[MBTI General] Shallowness in xNFPs...

[phoenix13]

How might "shallowness" come across to someone else? How is it defined?

How/ when might an xNFP be considered shallow?

Just wondering. Your thoughts, please?

Shallowness means not deep. Ne isn't a "deep" thought process, it's more "broad." For the most part, xNFPs are broad/horizontal thinkers that skim the surface for the "gist" of things without looking deeper into why and how that is (unless the topic is human nature in which case Fi digs in).

Also, (for ENFPs in particular) our spontaneous lust for life and fun sometimes resembles that of a stereotypical "shallow" ditz who lives in the moment without a thought of consequence or meaning or anything. That definition of shallow implies a lack of thought altogether, rather than whether or not the thought is "deep".

 

[TheEmeraldCanopy]

Thank you for the responses so far, everyone.

I think shallowness for me would be when I put too much emphasis on small and insignificant things (that at the time seem like huge, crucial, blindingly painful things) and less emphasis on seeing what's actually important. I can become dramatic and very subjective.

 

[redacted]

How might "shallowness" come across to someone else? How is it defined?

How/ when might an xNFP be considered shallow?

Just wondering. Your thoughts, please?

My girlfriend is an INFP and basically has two parallel-running personality narratives. I don't think the "social one" is necessarily shallow, but she's more focused on telling jokes, making people laugh, being a good host, etc. Her other narrative is deeper and 21874192847239874x more idealistic -- it's a lot less obvious, too. But that's where her poetry and writing come from; it's the most "talented" and "true" part of her.

I don't think her social narrative is any less her, though. It's what she truly wants to do in a lot of situations.

 

[Vamp]

I've never been outwardly accused of being shallow but I've been considered shallow by the more stodgy types. If that makes sense, I think that's where everyone in this thread is coming from.

I can relate to every post in this thread. Especially when someone said that not picking a position and sticking with that position forever can be interpreted as shallow. I like to explore every position and never side with anything or anyone until I see it for myself; that has caused my mother and the rest of my family to think less of my judgment, because they tend to be bandwagoneers; if one person they like said it's "this way", they'll believe it.

I've been considered shallow because I care about my appearance and can get depressed if I'm not allowed to care about my appearance. Because I apply makeup ...really, any silly little thing.

And when you smile a lot and are generally a cheery person in public everyone assumes you have no cares and have no depth. It's really strange.

Or if you can't do simple things and be greatly attentive then you get a negative label.

Really, it just adds to my overwhelming feelings of being misunderstood, even by those closest to me. It's sad to see so many other people experiencing the same thing.

 

[caboose]

I don't really get accused of being shallow. I have been accused of not caring about a project or something similar because I don't pay attention to details as much as I should though.

 

[copperfish17]

I used to think xNFP's were shallow because they were (back then, in my eyes) unstable in terms of their emotions. Feelings were so fleeting and volatile with many xNFP's I've personally known in my life that after a while I started to doubt the depth and genuineness of their feelings. I couldn't understand how one can claim to feel strongly about something when one can change one's stance on that something in a heartbeat (exaggeration, of course).

Now I understand that the xNFP's emotional instability (at least in part) comes from being able to look at things from many POV's - a trait I hold in very high regard. Admittedly, it took a while for me to understand and appreciate this. Learning, I suppose.

Hope you found that useful.

 

[You]

Never been called shallow, but I have been in past and will be in the future if the situation calls for it.

 

[OrangeAppled]

I've never been accused of being shallow (though I have been in the past at times in regards to dating) In fact most of my life I've been accused of being too deep by sensors. I don't really see the shallow NFP connection that others see.

I haven't either, but I suspect some people form that as a first impression. Once they get past the girly girl exterior they don't seem to view me that way. Once they get me talking, they REALLY don't see me that way. I then get accused of being too serious, too "deep", too "dark", too "heavy", etc. I'm terrible at pleasant, silly joking that is all about enjoying the moment. Social situation are hard for me because of this - I have trouble even showing interest in these kinds of conversations, forget participating. Even when I banter it often has some other level - I'm hinting at some darker truth (self-deprecation is so common in INFP humor ). If I can't relate something to something else which has meaning for me, then I have little interest in it...

 

[Rebe]

I used to think xNFP's were shallow because they were (back then, in my eyes) unstable in terms of their emotions. Feelings were so fleeting and volatile with many xNFP's I've personally known in my life that after a while I started to doubt the depth and genuineness of their feelings. I couldn't understand how one can claim to feel strongly about something when one can change one's stance on that something in a heartbeat (exaggeration, of course).

Now I understand that the xNFP's emotional instability (at least in part) comes from being able to look at things from many POV's - a trait I hold in very high regard. Admittedly, it took a while for me to understand and appreciate this. Learning, I suppose.

Hope you found that useful.

Thank you. I feel better about my instability after your post. When I feel for someone, I go above and beyond and that kind of passion can't be sustained for too long without encouragement. So if I am not allowed to express those strong feelings, I need to let go right away, drop it like a hot potato or completely change my POV or do something crazy to distract myself. I think others can sustain their emotions longer and remain genuine and stable because it is not as intense and does not make them feel so violent and vulnerable.

 

[Synapse]

I could be shallow if people insisted.

Generally though I get distracted a lot and what would seem like a long time is a short time and the disparity would be then people assume I hardly pay enough attention when the opposite is true. I am paying too much attention that its taking far too long to process and in that reaction moment there is hardly much I can do about it. In that respect I am hardly shallow in the sense of the word and none have need mention of it yet.