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  1. #51
    Senior Member Forever_Jung's Avatar
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    Damn, I have the exact same problem as this girl. I am in my third year of university and I keep saying: This will be the year I get it together. I had a 2.0 these last two years, but luckily my transfer reset that! So this is supposed to be a fresh start, but already I find myself falling back into this pattern.

    No motivation. If the assignment is too small it seems pointless, if it's big it's insurmountable, because I can't just half-ass it, it has to be perfect. If Ne isn't inspired by a certain pattern or is working against Fi, he gets the shit beaten out of him by Fi-Si, because Te is such a feeble function for me. I need to develop stronger Te so he can back up Ne in his fight against the formidable Fi-Si double team.

    The problem is, when I am running on pure Te, and just kind of grinding through the project, the results are ugly, because the function is so weak. Which kills my motivation even more, because when I do something, I want it flawless, and I just can't do that with Te. So I guess you just have to keep suffering against all of the inertia and eventually it will get better.

  2. #52
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by highlander View Post
    Homework is a portion of the grade - like 20 or 30 percent in some classes. She's getting a very poor grade in English because she's not doing the homework. So that's worse. Discipline on getting work done has always been a problem though.
    INFPs are play before work types because unless something is deemed important, we have no reason to act. Discipline is not a strength - motivation HAS to come from an inner ideal. Homework is failing to connect to an ideal for her. She needs help seeing why this is important, and it cannot come in forms of grades or what someone else says is "important".

    Grades are an external measure - INFPs don't value things in this way. Points, grade letters, & other external systems of determining what is good & bad can often seem so flawed to us we don't bother to meet them. They've lost all meaning.

    For instance - we all know there are overachievers who do all of their homework & study hard & get good grades despite not being especially naturally smart. So their grades are a reflection of hard work, not grasping the concepts of the teachings necessarily. I know a lot of people who got As through doing tasks, but they had a poor understanding of what things actually mean. INFPs will see the point of homework being to learn the concepts, but if they already grasp them, then why do the homework? Just for some letter label which fails to accurately determine how well someone actually has learned a subject?

    Do you see how this line of thinking can go? She may especially be devaluing homework as a way to excuse herself from it - to avoid the anxiety her perfectionist tendencies cause. Of course, now she is reaping the consequences, but the bad habit is formed. To break it, she needs to adjust her perspective on all of these things, and she probably needs some help getting perspective right now. There's no magic trick - INFP have to alter their mindset before their behavior will be affected & that can take time.

    Also, positive reinforcement always works better with us than criticism or punishment; express confidence in our ability to do something, and all of a sudden, we see ourselves in that light & we do it.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  3. #53
    morose bourgeoisie
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    Quote Originally Posted by highlander View Post
    Des the following scenario help add color to the situation?
    - it's an INFP teenager
    - incredibly smart, creative, artistic, excellent writer, gifted; scores 95% or more on standardized tests; great at everything but math's not her favorite
    - perfectionist
    - has feelings of incompetence so doesn't do homework which doesn't get done which fuels more feelings of incompetence, etc.
    - it is a bit like performance anxiety combined with self esteem issues
    - is not into something bad like drugs, have friends who are a bad influence or anything like that

    Does that explain it better?
    Perfectionism combined with creativity is a formula for burn out and shutting down.
    My own perfectionism was largely driven by my father's lack of praise, so I tried all the harder, until the futility of that approach set in..then, dispair.
    I would urge her to explore the possibility that her perfectionism is counterproductive, and that all great work requires many, many attempts that were not as great, in order to arrive at that high plateau. Learning to accept mistakes is a difficult, but necessary step in raising one's level, whatever the endeavor.

  4. #54
    Junior Member Danbenyo's Avatar
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    Im not insecure im just confussed

  5. #55
    I drink your milkshake. Thessaly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Metaphor View Post
    If you consider the order of their cognitive functions, it's almost a given that there will be some downward spiralling.

    Fi>Ne>Si>Te
    Yes.
    With dreamers, pure and simple, the imagination remains a vaguely sketched inner affair. It is not embodied in any aesthetic or practical invention. Reverie is the equivalent of weak desires. Dreamers are the aboulics of the creative imagination.

  6. #56
    I drink your milkshake. Thessaly's Avatar
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    I think INFPs largely don't feel appropriate to life because the things we are best at don't seem to have much marketable value. We need practical help. I think that in and of itself is the cause.
    With dreamers, pure and simple, the imagination remains a vaguely sketched inner affair. It is not embodied in any aesthetic or practical invention. Reverie is the equivalent of weak desires. Dreamers are the aboulics of the creative imagination.

  7. #57
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    Hey, I'm new here, but I can totally relate to this.
    Quote Originally Posted by FireyPheonix View Post
    Hmmm....As a teenager, I used to beat myself up for not doing EVERYTHING, every little piece of work. It wasn't until I got to Uni, that I figured out no one else does either, they priortise, and focus on the important bits, the bits most likely to help them pass. She could be having an issue like that. This may have also had alot to with the fact that I never had to pick up a book really and study, until my last year of high school too.
    We can be kinda scattered brained, and lacking focus, combined with our ability just to soak up information, and we can rely a bit heavily on our natural abilities to pull us through, I mean seriously it's not every one who can leave writing an essay until the night before, and still get a decent mark for it. If it's a subject we love, you find we are much more willing to learn how to be disciplined, but focus isn't a strong point. I truthfully only mastered it in my final year at Uni, and I still have a dreadful decendency to read absolutely every thing on subjects that interest me, rather than working on mastery of the emphasised points.
    Everything that's bolded. It's incredibly stressful, since I feel the need to do everything, plus the tendency to put it off. I can't just make myself do it, I have to FEEL like it. If I don't, it won't be done. Maybe it's just procrastination, but either way, the result is a big giant heap of work that seems too daunting for me, and in turn I feel like a failure for not meeting my own standards. :/
    In the past, I got my work done, but I've been faltering. This again starts the cycle of failure.

