[ENFJ] Dealing with bipolar ENFj

[jcloudz]

I know this person, he is a ENFJ and he is bipolar. and I tried cutting contact from him but some how he manages to come back into my life through people my friends. there are so many reasons i avoid this person. he has a tendency to pick at people`s issues by asking indirect questions, he then sits there with a smile staring at thier expressions on their face to see their response. its rather dark, I pointed out on one occasion when he was nosing through one of his "friends" personal life with questions. her husband was cheating and she was not ready to talk about it. he kept asking, do you think your husband would like this or that. you remember when your husband said that? why is your husband always so busy?
he always goes about testing people that way. this is where the creepiness comes out, i went out with a friends who is also in contact with him, we went to get some beer. I decided to step outside my area of comfort, intro myself to some new people, out of no where when i begin saying hi to someone and we hit it off, he comes in and centers attention on himself or tries to get me to go with him in a different direction. there is some control going on. he has the charm of getting into my life, through other people. when it comes to me meeting people, its become a pattern where he purposefully gets in the way. there is no intention of helping
anyway your thoughts and feed back on dealing with this person is welcomed

 

[nolla]

Why do the others want to hang out with him? Sounds like a creep. Does he has some control over your friends? If he doesn't, you could just straight up ask him what is the deal with that stuff the next time he does it. I don't know. Maybe he is just oblivious about social code.

 

[jcloudz]

Why do the others want to hang out with him? Sounds like a creep. Does he has some control over your friends? If he doesn't, you could just straight up ask him what is the deal with that stuff the next time he does it. I don't know. Maybe he is just oblivious about social code.

he lies and makes nice to smooth things over, he`s aware

 

[Arclight]

This is what confuses me.. He is a master manipulator and you say he is "aware"..
So me, When people don't like me or want me around.. I am all to happy to leave them be. Why would I waste energy with people who are not receptive?

So I can't understand this person's behavior as you describe it. I am pretty bi polar myself as well. Just check out my posts on here .. I go from warm and considerate to philosophical and helpful to preachy and jumpy.. and that is in one day.

Something doesn't make sense here.

 

[Thalassa]

Your complaints about him don't seem related to bipolar disorder. I think he might have some personality issues.

 

[nolla]

Something doesn't make sense here.

I agree.

 

[jcloudz]

Your complaints about him don't seem related to bipolar disorder. I think he might have some personality issues.

im thinking the same thing.

 

[skylights]

yeah. i know a couple of people who are bipolar (one who is always warm and very sweet, the other who was, the few ties i interacted with her, always icy cold), and they both have several other psychological issues in addition to bipolar. obviously, i have a great fondness for the first person, but the second person was very frustrating to me. i assisted her once with something for two hours, and when we were finally done, she told me that i was incompetent and stormed out of the room. so, i am not sure what to say about her.

i suppose it may be possible that this person has antisocial PD in addition to depressive disorder or borderline PD, and is misdiagnosed as bipolar due to the similarity of overlapping behavioral combinations. but then, perhaps not. out of curiosity, any idea why he's so attached to you in particular?

i'm sorry that i don't really have any great suggestions, but if things get really bad, assuming you are in the US, you can always ask to get a restraining order on the basis of harassment (or whatever the equivalent is in your country).

 

[jcloudz]

i think the reason is so interested in me, has something to do with an ex of mine, since they got together he has been intrusive.

 

[jdmn]

Is he diagnosed with this illness? I think you should directly confront him about not wanting to be his friend, and his manipulative ways of dealing with people. Confront him with proofs, like "I saw you doing this or that.., just to do this or that..", also "It's rude and unconfortable to ask such questions to your friends", or also tell him about this thing of your ex.

However, I think he will be very evasive and stubborn. He has an illness, which I'm not too sure about being bipolar disorder. Try to speak to their family and friends. I bet they are also aware of his manipulative behavior. Hope this helped.

 

[Vie]

My enfj friend is bipolar.

I room with her, but I wouldn't say she is much like your friend. She is just rather emotional at times and I don't understand how to help her. She can have the creepy ENFJ stare, but I just point out to her that she is being a creep, and she generally tries to stop.

