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  1. #51
    Retired Member Wonkavision's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Little Linguist View Post
    Please explain what you mean in more depth. I'm grossly unaware of what has transpired recently to make you say this, so it is hard for me to make connections when I do not know the context.

    Maybe if you could be a bit more specific....
    I'm not sure why you (and others) are emphasizing recent events so much.

    Sure, they were, in a round about way, influencing factors in my bringing this issue up. But my way of thinking and doing things isn't as focused and agenda-laden as some of you seem to think it is.

    I don't see the recent events as being that relevant because this is a broader issue I have thought about all my life, even before I heard about typology.

    Edahn seems to be gearing up to write an expose on recent events, so I'm afraid you'll just have to wait for that.
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  2. #52
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wonkavision View Post
    I think that's a strange way to put it, but yeah--bouncing my ideas off of others helps me to flesh out my ideas.
    Yeah, I know this is very common thing among extroverts, and maybe I could use different words, but my main point is that you need those other people as a part of this process, never mind about who influences who. If you are being defensive, you will not get the best out of the people as they will react to your defensiveness, and most likely your original idea drowns into the argument.

  3. #53
    Striving for balance Little Linguist's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wonkavision View Post
    I'm not sure why you (and others) are emphasizing recent events so much.

    Sure, they were, in a round about way, influencing factors in my bringing this issue up. But my way of thinking and doing things isn't as focused and agenda-laden as some of you seem to think it is.

    I don't see the recent events as being that relevant because this is a broader issue I have thought about all my life, even before I heard about typology.

    Edahn seems to be gearing up to write an expose on recent events, so I'm afraid you'll just have to wait for that.
    I jumped to conclusions. Allow me to rephrase:

    What has triggered your OP?

  4. #54
    Emerging Tallulah's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Little Linguist View Post
    You know what I find hard (not as an ENFP, really, but just as Renée)? I find it really hard to know when to differentiate between the following:

    a. venting just to vent
    b. venting at me to piss me off
    c. venting at me to clarify/correct a situation
    d. venting to get an answer
    e. venting about someone else when you're really venting about us/something to do with us vicariously and I'm supposed to somehow pick that out from high heaven
    f. venting about one thing when you're really pissed off about something else
    g. venting about general things when you really mean something specific
    h. venting about specific things when you really mean something general

    Etc. etc. very hard for me to distinguish. I think it's related to the topic. Any ideas how to hone that skill better?
    Hmm! Good questions. I think it's kind of natural for me at this point, maybe because when I was younger I was so clueless about people's expectations of me, to sort of always wonder if there's a sub-level to the venting. If a roommate is complaining about the house being messy all the time because she's always working and doesn't have time to attend to anything, I'll ask myself if there's something I could be doing that I'm neglecting, too. Maybe I just hadn't thought of it. Ultimately, though, I think if people want something from you, and you're not picking up on the hints, they need to communicate that need more clearly. They don't really have a right to be angry if you never knew what they needed from you.

    I do think there are people (I don't know what types they'd be or anything) that are not good venting partners. They will always, always take it personally and feel like you're just directing anger towards them. I don't mind people venting anger if I know it's not anger at me.
    Something Witty

  5. #55
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    treat me like shit or like another one of your random cockjockeys and i won't take your thoughts into consideration. those are simple rules. so don't blame me if i end up burning the bridge between us. i got enough weight on my shoulders already, being a skinny little emo and all that.

  6. #56
    Striving for balance Little Linguist's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tallulah View Post
    Hmm! Good questions. I think it's kind of natural for me at this point, maybe because when I was younger I was so clueless about people's expectations of me, to sort of always wonder if there's a sub-level to the venting. If a roommate is complaining about the house being messy all the time because she's always working and doesn't have time to attend to anything, I'll ask myself if there's something I could be doing that I'm neglecting, too. Maybe I just hadn't thought of it. Ultimately, though, I think if people want something from you, and you're not picking up on the hints, they need to communicate that need more clearly. They don't really have a right to be angry if you never knew what they needed from you.
    Thank you for this good advice. And I think you're right: Ultimately people have to have open communication, even if it doesn't have to be blunt. Perhaps I will develop better antennae as I mature.

    I do think there are people (I don't know what types they'd be or anything) that are not good venting partners. They will always, always take it personally and feel like you're just directing anger towards them. I don't mind people venting anger if I know it's not anger at me.
    Bingo! Exactly. I'm more than happy to listen - as long as people aren't just LASHING out at me for no reason.

    However, I do have to curb my impulses to FIX things....that's bad.

  7. #57
    Emerging Tallulah's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wonkavision View Post
    I'm not sure why you (and others) are emphasizing recent events so much.

    Sure, they were, in a round about way, influencing factors in my bringing this issue up. But my way of thinking and doing things isn't as focused and agenda-laden as some of you seem to think it is.

    I don't see the recent events as being that relevant because this is a broader issue I have thought about all my life, even before I heard about typology.

    Edahn seems to be gearing up to write an expose on recent events, so I'm afraid you'll just have to wait for that.
    Well, all those threads you've been starting lately sort of tie together to look like an agenda. So whether they were are not, you can't really blame people for assuming this thread is the latest in the series.
    Something Witty

  8. #58
    Striving for balance Little Linguist's Avatar
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    I naturally seek connections, even with limited information. That means we can make incorrect conclusions, though, which is why I sought more information (and haven't received....umm...grrr?).

  9. #59
    Retired Member Wonkavision's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Little Linguist View Post
    I jumped to conclusions. Allow me to rephrase:

    What has triggered your OP?

    There are probably countless factors that led up to my posting the OP.

    In a nutshell, though, I would say that I have interacted with a lot of people in the last few days, on the forum AND elsewhere--and have noticed some things about myself and how people react to me.

    I thought it would be a good idea to give some advice on how to deal with an upset ENFP.

    I think people would benefit from it.

    And I appreciate hearing people's perspectives on it, because I'm in the process of trying to figure all this stuff out---myself, others, Life in general....

    But if people don't want to heed the advice in the OP, it ultimately doesn't matter.

    What else can I say?
    __________________


    I'M OUTTA HERE.

    IT'S BEEN FUN.

    TAKE CARE.

    PEACE OUT!!!


  10. #60
    Striving for balance Little Linguist's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wonkavision View Post
    There are probably countless factors that led up to my posting the OP.

    In a nutshell, though, I would say that I have interacted with a lot of people in the last few days, on the forum AND elsewhere--and have noticed some things about myself and how people react to me.

    I thought it would be a good idea to give some advice on how to deal with an upset ENFP.

    I think people would benefit from it.

    And I appreciate hearing people's perspectives on it, because I'm in the process of trying to figure all this stuff out---myself, others, Life in general....

    But if people don't want to heed the advice in the OP, it ultimately doesn't matter.

    What else can I say?
    Please do not mistake my interrogations...they are simply to get to know you better.

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