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[ENFJ] ENFJ Staring

H

Hate

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Yeah, I do this all the time. It's when I go into straight up Ni analysis mode. I'll usually stare as I'm waiting for my Ni to pick up on something. I've never been regarded as creepy though.
 

Synapse

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:yes: I'm rarely called out for it, but I usually observe or stare at the people I'm interacting with at the time. It's rare that I'm alone, so I focus my attention and analysis toward the conversation I'm having.
There have been times where I know I'm pensively staring at someone longer than is acceptable. If they look at me, I'll just smile and switch my focus on something else. I'm pretty blunt though, so I'd just inform them were I confronted.

I definitely stare at my friends a lot, but they are used to it. It's like I'm examining their actions and expressions. It's also probably why I'm ridiculously good at recalling and mimicking their mannerisms. :huh:

Yeah this sounds what I've experienced too.

Its your analysis coming though, your ENFJ nature needs to stare to get a better grasp of the person and situation, like a situational analysis of the emotional rational behind the facade of people watching like that. I noticed this too that it happens as a form of reaction attention analysis sometimes, trying to determine some kind of attributes and features of the person in your people skills kind of way possibly?
 

Unkindloving

Lungs & Lips Locked
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Yeah this sounds what I've experienced too.

Its your analysis coming though, your ENFJ nature needs to stare to get a better grasp of the person and situation, like a situational analysis of the emotional rational behind the facade of people watching like that. I noticed this too that it happens as a form of reaction attention analysis sometimes, trying to determine some kind of attributes and features of the person in your people skills kind of way possibly?

Mm indeed. That, and I want to point out something I noticed through my ISTJ arch nemesis. He would read me at times purely through body language, which is interesting. I'd say it appears that ENFJs are reading people through body language, but I wouldn't say it's our initial reading. Personally, I get a feeling about someone or within conversation, then I tap into the body language analysis to validate it.

:tongue: So perhaps beware if we're intent on staring you down. We may have made an analysis and are gauging it at that very moment. :cool: Creepsters, I tell ya.
 

self_aware

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My one enfp friend does this all the time. I'm used to it but I certainly notice how much it bothers other people. He does a bit of a "creepy" (popular word in this thread) half smile as he does it , and I've seen others point blank ask him "what, what do you want, why are you looking at me like that?"

I've pointed it out to him numerous times but he can't seem to help himself. I recall once saying to him, "you'd be despised in Japan", yeah it was a bit mean of me, but he laughed and said, "I'm despised everywhere I go."
 
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I always maintain eye contact with people I like, also with all my students. I suppose it can be quite intense as I always give them my full attention. But so far nobody has said it's creepy or that it makes them feel uncomfortable :)
I do look deeply into peoples eyes (and probably souls as well :)) but the only uncomfortable comments I get are along the lines of ' You've got such beautiful eyes' which totally derails my train of thought and ruins my concentration...:shrug:


People also say that I have a twinkle in my eye (like mischievous) :)

This!
 

lingerer

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Sigh, I hate you guys :)

There's a guy who I think is ENFJ who I have a big crush on at the moment. The last couple of weeks we've passed each other in hallways a lot, but always in the company of other people and busy rushing to some other place. He always says hi to me or says my name by way of greeting (something I find a bit strange), and usually gives me a big smile. I say hi and give him a big smile back. But the thing that gets me about him is the eye contact. It's like his eyes are glued to mine and he is looking straight into me. I really love it, and I wonder if I do the same back since obviously I know what he's doing and I feel like I really "feel" him when I am looking into his eyes. Argh, it really gets to me! I'm at the stage where I don't know what we might talk about verbally but we could probably talk through eyes alone. That would be so fun :D

But it sounds like this is just an ENFJ thing, the staring and the soul-poking. I'd like to think that our stare exchanges are a sign that maybe I can be hopeful about getting closer to him, but the stare appears to be part of the regular ENFJ MO.
 

Ulaes

loopy
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People also say that I have a twinkle in my eye (like mischievous) :)

i have never met an ENFJ that didn't have one. It's a huge give away when it comes to typing people.
 

Rationista

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I kind of have the opposite problem. When I'm staring at someone it's because I'm actually engaged with them, normally in conversation. However, sometimes my mind will drift off in the middle of a conversation, but I still somehow manage to maintain eye contact. I get yanked out of my reverie when prompted for a response which is usually nervous laughter. Then I just come across as some laughing idiot. I don't know what's worse. Creepy or moron.
 

flameskull95

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Jun 21, 2009
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We INFPs just start to think we have a problem with ourselves, - no negativity on behalf of ENFJs though. So stare on... 0-0

At least it's better than being awakened from a daydream to see someone's hideous face glare at you, - 'cause you've apparently been looking at their ass the whole time.
 

Amargith

Hotel California
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I have an ex who was either ESTP or ENFJ.. The se and fe were incredibly high on that man. And he turned me to mush...as he did to all the girls around him and he knew it. He had the most amazing dark eyes to stare into. I saw him first looking at me from across the dance floor. Repeatedly. He didn't take long to come over either. But he'd also go back to greet and meet other people....still kept making eye-contact though. I was 15 at the time and I remember at one point dancing with him while making eyecontact....suddenly we were three songs along. Add to that a voice made of smooth velvety sounds and a girl didnt' stand a chance :doh:

He just about taught me everything I use as a base for flirting...including that eye-contact. It's breathtakingly soul-piercing.
 

Ulaes

loopy
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He just about taught me everything I use as a base for flirting...including that eye-contact. It's breathtakingly soul-piercing.

you're obligated now to share your notes.
 

Amargith

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Nah, you're better getting this info from the source, trust me :wink: *points at Pitseleh*
 

iwakar

crush the fences
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Interesting. I think my ex-boss was an ENTJ and I had this experience with her. I can laser-gaze with the best of 'em, but she'd stare straight into my face and keep it up for ages seconds, but it felt like forever.

"Why are you boring a hole into my head woman?! It's a simple question. Do you want chicken or beef tacos???"
 
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