Maybe just tell him straight up to his face that he is a bit odd, and you don't really appreciate it. If you must hang out with him, just avoid/ignore him while you are around him in groups.

 

[Lily flower]

I would just tell your friends that you don't want to hang out with this guy and explain why, and only go out with them when he isn't going to be part of the group.

 

[Thalassa]

Is he diagnosed with this illness? I think you should directly confront him about not wanting to be his friend, and his manipulative ways of dealing with people. Confront him with proofs, like "I saw you doing this or that.., just to do this or that..", also "It's rude and unconfortable to ask such questions to your friends", or also tell him about this thing of your ex.

However, I think he will be very evasive and stubborn. He has an illness, which I'm not too sure about being bipolar disorder. Try to speak to their family and friends. I bet they are also aware of his manipulative behavior. Hope this helped.

Yeah his behavior sounds like a personality disorder. It doesn't sound remotely related to bipolar.

 

[chris1207]

You know, if he does have a serious personality disorder, it's doubtful that it would be accurate to say that he tested as a certain type. I think that disorders complicate people a bit too much. I know a guy who has ADD and he's typed all sorts of F, ESF and NFJ being the most common.

 

[ENFJ7]

I know this person, he is a ENFJ and he is bipolar. and I tried cutting contact from him but some how he manages to come back into my life through people my friends. there are so many reasons i avoid this person. he has a tendency to pick at people`s issues by asking indirect questions, he then sits there with a smile staring at thier expressions on their face to see their response. its rather dark, I pointed out on one occasion when he was nosing through one of his "friends" personal life with questions. her husband was cheating and she was not ready to talk about it. he kept asking, do you think your husband would like this or that. you remember when your husband said that? why is your husband always so busy?
he always goes about testing people that way. this is where the creepiness comes out, i went out with a friends who is also in contact with him, we went to get some beer. I decided to step outside my area of comfort, intro myself to some new people, out of no where when i begin saying hi to someone and we hit it off, he comes in and centers attention on himself or tries to get me to go with him in a different direction. there is some control going on. he has the charm of getting into my life, through other people. when it comes to me meeting people, its become a pattern where he purposefully gets in the way. there is no intention of helping
anyway your thoughts and feed back on dealing with this person is welcomed

Someone enjoying messing with you is not a sign of bipolar. It's a sign of a messed up person. It's really rude to call someone "bipolar" as some weird slang. 6 million people suffer from this illness in the U.S. and 15% of them commit suicide. My best friend had it and she died last year. It's a serious illness.

Also, I am a manic-depressive ENFJ and I can't imagine doing any of these behaviors to someone. In fact, I think the suffering I've experienced being manic-depressive makes me even more sensitive and compassionate. Being manic-depressive just means that your moods/energy levels are more intense than the average person. Like when I'm hypomanic, I can sleep 3 hours and feel great, do many tasks in one day, and I feel very euphoric. When I'm depressed I sleep 10-16 hours a day, can barely get out of bed, and feel horrific. It is no indication of being a jerk. It's biological and genetic brain disease that disrupts the part of your brain which controls mood and energy. The end.

If you are going to insult an entire group of people, at least research which disorder fits first. Like antisocial personality disorder or something.

 

[Crescent Fresh]

Is he diagnosed with this illness? I think you should directly confront him about not wanting to be his friend, and his manipulative ways of dealing with people. Confront him with proofs, like "I saw you doing this or that.., just to do this or that..", also "It's rude and unconfortable to ask such questions to your friends", or also tell him about this thing of your ex.

However, I think he will be very evasive and stubborn. He has an illness, which I'm not too sure about being bipolar disorder. Try to speak to their family and friends. I bet they are also aware of his manipulative behavior. Hope this helped.

I smell extreme possessiveness of him based on your descriptions.

Although I have many sympathy to people who are suffering from any types of personality disorder (really, the saddest thing is that most of them don't even recognize this), I wouldn't invest (or waste) my time on people who are manipulative.

Be an ice queen, that usually works for me when dealing with people who I don't want them to be part of my life anymore.