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  1. #11
    Senior Member Chloe's Avatar
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    nah. he was lots of things but not shallow

  2. #12
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by boondocked View Post
    Good post. I'd second everything here and also add that:

    * I've been mistaken for a ditz many times because common sense escapes me. For some reason, people have mistaken this flightiness, this bird-brainedness as shallowness. Like, 'if she can't keep her attention on even the most basic things, how could she keep her attention on the bigger things.' I dunno. It's weird. Maybe other xNFPs have had this experience too?

    * For my ENFP self and a few of my INFP friends, beauty matters. I suppose it's because we tend towards the ideal, and beauty is ideal? Now, I don't think we understand the whole trendy clothes/shoes thing, but a lot of us are very into personal adornment. I could see how that would read as shallow.
    I particularly relate to the second one. I idealize beauty & see value in aesthetics, and I suppose my interest & efforts in that area may seem shallow to some. It may even be in danger of becoming outright shallow at times...

    I can also seem "spacey". Combined with the attention to aesthetics, and it can make people think you're a bit of an airhead. I always find this amusing though, because I'm so terribly bookish.

    Another way I see some INFPs being "shallow" is over-identifying with their interests & tastes (ie. taste in music). It's an elitist attitude that basically judges other people with rather frivolous criteria. It's because the INFP has begun to associate their tastes with who they are, just as they consider their feeling-values a part of their identity. <---- and yeah, I've been guilty of that.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  3. #13
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    I don't know if people view me as shallow often (could be -- I can be clueless), but some of what boondocked and others wrote rings true for me:

    * Beauty/aesthetics are really really important to me. Not so much with people and not necessarily in a "traditional" sense, but with my environment, the items I interact with daily, need to be beautiful. Sometimes, a new brooch IS a reason to get up in the morning.

    * There is very little that I'm not (passionately) interested in in some way. I have a tendency towards way too much jack-of-all-tradesness and end up with shallow or random knowledge (and even more questions/theories) in a lot of subjects.

    * If I'm being candid, as with very close friends, I can pass random and seemingly shallow judgment about others' choices (for example, single occupancy vehicles). Usually this just reflects an overwhelming frustration with apathy. Sometimes, however, I have bizarre criteria for making or narrowing or explaining choices (sorry--couldn't date him because he is against the serial comma). It's usually to keep indecision at bay, but sometimes becomes shorthand for a whole host of things that are harder/more sensitive for me to articulate (his attitude towards the serial comma was a part of an overall apathy towards the world outside his narrow interests).

    * I don't really have a ton of stick-to-it-ness when it comes to things/goals. People, yes. But goals are guidelines and circumstances change and I'm not really one for finishing things completely anyhow. This might read as being flighty/shallow?

  4. #14
    Uniqueorn William K's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by thinkling View Post
    * I don't really have a ton of stick-to-it-ness when it comes to things/goals. People, yes. But goals are guidelines and circumstances change and I'm not really one for finishing things completely anyhow. This might read as being flighty/shallow?
    Yeah, I also tend to have a "Why plan when things change constantly?" attitude and this can be interpreted as too flighty or not ambitious enough. Just because I'm laid-back most of the time doesn't mean I don't have a big idealistic goal. I'm just not as gung-ho in a single-minded way toward achieving it.
    4w5, Fi>Ne>Ti>Si>Ni>Fe>Te>Se, sp > so > sx

    appreciates being appreciated, conflicted over conflicts, afraid of being afraid, bad at being bad, predictably unpredictable, consistently inconsistent, remarkably unremarkable...

    I may not agree with what you are feeling, but I will defend to death your right to have a good cry over it

    The whole problem with the world is that fools & fanatics are always so certain of themselves, and wiser people so full of doubts. ~ Bertrand Russell

  5. #15
    I drink your milkshake. Thessaly's Avatar
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    NPs can be a bit too hasty to end relations and cut people out of their lives. We're impulsive and not solid long term thinkers when it comes to processing those judgment calls.

    I think this is pretty much where our shallowness lies. In our impulsive behaviors and randomness. We're scatterbrainz.
    With dreamers, pure and simple, the imagination remains a vaguely sketched inner affair. It is not embodied in any aesthetic or practical invention. Reverie is the equivalent of weak desires. Dreamers are the aboulics of the creative imagination.

  6. #16
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by boondocked View Post
    * For some reason, people have mistaken this flightiness, this bird-brainedness as shallowness. Like, 'if she can't keep her attention on even the most basic things, how could she keep her attention on the bigger things.' I dunno. It's weird. Maybe other xNFPs have had this experience too?
    yes. i can understand relativity just fine but god damn if i didn't lose my car keys for the 4th time this week.

    beauty matters. I suppose it's because we tend towards the ideal, and beauty is ideal? Now, I don't think we understand the whole trendy clothes/shoes thing, but a lot of us are very into personal adornment. I could see how that would read as shallow.
    me too! i can also be very quick to judge on aesthetics, which runs contradictory to most other realms of my life, where i am quite open about things. but man, aesthetics. that is one area where i know exactly what i'm doing.

    Quote Originally Posted by William K View Post
    Just because I'm laid-back most of the time doesn't mean I don't have a big idealistic goal. I'm just not as gung-ho in a single-minded way toward achieving it.
    right, exactly. and sometimes you see these amazing J plans get a little hole in them and J people FREAK OUT. and you're just like, hold up, chill out, i got this. which is why a P and a J make a great team, of course.

    Quote Originally Posted by Thessaly View Post
    NPs can be a bit too hasty to end relations and cut people out of their lives.
    i actually really don't do this. am i odd NFP out here?

  7. #17
    Senior Member Chloe's Avatar
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    ^^^I dont do it either. I could have stockholm syndrome, actually. Loyal as fuck

  8. #18
    Senor Membrane
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    Quote Originally Posted by William K View Post
    Yeah, I also tend to have a "Why plan when things change constantly?" attitude and this can be interpreted as too flighty or not ambitious enough. Just because I'm laid-back most of the time doesn't mean I don't have a big idealistic goal. I'm just not as gung-ho in a single-minded way toward achieving it.
    This is definitely a big one for me. I think people probably think I have no idea where I am going, since I can't draw a map there.

    Quote Originally Posted by Thessaly View Post
    NPs can be a bit too hasty to end relations and cut people out of their lives. We're impulsive and not solid long term thinkers when it comes to processing those judgment calls.

    I think this is pretty much where our shallowness lies. In our impulsive behaviors and randomness. We're scatterbrainz.
    Sometimes I do that. It's not random, but how am I to explain it to anyone..? Usually it just feels like I have to get rid of extra weight. Sounds cruel...

  9. #19
    Senior Member angelhair45's Avatar
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    I've never been accused of being shallow (though I have been in the past at times in regards to dating) In fact most of my life I've been accused of being too deep by sensors. I don't really see the shallow NFP connection that others see.
    http://bohemianextrovert.wordpress.com/
    Please excuse the long drawn out ramble above.
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  10. #20
    Senior Member animenagai's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by angelhair45 View Post
    I've never been accused of being shallow (
    Me neither

    I've been called stupid, dipsy etc. but never shallow. I do make dirty jokes all the time though, so maybe people think it and just choose to not say anything. They are only jokes of course and don't mean anything. I tend to think that other people are shallow myself rather than the other way round. This happens even if we're talking about the most conceptual topics. I often think people oversimplify a problem.
    Chimera of Filth

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    My throbbing heart it gnawed apart
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