User Tag List

Results 1 to 10 of 10

Thread: wallowing

  1. #1
    Senior Member the state i am in's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    MBTI
    infj
    Enneagram
    5w4 sx/sp
    Posts
    2,460

    Default wallowing

    in your negative emotions/misery, etc.

    do you do it? do you have conditions when you allow yourself to do it and others when you don't? did you stop doing it at a certain age? do you gain anything from it?

    do you try to feel better and construct a strategy? how quickly does it take? does some negativity do you good?

  2. #2
    Senior Member Moiety's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    MBTI
    ISFJ
    Posts
    6,020

    Default

    If you wallow and your honest and objective with yourself it can be cathartic and you can get answers at the end.

    If you wallow and you lie to yourself and become too subjective in the analysis of your own thoughts and feelings you can literally turn ill.


    Negativity doesn't do any good on it's own. But objectivity can work miracles.

  3. #3
    Senior Member Tabula's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    MBTI
    IxFx
    Enneagram
    9w1 so/sx
    Posts
    307

    Default

    And doing this...

    Quote Originally Posted by Sytpg View Post
    If you wallow and you lie to yourself and become too subjective in the analysis of your own thoughts and feelings you can literally turn ill.
    ...when you THINK you're doing this:

    Quote Originally Posted by Sytpg View Post
    If you wallow and your honest and objective with yourself it can be cathartic and you can get answers at the end.
    is absolutely toxic.

  4. #4
    Banned
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    6w5
    Posts
    3,278

    Default

    I tend to let it wash over and engulf me.. But yeah, I always come out better for it.. Nothing teaches quite like pain.

    I don't bring it to work and school and stuff.. well not totally.
    Some days I guess people can tell.

    I don't think I will ever outgrow it. It's never absolute, or hasn't been yet.

  5. #5
    Senior Member Moiety's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    MBTI
    ISFJ
    Posts
    6,020

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Tabula View Post
    And doing this...



    ...when you THINK you're doing this:



    is absolutely toxic.
    Yes. I think the difference lies in knowing the difference between what you want and what you need.

  6. #6
    Senior Member Tabula's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    MBTI
    IxFx
    Enneagram
    9w1 so/sx
    Posts
    307

    Default

    ...And/or between what you want [to be] and what you are. That's been my experience, anyhow. Still, as yet, I've not managed to definitively separate the two.

  7. #7
    Senior Member mochajava's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Posts
    478

    Default

    The other thing to know about wallowing is that it ends. You can wallow, and then a few hours later, you'll be like, "oh, I guess it's over." So I don't think it can be really toxic. I'm thinking about the wallowing that involves TV, food, sleeping, relaxing, napping, laziness, novels... not the type that involves, like, heroin. That might be problematic? Anyway - after the wallowing is over - you can go on with strategizing or exercising or whatever it is you want to DO about the issue at hand.

  8. #8
    Senior Member Noon's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Posts
    806

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Arclight View Post
    Nothing teaches quite like pain.
    One of the most unpleasant truths

  9. #9
    Honor Thy Inferior Such Irony's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    MBTI
    INtp
    Enneagram
    5w6 sp/so
    Socionics
    LII Ne
    Posts
    5,091

    Default

    do you do it?

    sometimes

    do you have conditions when you allow yourself to do it and others when you don't?

    Mostly when I'm alone or with close family members if they can tolerate me in that state.

    I try to avoid doing it at work as that would affect my productivity and I also work with the public and don't want them to see me wallowing.

    did you stop doing it at a certain age?

    No. I still do it now and then.

    do you gain anything from it?

    Yes and no. I think denying your feelings and acting like everything is ok when it isn't is not a healthy approach. Eventually the feelings will find a way to bite you in the back. On the other hand, I don't think its healthy to wallow too long either. Best to talk to people who know will be supportive or do a hobby or something you enjoy to pull yourself out of the state.

    do you try to feel better and construct a strategy?

    I can't force myself to feel good. I just have to let the bad feelings pass. When in the wallowing state I do try to avoid things that will make me feel even worse then I already do.

    I construct strategies to avoid having the situation happen again or at least not have it happen as much (not always possible as there will always be disappointments, such is life), or to think about how to cope better the next time it happens

    how quickly does it take?

    It varies. It depends on what caused the wallowing state. Its been as short as a few minutes and as long as several days.

    does some negativity do you good?

    Just in small doses.
    INtp
    5w6 or 9w1 sp/so/sx, I think
    Ravenclaw/Hufflepuff
    Neutral Good
    LII-Ne




  10. #10
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    9w1
    Socionics
    INFj None
    Posts
    9,827

    Default

    I allow myself to wallow a bit when something bad happens. I pull myself back together before it starts screwing stuff up in my life. Part of loving and caring for myself involves allowing myself the time I need to process the bad emotions that come from sucky things happening. Another part is not letting the slack I cut myself make my life worse and creating a bad cycle.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

Similar Threads

  1. Let's wallow in Si
    By Ivy in forum The Bonfire
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 05-17-2013, 10:35 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO