualising the pattern I show them, but they don't understand what's so special about this particular pattern that I should hold it above the other possible patterns.
    Bingo. Thanks so much for that.

  2. #62
    Senior Member wedekit's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by batumi View Post
    The truth is that Ni inclines them to keep a part of themselves in reserve--to locate their true identity outside of the expectations and definitions of others. Unlike INTJs, however, their sense of the unexpressed is not impersonal and causal; it is intensely personal and oriented by emotional awareness. Their intuition takes them into psychological areas that other types are likely to keep at bay."

    I think this is absolutely true. And one of the things I really notice about
    myself is that I can take into myself the personhood of others. They share
    deep feelings with me and I absorb them and it's like there is a piece of them
    that becomes part of me.
    Then they seem to just move on at times and leave that piece with me,
    without really minding.
    So I think it is self-protection on my part to hold back. I hope this makes
    sense.
    Yes, I understand what you mean. When I listen to people's problems, it's like they are taking off a chunk they can't handle and passing it on to me to hold. When people are done confiding with me I always feel like I understand all people even more, so I usually don't mind.

    The "black box" part of myself that I hold back is where I place all the positive aspects of my life, as well as all my imagination and feelings. If am to help others I can't let their problems affect me in a negative way, so I think that the most logical solution is to hold back the parts of me that I wish to remain untouched. I have so many moments in my life that are burned into my heart that I share with no one, but it is still slightly mysterious to me why I choose not to share them. As I mentioned before, people often tell me that they feel like they don't know me even though they have for years. When I do share something personal with someone, they feel like they have met a whole new side of me when it has always been there.

    I feel like it is my job to be the confidant for others, though. I can listen to anyone with a problem sincerely without judging them on what they tell me. We're all human and we all make mistakes. It is natural to me to do this kind of thing, so I feel that it is also natural for me to use this "power" for good.

    Sometimes... it does become rough. I "counsel" numerous people with their problems, yet most of the time there is no one there to do the same for me.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    Enneagram 4w5 social

  3. #63
    ByMySword
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    That sounds like a good description of me!

  4. #64

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    Quote Originally Posted by wedekit View Post
    Sometimes... it does become rough. I "counsel" numerous people with their problems, yet most of the time there is no one there to do the same for me.
    sigh... aint that the truth... i bet most infj's feel this way - and perhaps other introverted feelers as well...
    "It is only in folk tales, children's stories, and the journals of intellectual opinion that power is used wisely and well to destroy evil. The real world teaches very different lessons, and it takes willful and dedicated ignorance to fail to perceive them."

    - Noam Chomsky

  5. #65
    Member ferrisbueller's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by intuitiveadrenalinejunkie View Post
    sigh... aint that the truth... i bet most infj's feel this way - and perhaps other introverted feelers as well...
    I'm going to humbly recommend finding an ENFP for this role. I've always loved being there to support the INFJ's in my life. You guys make us chase a little bit to give you that support, and ENFP's enjoy that chase. Just an idea.
    E-1% N-50% F-75% P-67%

  6. #66
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    Quote Originally Posted by ferrisbueller View Post
    I'm going to humbly recommend finding an ENFP for this role. I've always loved being there to support the INFJ's in my life. You guys make us chase a little bit to give you that support, and ENFP's enjoy that chase. Just an idea.
    It is important for INFJs to find someone who will be there for them in this way. At one time, I had an ENFP who filled the role for me. At another time, an ISFJ, and then an ENTP. Right now an INTP is doing the most superb job of all when it comes to listening and counseling and giving supportive feedback. Just saying--don't dispair if you don't have an ENFP!

  7. #67

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    In Please Understand Me, the INFJ description mentions that : The INFjs are also the most vulnerable of all types to the eruption of their own archtypal material. Do you think this is the underline reason that we hold our selves back? Or create an elaborate maze into get into our inner world? I often wonder what is it I'm really trying to hide from the world. But I feel like inside my mind and in my room there is this paradise that I can retreat to. However, if any one with bad intentions ever discovered it they could easily take a "bat" and just smash everything to pieces. And I would be destroyed. Even when I try to tap into these dark places in mind by journaling and being completely honest with myself it can be frightening. I usually end up not being able to sleep and having nightmares about never being deeply loved or understood. The dreams are very vivid and distressing. And also part of me holds back because I wonder what if I can take someone into this world? What if I show them everything that I am: all my hopes, ideals, fears, dreams, and intelligence but it still is not enough? What if after all of this they still betray me? Or its not enough for them? These are thoughts that make me want to keep my guard up.

