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[ENFP] Upset ENFPs: Handle With Care

nolla

Senor Membrane
Joined
May 22, 2008
Messages
3,166
MBTI Type
INFP
Oh, I learned some.. Then I learned Spanish and it kicked the Italian out of me...
 

nolla

Senor Membrane
Joined
May 22, 2008
Messages
3,166
MBTI Type
INFP
Ha! Hell no! Though, I may want to... Are the Italians ENFJs? What are the Spanish? (The Italians are too cocky for my liking...)
 

freeeekyyy

Cheeseburgers
Joined
Feb 13, 2010
Messages
1,384
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INTJ
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5w4
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sx/sp
Ha! Hell no! Though, I may want to... Are the Italians ENFJs? What are the Spanish? (The Italians are too cocky for my liking...)

Hehe...just seems like an NFJ-ish language. All that passion. The other romance languages seem more P.
 

nolla

Senor Membrane
Joined
May 22, 2008
Messages
3,166
MBTI Type
INFP
Maybe that P/J difference was why I never liked the Italians that much... They were all over the place with their loving...

Chill...
 

stringstheory

THIS bitch
Joined
Jul 12, 2009
Messages
923
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ENFP
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1
Ha! Hell no! Though, I may want to... Are the Italians ENFJs? What are the Spanish? (The Italians are too cocky for my liking...)

hold up, Italians are cocky but the Spanish aren't??

[/is Italian]
 

Thalassa

Permabanned
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May 3, 2009
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What is the NF?

French culture is supposed to be ENFP culture, and I've heard that both Russia and Japan might be INFJ cultures. Slavic language uses a lot of metaphor, and I would definitely call that an NF thing.

I would also definitely say that all of the Romance languages (Italian, Spanish, French, Porteguese) are much more F than English. I wouldn't really call English an F language, and English-speaking culture actually seems quite emotionally restrained to me. Hence the empty smiles without real feeling, the fake politeness, and the distance in our body language, etc.
 

skylights

i love
Joined
Jul 6, 2010
Messages
7,756
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INFP
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so/sx
how to get an ENFP to STFU: take them somewhere FUN!

mind you they might still want to talk later but that will shut them up for the time being.

How do i make an ENFP STFU when they're upset more often than i can deal with? He has been grieving for some time and i have done what i can to help, but as an introvert i simply don't have the time or energy to deal with his endless self-expression that dominates our friendship. I am his best friend apparently but I am very over it and want to decrease his attachment to me in a nice way... but he won't let me - he is demanding of my attention which is extremely irritating and is basically making me hate him. Avoiding/ignoring an ENFP seems to make them very dramatic, frustrated and angry and therefore much more annoying. Directly asking for space caused him to try to guilt trip me into talking to him in a way that i thought was blatantly obvious; i don't really want anything to do with someone like that. I think i am going to need to tell him to simply leave me alone and be mean... is there not a nicer way? We have mutual friends so i don't want to create lots of drama, though it seems inevitable as he doesn't seem willing to let his attachment to me go.

as you've discovered, avoiding or ignoring only triggers our stress response, which is to pour outward. it can partially be a fear of losing connection - we see you receding, and we don't want that, so our immediate response is to draw towards you. to an introvert, i'm sure that this can be overwhelming and annoying. but if you're overtly mean and tell him to go away he'll probably just blow up at you and outpour even more than usual.

i would explain it to him simply like you did here. that you have a hard time handling his emotional flow and emphasize that it is hurting you. unfortunately, if he keeps coming to you, my guess is that he really doesn't have anyone else that he feels good about talking to. if you are still willing to be there for him, but to a lesser degree, perhaps you could ask him to write out all his feelings and analyze them and then go through them with you every once in a while - maybe make a limit like 20 minutes talking about his issues, twice a week. it'll force him to condense to what is most important, and if he has to analyze it before he talks to you, then the emotion should be calmed down a LOT.

by the way, if he's going over the past again and again, and getting super emotional about it, that's not good... it's like ENFP depressive shit. and Fi-Si looping. if that's the case, he needs less talking and more Ne-Te stimulation. like taking up a new sport or hobby or something. it'd help a lot.

