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  1. #331
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    Quote Originally Posted by Satine View Post
    Wow. Again with hidden agendas, and again with the reading between the lines instead of honestly looking at something and wondering if possibly, it could work that way for others.
    Sometimes the hidden agenda is the result of honestly looking at something.

    Quote Originally Posted by Satine View Post
    I'm done with this thread *sigh*

  2. #332
    Striving for balance Little Linguist's Avatar
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    Okay, okay, okay, I'm going to go all S-central, and be more concrete so that I at least know what I'm talking about:

    Stealing from the other dude who did it. (I forget who, and I'm not going to browse through five billion pages)

    Here is what sometimes used to happen when between my husband and me when we didn't know each other that well.

    IT: So how are you?
    EF: Ugh, it's been a rough day. ***goes in room, closes door, zones out like a zombie***
    IT: What's the matter?
    EF: Bad class today. X didn't show up. Y acted like a fart shit. And Z was being a total dick.
    IT: You can't educate stupid people.
    EF: Yeah, I know, but it's really frustrating.
    IT: It shouldn't bother you. You let too many things bother you.
    EF: Yes, but it matters, I mean really. And it does really bother me.
    IT: Well, then you have to work on yourself.
    EF: **feels blood pressure rising** Well, I know, but if they were only....
    IT: But they weren't. Don't always focus on what could be or what should be. It wasn't. It's over. Don't worry about it.
    EF: But it bothers me.
    IT: Well it shouldn't bother you.
    EF: *sigh* Okay, I went through all this trouble to prepare and do this and that, and it didn't even work.
    IT: You shouldn't put too much effort into things people don't appreciate.
    EF: BUT I HAVE TO!!!!!
    IT: Who says you have to??? No one says you have to!!! YOU just have an obsession with making everything perfect.
    EF: Well excuse the hell out of me if I try to do things right!
    IT: Why are you yelling?
    EF: I'M NOT YELLING!!!!!
    IT: You just DID! Just because YOU have a shitty day doesn't mean you can blame ME!!!!!!!!!
    EF: ***about ready to flip her lid*** OK, listen, YOU'RE NOT HELPING!!!
    IT: Well, what do you want??? Why do you always have to bring your work problems home! Leave them there!
    EF: I CAN'T DO THAT!!!!!!!!
    IT: WELL LEARN IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    EF: You know what? Just FUCK IT and FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    **slams door**

    Now that's not really the MATURE way to handle it. But it's just two different ways of thinking/whatever coming together. Nowadays it's more like this:

    IT: How was your day?
    EF: Oh, well, it could have been better. But whatever. How was your day?
    IT: It was good. My day's always good. Better that you're here.
    EF: Aww, thanks. I need a hug. I had a kind of a rough day.
    IT: Awww c'mere. ***hugs me*** Why, what happened?
    EF: Oh, well, no biggie. Just the usual stuff. But sometimes it kinda piles on and you're like, wrrrraraararararrargh.
    IT: Well, what did the fart shits do this time?
    EF: OMG everyone was a fart shit. They farted here and shat there til I almost called the fire department.
    IT: HAHAHA! Yeahhhhh and then...***random craziness***
    EF: OH YEAH!!! ***giggles, giggles*** And then ***more random shit***
    IT: Well, you're home now, screw the fart shits, let's eat and have some fun.
    EF: Yeah, fuck em!!!!!!! ***giggles and smiles***

  3. #333
    Senor Membrane
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    Quote Originally Posted by skylights View Post
    i suppose, somewhat ironically, this thread is a case-in-point of both how not to handle an upset ENFP, as well as how the ENFP should not handle himself.
    I was just thinking this. This thread is in some ways a lot more revealing than many "nice" threads about the same subject. Personally, I was on the verge of questioning my type and changing it to INTP since I kept asking myself "Why doesn't he see the obvious facts I pointed out to him"...

    But then I remembered that he is not his type, he's a person.

  4. #334
    Occasional Member Evan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Little Linguist View Post
    Okay, okay, okay, I'm going to go all S-central, and be more concrete so that I at least know what I'm talking about:

    Stealing from the other dude who did it. (I forget who, and I'm not going to browse through five billion pages)

    Here is what sometimes used to happen when between my husband and me when we didn't know each other that well.

    IT: So how are you?
    EF: Ugh, it's been a rough day. ***goes in room, closes door, zones out like a zombie***
    IT: What's the matter?
    EF: Bad class today. X didn't show up. Y acted like a fart shit. And Z was being a total dick.
    IT: You can't educate stupid people.
    EF: Yeah, I know, but it's really frustrating.
    IT: It shouldn't bother you. You let too many things bother you.
    EF: Yes, but it matters, I mean really. And it does really bother me.
    IT: Well, then you have to work on yourself.
    EF: **feels blood pressure rising** Well, I know, but if they were only....
    IT: But they weren't. Don't always focus on what could be or what should be. It wasn't. It's over. Don't worry about it.
    EF: But it bothers me.
    IT: Well it shouldn't bother you.
    EF: *sigh* Okay, I went through all this trouble to prepare and do this and that, and it didn't even work.
    IT: You shouldn't put too much effort into things people don't appreciate.
    EF: BUT I HAVE TO!!!!!
    IT: Who says you have to??? No one says you have to!!! YOU just have an obsession with making everything perfect.
    EF: Well excuse the hell out of me if I try to do things right!
    IT: Why are you yelling?
    EF: I'M NOT YELLING!!!!!
    IT: You just DID!
    EF: ***about ready to flip her lid*** OK, listen, YOU'RE NOT HELPING!!!
    IT: Well, what do you want??? Why do you always have to bring your work problems home! Leave them there!
    EF: I CAN'T DO THAT!!!!!!!!
    IT: WELL LEARN IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    EF: You know what? Just FUCK IT and FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    **slams door**

    Now that's not really the MATURE way to handle it. But it's just two different ways of thinking/whatever coming together. Nowadays it's more like this:

    IT: How was your day?
    EF: Oh, well, it could have been better. But whatever. How was your day?
    IT: It was good. My day's always good. Better that you're here.
    EF: Aww, thanks. I need a hug. I had a kind of a rough day.
    IT: Awww c'mere. ***hugs me*** Why, what happened?
    EF: Oh, well, no biggie. Just the usual stuff. But sometimes it kinda piles on and you're like, wrrrraraararararrargh.
    IT: Well, what did the fart shits do this time?
    EF: OMG everyone was a fart shit. They farted here and shat there til I almost called the fire department.
    IT: HAHAHA! Yeahhhhh and then...***random craziness***
    EF: OH YEAH!!! ***giggles, giggles*** And then ***more random shit***
    IT: Well, you're home now, screw the fart shits, let's eat and have some fun.
    EF: Yeah, fuck em!!!!!!! ***giggles and smiles***
    Wow, that was actually quite touching.

    If only Wonka could have thought that way.

  5. #335
    Senior Member alexx's Avatar
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    LL - What type is your husband?

    89% Extroverted ~ 68% Intuition ~ 84% Feeling ~ 89% Perceiving
    Enneagram: 2w1 SO/SP Socionics: ENFp
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    Se 30.4% Si 19.1% - Ne 38.4% Ni 26.4% - Te 23.1% Ti 20% - Fe 46.4% Fi 35.8%
    Sanguine | Phlegmatic
    Right Brain Dominant

  6. #336
    Striving for balance Little Linguist's Avatar
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    My husband is very complex. Every time I think I've got it - it eludes me again.

    Pretty sure he's INtP, though. That is why I thought it was relevant.

    His cognitive functions are something like Ti>Fi>Ne>Si>Ni>Te>Se>Fe.

    Mine are like Ne=Te>Fi=Si>Se>Fe>Ni>Ti.

    I like to say: We have the glue that keeps us together but enough differences to keep us interesting despite the conflict (Ti/Te dichotomy is a big one).

    This means we really attract(ed) each other due to our differences, but we had a shit load of cat fights at first, and broke up about three times before we settled our asses down and realized we love each other, so cut the crap and try to understand each other.

    Now, we hardly have any more cat fights, and I can say that despite our occasional conflicts, we really respect and love each other. That's what it's all about. More you cannot expect from life than a man who loves and respects you, and where you enjoy giving that love and respect in return. Conflicts always occur - that's normal - but it is all about showing mutual love and respect despite the differences.

  7. #337
    Senior Member alexx's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Little Linguist View Post
    More you cannot expect from life than a man who loves and respects you, and where you enjoy giving that love and respect in return. Conflicts always occur - that's normal - but it is all about showing mutual love and respect despite the differences.
    I agree completely. Love the insight on that - thanks
    Last edited by alexx; 09-22-2010 at 06:02 PM. Reason: changed

    89% Extroverted ~ 68% Intuition ~ 84% Feeling ~ 89% Perceiving
    Enneagram: 2w1 SO/SP Socionics: ENFp
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    Se 30.4% Si 19.1% - Ne 38.4% Ni 26.4% - Te 23.1% Ti 20% - Fe 46.4% Fi 35.8%
    Sanguine | Phlegmatic
    Right Brain Dominant

  8. #338
    almost half a doctor phoenix13's Avatar
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    The solution is simple... Food. Slip him/her some food, and tip toe away. It's like a peace offering, or a sacrifice to a blood-thirsty god. Either way, it helps lighten things up. (This isn't really a type thing, but happens to work on this ENFP.)

    "OMG I FEEEEEEEEEL SO INTENSELY ABOUT EVERYTHING OMG OMG OMG GET ME A XANAX" -Priam (ENFP impersonation)

  9. #339
    Senor Membrane
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    Booze works even better.

  10. #340
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    Quote Originally Posted by InvisibleJim View Post
    Well the classic ENFP explosion management strategy has 3 stages.

    Stage 1: Listen to the anger, say as little as possible.



    Stage 2: Hug it out



    Stage 3: Fun

    *sighs*

    This is why I want an INTJ.

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