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  1. #31
    Senior Member ExAstrisSpes's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by copperfish17 View Post
    What exactly are you confused about? He obviously digs you, lots.
    I guess I am confused with how he wanted all this time to himself and now he wants to talk on the phone and spend all this time with me. It's jarring to adjust to.

  2. #32
    Senior Member Trentham's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ExAstrisSpes View Post
    I guess I am confused with how he wanted all this time to himself and now he wants to talk on the phone and spend all this time with me. It's jarring to adjust to.
    Heh, not confusing at all. He got his requisite Man Cave Time, which recharged his social batteries and sated his need for solitary Ti. Now he remembers how awesome being with you is, and wants to make up for lost time.

    /beentheredonethat
    83% I 70% N 64% T 73% P | 5w4 sp/so/sx | Chaotic Good

  3. #33
    Warflower Nijntje's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ExAstrisSpes View Post
    I guess I am confused with how he wanted all this time to himself and now he wants to talk on the phone and spend all this time with me. It's jarring to adjust to.
    Ahhhhh. i'm not sure why but i was under the impression you lived together, the separation would indeed make it harder to accurately gauge his feelings/thoughts/intentions.

    As someone who needs large quantities of time to themselves even when living with someone and always when in a relationship, just because the "alone" time is needed doesn't detract from the overall want to be with the significant other. I'm guessing he hasn't articulated any of this?

    And it's taken me YEARS to find a female i feel comfortable enough with to have snugglebunnies on the couch with, and i'm *meant* to be the touchy feel-ie type =)

    Terrible things happen to good people every day.
    Consequentially, I am not one of the good people.
    I am one of the terrible things.
    .



    Conclusion: Dinosaurs


  4. #34
    Senior Member ExAstrisSpes's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Trentham View Post
    Heh, not confusing at all. He got his requisite Man Cave Time, which recharged his social batteries and sated his need for solitary Ti. Now he remembers how awesome being with you is, and wants to make up for lost time.

    /beentheredonethat
    LOL. I'm glad it's so obvious to you!

    Quote Originally Posted by Nijntje View Post
    Ahhhhh. i'm not sure why but i was under the impression you lived together, the separation would indeed make it harder to accurately gauge his feelings/thoughts/intentions.

    As someone who needs large quantities of time to themselves even when living with someone and always when in a relationship, just because the "alone" time is needed doesn't detract from the overall want to be with the significant other. I'm guessing he hasn't articulated any of this?

    And it's taken me YEARS to find a female i feel comfortable enough with to have snugglebunnies on the couch with, and i'm *meant* to be the touchy feel-ie type =)
    Oh. No, we don't live together. We've come close to having some sort of "relationship" talk but never really had it.

    No, he hasn't articulated any of the relationship stuff to me. We've come close to having the relationship talk several times, but it always comes short and I don't want to force the issue.

  5. #35
    Senior Member Trentham's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ExAstrisSpes View Post
    No, he hasn't articulated any of the relationship stuff to me. We've come close to having the relationship talk several times, but it always comes short and I don't want to force the issue.
    INTPs don't like to state the obvious. We're also sometimes painfully unaware that something might not be as obvious to others as it is to us. In his mind, the two of you may already be in a relationship but he may not feel the need to verbally define it as such because to him it's "obvious" and self-evident.

    And yes, we're all that confusing to deal with.
    83% I 70% N 64% T 73% P | 5w4 sp/so/sx | Chaotic Good

  6. #36
    Senior Member ExAstrisSpes's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Trentham View Post
    INTPs don't like to state the obvious. We're also sometimes painfully unaware that something might not be as obvious to others as it is to us. In his mind, the two of you may already be in a relationship but he may not feel the need to verbally define it as such because to him it's "obvious" and self-evident.

    And yes, we're all that confusing to deal with.
    LOL! How am I supposed to magically know what's so obvious to him?

  7. #37
    Senior Member Trentham's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ExAstrisSpes View Post
    LOL! How am I supposed to magically know what's so obvious to him?
    Flex that Ne! (it's hiding in there somewhere ) Also, it doesn't hurt to come right out and ask, especially if you phrase the discussion in a non-confrontational manner.
    83% I 70% N 64% T 73% P | 5w4 sp/so/sx | Chaotic Good

  8. #38
    Senior Member ExAstrisSpes's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Trentham View Post
    Flex that Ne! (it's hiding in there somewhere ) Also, it doesn't hurt to come right out and ask, especially if you phrase the discussion in a non-confrontational manner.
    HAHAHAHAHA!

    The reason why I haven't blatantly brought it up was because he seemed uncomfortable whenever the conversation went that direction.

    The last time I told him I had feelings for him, he said, "How does that make you feel? Good, right?" Yet hasn't ever given up if he has feelings for me (which I suspect, but have no verbal confirmation).

  9. #39
    Senior Member Trentham's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ExAstrisSpes View Post
    The last time I told him I had feelings for him, he said, "How does that make you feel? Good, right?" Yet hasn't ever given up if he has feelings for me (which I suspect, but have no verbal confirmation).
    The fact that he asked such a pointed question about your feelings at least demonstrates that he cares about how you feel. That's a good sign! From my perspective it sounds as if he may just be uncomfortable verbalizing his emotional responses. Try to be patient and continue building that level of trust.
    83% I 70% N 64% T 73% P | 5w4 sp/so/sx | Chaotic Good

  10. #40
    Senior Member ExAstrisSpes's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Trentham View Post
    The fact that he asked such a pointed question about your feelings at least demonstrates that he cares about how you feel. That's a good sign! From my perspective it sounds as if he may just be uncomfortable verbalizing his emotional responses. Try to be patient and continue building that level of trust.

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