    But what if on the other hand, I am enough. That I am really a great person and people see in me more than I ever saw in my self. I am something "special" but i wasted my life holding back.
    Introverted (I) 57.14% Extroverted (E) 42.86%
    Intuitive (N) 66.67% Sensing (S) 33.33%
    Feeling (F) 61.54% Thinking (T) 38.46%
    Judging (J) 51.22% Perceiving (P) 48.78%

    Your type is: INFJ

  8. #68
    Senior Member wedekit's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Desert Flower View Post
    In Please Understand Me, the INFJ description mentions that : The INFjs are also the most vulnerable of all types to the eruption of their own archtypal material. Do you think this is the underline reason that we hold our selves back? Or create an elaborate maze into get into our inner world? I often wonder what is it I'm really trying to hide from the world. But I feel like inside my mind and in my room there is this paradise that I can retreat to. However, if any one with bad intentions ever discovered it they could easily take a "bat" and just smash everything to pieces. And I would be destroyed. Even when I try to tap into these dark places in mind by journaling and being completely honest with myself it can be frightening. I usually end up not being able to sleep and having nightmares about never being deeply loved or understood. The dreams are very vivid and distressing. And also part of me holds back because I wonder what if I can take someone into this world? What if I show them everything that I am: all my hopes, ideals, fears, dreams, and intelligence but it still is not enough? What if after all of this they still betray me? Or its not enough for them? These are thoughts that make me want to keep my guard up.

    But what if on the other hand, I am enough. That I am really a great person and people see in me more than I ever saw in my self. I am something "special" but i wasted my life holding back.
    I live with the same kind of dilemma. I have this kind of fear of being rejected for what I am, so that definitely contributes to me holding back. Because of this, the main attribute I assign to my "ideal" love is someone who can understand all those things that I hold back and to unconditionally and uncritically understand. A soulmate?

    "The INFjs are also the most vulnerable of all types to the eruption of their own archetypal material." - I've never understood this quote or had anyone give me a solid explanation of it. If someone could clarify it for me that would be awesome.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    Enneagram 4w5 social

  9. #69

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    "Because of this, the main attribute I assign to my "ideal" love is someone who can understand all those things that I hold back and to unconditionally and uncritically understand. A soulmate?"



    Do you think it can mean that when we become completely disillusioned with the world that we start changing the way we use our functions? According to the book, all people have the same archetypes or instincts just the manner or order that we use them is different. So maybe it means we completely change our personality. Is that possible? I would think that doing that would lead to some type of mental break down.
    Introverted (I) 57.14% Extroverted (E) 42.86%
    Intuitive (N) 66.67% Sensing (S) 33.33%
    Feeling (F) 61.54% Thinking (T) 38.46%
    Judging (J) 51.22% Perceiving (P) 48.78%

    Your type is: INFJ

  10. #70
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    Quote Originally Posted by wedekit View Post
    "The INFjs are also the most vulnerable of all types to the eruption of their own archetypal material." - I've never understood this quote or had anyone give me a solid explanation of it. If someone could clarify it for me that would be awesome.
    I haven't read the thread; I'll just respond to this one point.

    In PUM II, Keirsey revised that passage to read: "Counselors [INFJs] make outstanding individual therapists who have a unique ability to get in touch with their patients' inner lives, though they are also the most vulnerable of all the types to the eruption of their own repressed thoughts and feelings.".

    I take that to meant that they get caught by surprise when their own Superego or Id aspect comes bubbling up to the surface under stress. (See the thread http://www.typologycentral.com/forum...super-ego.html ). I once saw an INFJ boss break into a rage and then almost instantly into tears and helplessness simply because one of his subordinates disagreed with him on how to handle a minor problem. (I assume the INFJ was severely stressed in his personal life, to have fallen apart so spectacularly and publicly over a minor problem.)

    Anyway, I'm no expert on INFJs. But INFJs seem so reserved and "together," that it may be a big point of shame for them when they lose it under stress.

    It also makes me doubt the practicability of such sentiments from an INFJ as "My soulmate should be able to understand everything about me." Frankly, I'm not sure even INFJs themselves really understand themselves all that well. They seem terribly caught by surprise and ashamed when their facade crumbles under stress.

    Hence, I tend to take the position that it's healthy for all types to recognize and integrate their lesser functions (and become well-rounded, whole individuals), rather than just try to cling to their Dominant (and try to live up to an ideal but incomplete image of themselves).

    Just my own opinion, of course. A controversial and not necessarily flattering opinion, I know.

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