the hardest part of Fi is learning how to step back and read situations that involve yourself, especially if you're also emotional at the time. It screws up the readings ;)

:yes:

You think the USA is a T-BASED???????? culture??? :shock: Whoaaaaaa. Why?

the US is just flat-out extraverted. and Fe. especially down south.


my people!! :wubbie:

spanish culture is ESFP, imo
 

freeeekyyy

Cheeseburgers
Joined
Feb 13, 2010
Messages
1,384
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the US is just flat-out extraverted. and Fe. especially down south.

Definitely in social interaction. I don't know that I would label US culture as a whole particularly F though.

my people!! :wubbie:

spanish culture is ESFP, imo

Italy is a pretty great country. Especially northern italy.
 

Chloe

New member
Joined
May 1, 2009
Messages
2,196
European countries that i can be sure of:
in general, europe is muuuuuuuuuch more S than USA!! France could be exception, but besides that, hah no, new things arent welcome here, P things too.
(all these countries are that i either lived in(croatia,italy) or visit often so it's clear)
Italy ESFP
Croatia ESTj (very T country, showing emotions is very unwelcome. whole style of relating is so different than what i encounter in this forum its sooo weird, america seems much more Fe than croatia. we are like NO-Fe at all lol. not much Fi either )
Serbia ESFp
Bosnia EsfP. (it was more so before the war i guess, but my ex bf was from bosnia and he grew up in multicultural enviorment so probably that influences more acceptance. today is probably different a lot)
Slovenia eSTJ
Czech republic and hungary are strongly SJ, more Introverted than italy or croatia, so iSTJ i guess.
Germany and Austria are known ISTJ (?)


The Netherlands eSFJ ( this is more info from my dutch friend who is mbti teacher blah blah so i trust her. woman lived in USA (Seattle, Chicago), Italy, London and Netherlands, so is great to speak about this: said that seattle is too ENFP even for her (she's enfp) etc... so she says dutch arent that open minded, they just follow established rules, which are that some things like drugs and prostitution are okay... interesting. from short period i've been there i could see sj, especially comparing to no-order on balkan, they have rules for evertything in netherlands )

Russia is something like EsFj, so could be called ENFP but doubt, there's strong SJ silent rules. passion =/= NF. you cant call a country N if democracy is on so low level, i think, it doesnt make sense, i used to idolize russia, dont know why, probably for dostojevski and tolstoj haha.
 

Little Linguist

Striving for balance
Joined
Jun 23, 2008
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xNFP
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sx/so
The funny thing is that I feel more comfy in Germany than in the US, despite the fact that people think Germany is ISTJ in culture.
 

Little Linguist

Striving for balance
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Jun 23, 2008
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^^^ Yeah that's what they mean by 'share the love.' :tongue10:
 

Chloe

New member
Joined
May 1, 2009
Messages
2,196
No way can Russian culture be classified as ENFP.

many say so, even one book about types haha, which is wrong on most things... but yeah it's not. what type u think russia is?
i guess esfj could be close..

and italians, they are very SP, they treat women on tv like piece of meat, it's like that everywhere.. but italy is known for especially degrading women in their tv shows.

The funny thing is that I feel more comfy in Germany than in the US, despite the fact that people think Germany is ISTJ in culture.

could be for few reasons; you've changed a bit, you feel more at ease with Te than Fe, you've been lucky when you got first to Germany and many things about how you feel in some place are strongly influenced with how did you feel when you first got there. and... no bad memories.
being able to detach easier from some cultural bad heritage.
like i know foreigners who come to croatia dont remember the same traumas like people who are born here and are emotionally attached to all political issues.

at least i feel more free when i am in foreign country because politics is something i dont feel pressured by
 
S

Sniffles

Guest
many say so, even one book about types haha, which is wrong on most things... but yeah it's not. what type u think russia is?
i guess esfj could be close..

I don't know what book you're talking about, but the book Ive read on this along with other texts seem to suggest Russians are more ISXP.
 
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