Evan, so I read your post for the millionth time since everyone keeps quoting it and I caught something.Now, I'm not going to say ENFPs have never expected someone to read their minds ( I know I have, but my ESTP husband is actually much worse at that expectation than I am). But that isn't always what is going on.If someone can't communicate something, or is saying untrue things about what they're thinking, why should they expect a positive response? They're misrepresenting themselves and they want people to know that. But sometimes they're not misrepresenting themselves. So to put the responsibility of figuring that out on the OTHER PERSON is completely stupid. No one can read minds.
I am not trying to put the responsibility of figuring out the problem onto the listener. I just want them to listen'. I'll figure it out, if they just listen instead of shutting me down. I don't know what I think until I express it, but generally I have to express wrong stuff before I get to the right stuff. I'm not just spouting off "untrue" things, I am processing it OUT LOUD because that is how I work. If I didn't do it that way, I'd probably be an INFP. It's a very important process, but listeners have to understand it's a process or they will be like "WTF?". If you read my signature quote that pretty much sums up a lot of ENFPs. I do this when I am perfectly calm, so why would the process change when I become upset? I have to extrovert my thoughts and feelings in order to figure them out. I am not expecting the listener to figure out anything.
From Nurture by NatureTheir need to ask is even more important than their desire for an answer. ENFPs think out loud and do not censor or edit their thoughts. They actually need to hear what they've said before they can apply any judgment to it. For ENFPs, the process rules.