    I still make the marks, somehow. Like you've stated, we have the ability can soak up information easily, but there's a lot of stress for me in between.
    I just want to get rid of that anxiety.

    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post
    INFPs are play before work types because unless something is deemed important, we have no reason to act. Discipline is not a strength - motivation HAS to come from an inner ideal. Homework is failing to connect to an ideal for her. She needs help seeing why this is important, and it cannot come in forms of grades or what someone else says is "important".

    Grades are an external measure - INFPs don't value things in this way. Points, grade letters, & other external systems of determining what is good & bad can often seem so flawed to us we don't bother to meet them. They've lost all meaning.

    For instance - we all know there are overachievers who do all of their homework & study hard & get good grades despite not being especially naturally smart. So their grades are a reflection of hard work, not grasping the concepts of the teachings necessarily. I know a lot of people who got As through doing tasks, but they had a poor understanding of what things actually mean. INFPs will see the point of homework being to learn the concepts, but if they already grasp them, then why do the homework? Just for some letter label which fails to accurately determine how well someone actually has learned a subject?

    Do you see how this line of thinking can go? She may especially be devaluing homework as a way to excuse herself from it - to avoid the anxiety her perfectionist tendencies cause. Of course, now she is reaping the consequences, but the bad habit is formed. To break it, she needs to adjust her perspective on all of these things, and she probably needs some help getting perspective right now. There's no magic trick - INFP have to alter their mindset before their behavior will be affected & that can take time.

    Also, positive reinforcement always works better with us than criticism or punishment; express confidence in our ability to do something, and all of a sudden, we see ourselves in that light & we do it.
    I'm seeing myself spiraling towards this path. It's even more excruciating because I'm torn between the feeling of not wanting to disappoint my parents, and the fact that it all this work is growing more and more pointless to me. There's no reason for it anymore.

  8. #58
    Senior Member tkae.'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post
    INFPs are play before work types because unless something is deemed important, we have no reason to act. Discipline is not a strength - motivation HAS to come from an inner ideal. Homework is failing to connect to an ideal for her. She needs help seeing why this is important, and it cannot come in forms of grades or what someone else says is "important".

    Grades are an external measure - INFPs don't value things in this way. Points, grade letters, & other external systems of determining what is good & bad can often seem so flawed to us we don't bother to meet them. They've lost all meaning.

    For instance - we all know there are overachievers who do all of their homework & study hard & get good grades despite not being especially naturally smart. So their grades are a reflection of hard work, not grasping the concepts of the teachings necessarily. I know a lot of people who got As through doing tasks, but they had a poor understanding of what things actually mean. INFPs will see the point of homework being to learn the concepts, but if they already grasp them, then why do the homework? Just for some letter label which fails to accurately determine how well someone actually has learned a subject?

    Do you see how this line of thinking can go? She may especially be devaluing homework as a way to excuse herself from it - to avoid the anxiety her perfectionist tendencies cause. Of course, now she is reaping the consequences, but the bad habit is formed. To break it, she needs to adjust her perspective on all of these things, and she probably needs some help getting perspective right now. There's no magic trick - INFP have to alter their mindset before their behavior will be affected & that can take time.

    Also, positive reinforcement always works better with us than criticism or punishment; express confidence in our ability to do something, and all of a sudden, we see ourselves in that light & we do it.
    I second this
    "Not knowing how near the truth is, we seek it far away." -Ekaku Hakuin
    http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b1...psdunkqmep.png
    5w4 . IEI . Chaotic Good
    Right-Libertarian Minarchist

  9. #59
    Reptilian Snuggletron's Avatar
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    I'll third what OrangeAppled said.

    criticism can help anyone but for an INFP they may be more inclined to have already criticized themselves. We are usually pretty accountable creatures. Positive reinforcement helps motivate us far more than merits or points. If people are encouraging me and I'm in a positive environment I tend to take off. We are sometimes very heavy in our ideas, if someone is there to help get those off of the ground instead of tread on them they are usually very much appreciated.

  10. #60
    Senior Member Rebe's Avatar
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    as an infp, i fooled around a lot when i should have been studying hard and achieving the goals i set for myself. high school and my first few years of college too. i was stuck on irrelevant, personal issues when i should have been utilizing my time. discipline is hard. i definitely spend a lot of time with my friends and would never say no until i had a test to study for. i have okay grades for someone who didn't apply 100% of themselves. when i do though, my work is excellent. it's very hard for me to sit down, be still and concentrate. my mind wanders to bad memories so i was always busy trying to keep those away and homework didn't help. for my history class, i did very well on all of my assignments only to fail my final because i couldn't bull-shit that last one. when we 'decide' to study, when we gather up the passion and motivation, we do extremely well, but that's the tricky part. i need some sort of external push to light up my internal motivation.

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