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  1. #1
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    Default Dealing with bipolar ENFj

    I know this person, he is a ENFJ and he is bipolar. and I tried cutting contact from him but some how he manages to come back into my life through people my friends. there are so many reasons i avoid this person. he has a tendency to pick at people`s issues by asking indirect questions, he then sits there with a smile staring at thier expressions on their face to see their response. its rather dark, I pointed out on one occasion when he was nosing through one of his "friends" personal life with questions. her husband was cheating and she was not ready to talk about it. he kept asking, do you think your husband would like this or that. you remember when your husband said that? why is your husband always so busy?
    he always goes about testing people that way. this is where the creepiness comes out, i went out with a friends who is also in contact with him, we went to get some beer. I decided to step outside my area of comfort, intro myself to some new people, out of no where when i begin saying hi to someone and we hit it off, he comes in and centers attention on himself or tries to get me to go with him in a different direction. there is some control going on. he has the charm of getting into my life, through other people. when it comes to me meeting people, its become a pattern where he purposefully gets in the way. there is no intention of helping
    anyway your thoughts and feed back on dealing with this person is welcomed

  2. #2
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    Why do the others want to hang out with him? Sounds like a creep. Does he has some control over your friends? If he doesn't, you could just straight up ask him what is the deal with that stuff the next time he does it. I don't know. Maybe he is just oblivious about social code.

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by nolla View Post
    Why do the others want to hang out with him? Sounds like a creep. Does he has some control over your friends? If he doesn't, you could just straight up ask him what is the deal with that stuff the next time he does it. I don't know. Maybe he is just oblivious about social code.
    he lies and makes nice to smooth things over, he`s aware

  4. #4
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    This is what confuses me.. He is a master manipulator and you say he is "aware"..
    So me, When people don't like me or want me around.. I am all to happy to leave them be. Why would I waste energy with people who are not receptive?

    So I can't understand this person's behavior as you describe it. I am pretty bi polar myself as well. Just check out my posts on here .. I go from warm and considerate to philosophical and helpful to preachy and jumpy.. and that is in one day.

    Something doesn't make sense here.

  5. #5
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    Your complaints about him don't seem related to bipolar disorder. I think he might have some personality issues.

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by Arclight View Post
    Something doesn't make sense here.
    I agree.

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by marmalade.sunrise View Post
    Your complaints about him don't seem related to bipolar disorder. I think he might have some personality issues.
    im thinking the same thing.

  8. #8
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    yeah. i know a couple of people who are bipolar (one who is always warm and very sweet, the other who was, the few ties i interacted with her, always icy cold), and they both have several other psychological issues in addition to bipolar. obviously, i have a great fondness for the first person, but the second person was very frustrating to me. i assisted her once with something for two hours, and when we were finally done, she told me that i was incompetent and stormed out of the room. so, i am not sure what to say about her.

    i suppose it may be possible that this person has antisocial PD in addition to depressive disorder or borderline PD, and is misdiagnosed as bipolar due to the similarity of overlapping behavioral combinations. but then, perhaps not. out of curiosity, any idea why he's so attached to you in particular?

    i'm sorry that i don't really have any great suggestions, but if things get really bad, assuming you are in the US, you can always ask to get a restraining order on the basis of harassment (or whatever the equivalent is in your country).

  9. #9
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    i think the reason is so interested in me, has something to do with an ex of mine, since they got together he has been intrusive.

  10. #10
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    Is he diagnosed with this illness? I think you should directly confront him about not wanting to be his friend, and his manipulative ways of dealing with people. Confront him with proofs, like "I saw you doing this or that.., just to do this or that..", also "It's rude and unconfortable to ask such questions to your friends", or also tell him about this thing of your ex.

    However, I think he will be very evasive and stubborn. He has an illness, which I'm not too sure about being bipolar disorder. Try to speak to their family and friends. I bet they are also aware of his manipulative behavior. Hope this helped.

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