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Thread: NF take on the quarter-life-crisis process

  1. #21
    Senior Member Array Scott N Denver's Avatar
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    Apr 2009


    Quote Originally Posted by HeatherC View Post
    The books on the subject delve a lot deeper into the process (expectations, and self-analysis) but for short simple reasons here is a wikipedia page on it. I guess this topic wouldn't make sense if you aren't familiar with the concept already. So check this out if you want: Quarter-life crisis - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

    Here is part of that page:

    Characteristics of quarter-life crisis may include:

    * realizing that the pursuits of one's peers are useless
    * confronting their own mortality
    * watching time slowly take its toll on their parents, only to realize they are next
    * insecurity regarding the fact that their actions are meaningless
    * insecurity concerning ability to love themselves, let alone another person
    * insecurity regarding present accomplishments
    * re-evaluation of close interpersonal relationships
    * lack of friendships or romantic relationships, sexual frustration, and involuntary celibacy
    * disappointment with one's job
    * nostalgia for university, college, high school or elementary school life
    * tendency to hold stronger opinions
    * boredom with social interactions
    * loss of closeness to high school and college friends
    * financially-rooted stress (overwhelming college loans, unanticipatedly high cost of living, etc.)
    * loneliness, depression and suicidal tendencies
    * desire to have children
    * a sense that everyone is, somehow, doing better than oneself
    * frustration with social skills

    These unsettling emotions and insecurities are not uncommon at this age, nor at any age in adult life. In the context of the quarter-life crisis, however, they occur shortly after a young person – usually an educated professional, in this context – enters the "real world".[1] After entering adult life and coming to terms with its responsibilities, some individuals find themselves experiencing career stagnation or extreme insecurity. The individual often realizes the real world is tougher, more competitive and less forgiving than she imagined.

    A related problem is simply that many college graduates do not achieve a desirable standard of living after graduation. They often end up living in low-income apartments with roommates instead of having an income high enough to support themselves. Substandard living conditions, combined with menial or repetitive work at their jobs create a great amount of frustration, anxiety and anger. Nobody wants to admit to feeling like a 'loser'; this secrecy may intensify the problem.

    As the emotional ups-and-downs of adolescence and college life subside, many affected by quarter-life crisis experience a "graying" of emotion.
    I'll start by saying that haven't read all of your quoted stuff above.

    I remember reading/skimming parts of several QLC books and, basically, thought they were "trash for people who had never thought for themselves in their life." In a "I've always just cruised through life and did what people around me were doing, but now, now *people want me to think for myself, AND make my own decisions* 'gasp' Man, who am I, and what do I want out of life??? I don't know!!! OMG this is SOOOOOO hard. Why won't someone just tell me what to do!!!!!!"

    Wow, that sounded harsh to say. I think there are a number of, very legitimate, life(re-)assessments, and that people need to take some compass bearing on who they are and what they are about and what they want to do in life. To call such things a "crisis" is, I think, a bit overblown.

    But yes, there are clearly a number of changes, and re-orientations, going on at or around this stage in life.

  2. #22
    i love Array skylights's Avatar
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    Jul 2010
    6w7 so/sx
    EII Ne


    i feel like my usual mental state encompasses most of those questions/feelings... and at crisis points it's less that i have them, and more that i'm stuck at a crossroads.

    Quote Originally Posted by nolla View Post
    Except for me it started a bit earlier. It is like you are dropped into the real world and it's a blast. Everything was actually a lot more cruel than you thought, and you turn it around in your head and try to cope, and eventually you get better at it, it's like the shock waves of the blast are diminishing. But still, there is something there that doesn't seem to go away, you see the world is built on wrong premises, and there is no one to fix it. And what do I do with that...?
    yeah... well and for me it was like my path has been laid out for me since i was 5: elementary school; middle school; high school; college.

    and now... suddenly i have to start making the choices. and i honestly don't know how. i know lots of things that i like, but i'm not sure exactly what i want to do with my life. i know i want to get a higher degree, but i'm not sure what in. i need to make a lot of money simply due to my tastes (yeah, i'm kind of superficial, sorry, i just like fast cars and speedboats and fancy restaurants too much) but i want to do something that helps people and to which i can adapt fairly well. for right now i'm a little bogged down because i'm between jobs, which has gotten boring and frustrating, because i don't want to do anything that requires money but i have lots of free time.

    oh well. i think once i get employed again, it'll help me get back on track. i just need to get moving in a direction.

  3. #23
    Banned Array
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    Aug 2010
    6w7 sp/so


    Although I haven't experienced any quarter-life crises yet, the threat of one is looming sometime in the near future for me. Luckily I still live at home (I'm 21 btw), I'm almost done community college, and I'm hoping of finding a job soon. But eventually (sometime in the next couple years) I want to move out and live on my own, and I'm not sure if that goal will ever be entirely possible. With the way that the economy and social structure is set up I have this haunting feeling that I'll be forced to live like many other twenty-somethings; having to work an ungrateful minimum wage job while being forced to live with friends in an apartment or rental house just to make ends meet. And that's not the kind of live I invisioned for myself.

  4. #24
    Senior Member Array Lily flower's Avatar
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    Jun 2010


    Quote Originally Posted by HeatherC View Post

    So all of a sudden on your own you can define your existence, joys, and internal beliefs without repercussions.
    It is freeing to be able to think how you want, but having some life experience, I would say that there are always repercussions to beliefs. How you believe determines how you live and there are always consequences, both very good and very bad to how you choose to live.

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