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  1. #1
    Senior Member Noon's Avatar
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    Default Difference Between INFPs and ISFPs

    Why exactly are these types so different? I think I notice it a lot, but I still can't figure out why.

    I've recently began speaking more closely with an INFP (well I have typed her so, although it's not been self-confirmed) and she seems less aimless, less cautious, more outspoken, more quick to stand up for her rights, much less flexible in her sense of self, and not as visibly sensitive (yet still crazy understanding and willing to forgive easily). Overall, she seems much more sure of herself. I only learned about how much things like criticism and disapproval really affect her when she self-disclosed it during discussions, and I was very surprised. At times we seem worlds apart, although we still connect to each other through our outlook on the world (in terms of Feeling) and things we hope to accomplish in life, and that is always an energizing experience. I feel understood. Unlike with the IFJs I know, there are rarely any complaints about the discussion not going beyond a personal level.

    On a totally different note, I have a good friend who is ISFP, almost a complete turn around from the INFP above, and we get on extremely well. About the only glaring differences are that she is far more optimistic and pleasant. We are both more confrontation avoidant, more apt to tolerate a problem longer before we fix it, more vague about our opinions, and we both show our sensitivity more. The differences between ourselves and the INFP can be so pronounced that it makes me wonder if both I and she are actually ISFJs (even though there are many factors that simply do not fit) rather than Fi types.

    However, these kinds of differences tend to be reinforced by online descriptions. Is it that Se-Ni and Ne-Si really do make that big of a difference, or have I simply mistyped the first girl?

  2. #2
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    It makes a difference, and enneagram plays a big role. You & your ISFP friend sound like 9s to me, and the INFP sounds like a 4 or 5.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

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  3. #3
    Senior Member Noon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post
    It makes a difference, and enneagram plays a big role. You & your ISFP friend sound like 9s to me, and the INFP sounds like a 4 or 5.
    I was afraid so...

    I can't seem to trust that system much but it's feeling more and more like I only get half of the story without it.

    On the other hand, it is interesting to see the difference between 4 type feeling and 9 type feeling in action. The ISFP is a self-confirmed 9, but I have no idea what I am. At least now I know as best as I can that I am definitely not a 4, though.

    edit: Where does the difference caused by functions/temperament end (or where does the difference caused by enneagram begin)?
    Is there anywhere that explains it well that I should go to to read about it? Sorry to be a pain.

  4. #4
    Senor Membrane
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    Quote Originally Posted by Noon View Post
    I've recently began speaking more closely with an INFP (well I have typed her so, although it's not been self-confirmed) and she seems less aimless, less cautious, more outspoken, more quick to stand up for her rights, much less flexible in her sense of self, and not as visibly sensitive (yet still crazy understanding and willing to forgive easily). Overall, she seems much more sure of herself. I only learned about how much things like criticism and disapproval really affect her when she self-disclosed it during discussions, and I was very surprised. At times we seem worlds apart, although we still connect to each other through our outlook on the world (in terms of Feeling) and things we hope to accomplish in life, and that is always an energizing experience. I feel understood. Unlike with the IFJs I know, there are rarely any complaints about the discussion not going beyond a personal level.
    It is an interesting question. I haven't really paid attention to it, though I should have... I see a lot more in common with INFJs and ENFPs, or even with an ENFJ, than with an ISFP. It is strange. Either there is a bigger difference between these types, or I am valuing N more than S. I don't know, honestly.

    The ISFP I know seems usually very shut... I've lived with him in the same commune, so I basically get him, but still... he is a lot more introverted than I am. Still, there is something there that makes it somehow comfortable... even if he isn't saying anything, it still seems like it's ok. There are people who think he's an asshole for keeping to himself in certain situations, but I kinda think they are missing the point. He is being an asshole by keeping quiet in a situation where people are waiting for a response. This is not all his fault. I can see that part of it is, but still, it isn't like he is deliberately rude. He's just somehow unable to reply. It's strange.

    The things we usually talk about are some design stuff. He is like a god when he's animating stuff, and I'm sure he trusts my sense of graphic design, so, the couple of collaborations we've had were pretty awesome. If we're not talking about this, then I usually kinda adapt to his territory, which is his interest in history and other cultures. The style of communication may differ, but I think it's still somehow very interesting since he is quite knowledgeable in that stuff, so I often get some new stuff to look up.

    I don't know... It's really strange that I can't see myself being him. I know my N is very high according to these online tests, but I don't really trust them too much, so I find it weird that I can see myself being any NF type instead of being an ISFP...

  5. #5
    Intriguing.... Quinlan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nolla View Post
    . This is not all his fault. I can see that part of it is, but still, it isn't like he is deliberately rude. He's just somehow unable to reply. It's strange.
    Stop describing me!
    Act your age not your enneagram number.

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  6. #6
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    Tell me, what is the deal with that? I know it is causing a lot trouble to my friend so, I would be kinda interested in knowing where it comes from... You wouldn't know how angry some people can get with someone who doesn't answer a question...

  7. #7
    Intriguing.... Quinlan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nolla View Post
    Tell me, what is the deal with that?
    Act your age not your enneagram number.

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  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by Quinlan View Post
    ?

  9. #9
    Intriguing.... Quinlan's Avatar
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    Hah just kidding!

    I wish I knew myself, I'm basically socially awkward all round. Sometimes I have this urge that no response at all is better than the wrong response. It's not like I ignore questions completely but I often just answer the question in it's most basic way and offer no elaboration, I have no idea why.
    Act your age not your enneagram number.

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  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by Quinlan View Post
    Sometimes I have this urge that no response at all is better than the wrong response. It's not like I ignore questions completely but I often just answer the question in it's most basic way and offer no elaboration, I have no idea why.
    Hah! You know, this friend of mine did exactly that. No response at all. He was just eating a sandwich. And it was a straight question, something about some practical matter, like, "when do you think this thing could be ready". The question was repeated a couple of times, even... And, whew, the stuff I hear about this one incident... my SJ friend still keeps talking about it...

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