User Tag List

First 12

Results 11 to 20 of 20

  1. #11
    4x9 cascadeco's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Enneagram
    4 so/sp
    Posts
    6,931

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by KDude View Post
    Of course, but if it becomes a pattern, it's due to heavy introversion. If someone isn't moving towards the auxiliary, and needs to go their other introverted function as a rule with people, it's not productive. Ni-Ti - at the risk of sounding silly, it's as simple as looking at the two "I's" there. Same with Fi-Si, Fi-Ni, Ni-Fi, etc.. I do it myself, and it's cool for awhile, but damn.. we all need to connect somehow.
    Sure, connecting is one thing.. but feeling the same emotion the other person is feeling? I've never really understood that. I feel my own emotions, other people feel theirs, my own emotions might be influenced by the other person, but to feel just what the other is feeling? I can't really wrap my head around it. I'm a distinct person from them, and might feel/think quite differently about something from what they feel/think.
    "...On and on and on and on he strode, far out over the sands, singing wildly to the sea, crying to greet the advent of the life that had cried to him." - James Joyce

    My Photography and Watercolor Fine Art Prints!!! Cascade Colors Fine Art Prints
    https://docs.google.com/uc?export=do...Gd5N3NZZE52QjQ

  2. #12
    Senior Member KDude's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Posts
    8,263

    Default

    I can half of the time. Or at least, it's something like noticing an element that approximates my own experiences or POV, and might set off an actual identification with their emotions. I can do that with fictional characters too, for that matter.

    I guess it's another subject though.

  3. #13
    4x9 cascadeco's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Enneagram
    4 so/sp
    Posts
    6,931

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by KDude View Post
    I can half of the time. Or at least, it's something like noticing an element that approximates my own experiences or POV, and might set off an actual identification with their emotions. I can do that with fictional characters too, for that matter.

    I guess it's another subject though.
    For me, intellectually understanding why they feel what they feel, and seeing their pov, is what I might do... but that's separate imo from my actually *feeling* it, like viscerally or something.
    "...On and on and on and on he strode, far out over the sands, singing wildly to the sea, crying to greet the advent of the life that had cried to him." - James Joyce

    My Photography and Watercolor Fine Art Prints!!! Cascade Colors Fine Art Prints
    https://docs.google.com/uc?export=do...Gd5N3NZZE52QjQ

  4. #14
    Senior Member KDude's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Posts
    8,263

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by cascadeco View Post
    For me, intellectually understanding why they feel what they feel, and seeing their pov, is what I might do... but that's separate imo from my actually *feeling* it, like viscerally or something.
    I do feel it viscerally, but like I said, not all of the time. I'd probably go insane if that happened. Sometimes it's intellectual too, and I somewhat "cerebrally" choose to communicate in a sensitive manner. I don't think it's all that conscious, but it works like that sometimes, I guess. Or I come up with a thought that might get them over their trouble, and say "Hey, maybe if you did this.." Or just listen. I'm not much of a "I told you so" type though. Life is more complicated. If we can say anything about Ni, it sees that (and in that complication is where I might find myself feeling something too). If I disengage my sympathy or understanding, it's for people that are bringing others down..Not someone's personal problems.

  5. #15
    Senior Member mochajava's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Posts
    478

    Default

    One of my friends noticed this tendency in me, and I'd like to share the way she put it into words: "I know that you mirror moods." I thought that was a very helpful way to say it.

  6. #16
    Junior Member stellachiara's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    1w9
    Socionics
    INFj
    Posts
    19

    Default

    I haven't read the whole thread, so I may repeating something already said, but I think some INFJs feel so strongly inside ourselves that we sometimes harden ourselves to other people's feelings, kind of in self-defense against over-empathizing, or feeling responsible for "fixing" them.

  7. #17
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Posts
    270

    Default

    I don't have a problem with empathizing. I can always sympathize with a person...

    ...unless I think they are overdoing it. If someone caused their own problem, or if someone is making a big deal over something that isn't, I start being just annoyed at the person instead. To an INFP I knew, I could come off as very cold and uncaring. Is it such a bad thing to refuse to empathize with someone over every little stupid superfluous thing?

    [/rant]

  8. #18
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Posts
    270

    Default

    I didn't mention this part of INFJ empathy in my post, but I agree with stellachiara wholeheartedly.

    Quote Originally Posted by stellachiara View Post
    I think some INFJs feel so strongly inside ourselves that we sometimes harden ourselves to other people's feelings, kind of in self-defense against over-empathizing, or feeling responsible for "fixing" them.
    Self-defense against over-empathizing and feeling responsible for fixing them--sooo true.

    When I am being self-defensive (instead of just plain being annoyed like I described in my above post), I counteract the over-empathy by being indifferent, so that I don't have to feel the person's feelings, feel guilty that I don't have their problem, and feel like that if I can't help them then I'm useless. Always, though, as the denied over-empathy rises, so does the indifference and it turns into hate. Eventually, both the over-empathy and the hate reach their limit and explode.

    Having empathy isn't always a great thing.

  9. #19
    Senior Member the state i am in's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    MBTI
    infj
    Enneagram
    5w4 sx/sp
    Posts
    2,460

    Default

    sp types are generally more aloof unless they have the space to feel privately.

    e5s and w5s are generally feeling avoidant bc they are terrified of feeling overwhelmed. they immediately replace it with detachment, but when it's strong (for sx types?) it kind of radiates into anger more quickly, although an anger kind of tremor that doesn't act and release itself but instead burns itself out much like the feeling would but with no release and nothing learned.

    1s and w1s rely on standards of conduct to insulate themselves from others and instead focus on their own deliberations of what is right, necessary, acceptable. it balances out the suggestibility, openness, and empathy of e9.

    i think sx types can, at times, drown out the feelings of others with their own desires and demands. whereas so types are generally more avoidant and will rely on distraction to take them out of that mental/emotional space.

    i think, more generally, infjs can get clouded when entranced and that cloud can specifically fog up Fe until it cuts itself off and tries to isolate itself (drowning out the sounds of others with earplugs). maybe bc (all?) infjs seem to have a pretty strong sp instinct.

  10. #20
    Occasional Member Evan's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    1
    Posts
    4,223

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by stellachiara View Post
    I haven't read the whole thread, so I may repeating something already said, but I think some INFJs feel so strongly inside ourselves that we sometimes harden ourselves to other people's feelings, kind of in self-defense against over-empathizing, or feeling responsible for "fixing" them.
    I definitely do this.

    Not sure if I'm INFJ though.

Similar Threads

  1. Video: INFJ and INFP talk about Feeling
    By highlander in forum Typology Videos and RSS Feeds
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 07-21-2014, 07:49 PM
  2. Replies: 6
    Last Post: 09-29-2013, 08:58 PM
  3. [INFJ] INFJs and feeling drawn to the otherworldly
    By Lightyear in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 15
    Last Post: 02-09-2009, 09:47 PM
  4. [INFJ] INFJ and Compliments
    By chippinchunk in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 47
    Last Post: 01-24-2008, 09:20 AM
  5. [INFJ] INFJ and grief
    By tovlo in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 17
    Last Post: 12-21-2007, 06:49 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO