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  1. #211
    Striving for balance Little Linguist's Avatar
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    How to make an ENFP STFU? Wow, good question.

    Hmm let me think, how can you make me STFU?

    Well, I'm a weird ass, so don't think I'm going to be like other ENFPs, but I can tell you how to make me STFU:

    - shock me with an idea I hadn't considered before. This will make me analyze and process the new information.

    - say something that hits a big nerve. It'll make me go all emo-ey. But that's a bad kind of quiet. It might also backfire and cause me to go RAWR. Or I'll analyze it to death first, get more and more grumpy, and explode (that is what I used to do when I was younger, not now really).

    - distract me. HAAHA. Easy to do unless I'm on a rampage or really, really determined. Then I will just dismiss you as an idiot. But I'm talking about the emo-ey shit. Just distract me.

    - get me so pissed that I just ignore you. But that usually first results in a cat fight.

    Bottom line: Best way is

    A. Emo cat crap: distract me
    B. Really serious, determined phase: give me something to chew on

  2. #212
    Lex Parsimoniae Xander's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Satine View Post
    Might work with ENFJs but I think you'll just alienate an ENFP in that way. I can take all the punching you wanna throw at me, but only *after* you've shown that you do understand and respect my pov. I have no problem with most NTJs telling me like it is, but usually they'll first show that they care about me and understand where I'm coming from before they rip me a new one *for my own good* That kinda tough love...really awesome. Do it without the prep though and I just wanna get away from you asap.
    You've got to remember though that even if you've had the worst day ever you're engaging someone else in conversation. There's now two people's needs in circulation. To an NT running about screaming with no purpose is purposeless. To an ENFP it sometimes seems like the entire purpose.

    Oh and this whole reassurance BS that many NFs run with... you don't know enough NTs personally. We don't tell you you're okay, we alert you when you're not. It's kinda a secret language but when you get used to it you can mostly QUIT WORRYING. Seriously

    Isn't it time for a colourful metaphor?

  3. #213
    Striving for balance Little Linguist's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Xander View Post
    You've got to remember though that even if you've had the worst day ever you're engaging someone else in conversation. There's now two people's needs in circulation. To an NT running about screaming with no purpose is purposeless. To an ENFP it sometimes seems like the entire purpose.

    Oh and this whole reassurance BS that many NFs run with... you don't know enough NTs personally. We don't tell you you're okay, we alert you when you're not. It's kinda a secret language but when you get used to it you can mostly QUIT WORRYING. Seriously

    Yes, it took a while for me to realize that Ts in general always tell you when something is wrong, never when something is right.

    A lot of Germans are Ts.

    American culture is more F-based in comparison anyway.

    So when people don't say anything, I get really nervous. Now I'm used to it though.

  4. #214
    Lex Parsimoniae Xander's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Little Linguist View Post
    American culture is more F-based in comparison anyway.

    You must live in a really totalitarian area to come to that conclusion!!!

    How come if an ENFP can read people and has empathy, they never actually see that they are fine in other people's eyes and always have to ask?
    Isn't it time for a colourful metaphor?

  5. #215
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Xander View Post

    You must live in a really totalitarian area to come to that conclusion!!!

    How come if an ENFP can read people and has empathy, they never actually see that they are fine in other people's eyes and always have to ask?
    You need some distance to gauge these things correctly, and the hardest part of Fi is learning how to step back and read situations that involve yourself, especially if you're also emotional at the time. It screws up the readings

    I once somewhere posted the 4 prerequisites (that I've found so far) to using Fi in order to gain a reasonably reliable result. These two were on that list
    ★ڿڰۣ✿ℒoѵℯ✿ڿڰۣ★





    "Harm none, do as ye will”

  6. #216
    Lex Parsimoniae Xander's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Satine View Post
    You need some distance to gauge these things correctly, and the hardest part of Fi is learning how to step back and read situations that involve yourself, especially if you're also emotional at the time. It screws up the readings

    I once somewhere posted the 4 prerequisites (that I've found so far) to using Fi in order to gain a reasonably reliable result. These two were on that list
    That makes sense. Having guided a couple of ENFPs through some difficult decisions it does seem that once they can rationalise their situation with their feelings clarity does resume but I always assumed that was my preference being projected...

    Hmm... interesting.
    Isn't it time for a colourful metaphor?

  7. #217
    Striving for balance Little Linguist's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Xander View Post

    You must live in a really totalitarian area to come to that conclusion!!!
    You think the USA is a T-BASED???????? culture??? Whoaaaaaa. Why?

    You go into the damn store, and everyone asks how the fuck you are. If you found everything you were looking for. Blah blah freaking blah. Packs your bags. Meets and greets at the store when you come in. When you go out. When you take a cigarette break while your SO is looking at every single fucking aisle for something you may need 10 years from now.

    You meet someone you know on the street. First question: How are you? No one gives a rat's fat behind how you are, but it's one of these social niceties.

    Small talk. But only certain kinds. No politics. No religion/philosophy. Nothing people might not be familiar with. No sex. In other words, inane bullshit no one cares about.

    Parties and shit. Sororities and fraternities. Everyone does volunteer work. Donates to charities, and everyone goes AWWWW, what a nice person. He might beat up his wife when he gets home, but yay he goes to church. What a nice guy.

    Positive feedback. Always tell people when they did something right.

    And if they do something wrong, always say it nicely.

    We do it for the country man. America first. America rocks! America's the best!!! YAYYYYYYYYYY! We're all patriots. Unified!!!!!

    Even linguistically. Man. The language illustrates it, too:

    - Softening negative stuff. I'm afraid.... Unfortunately.... Well, I see your point, but... You may be on the right track, but.... I'm not quite sure about that.... Well, normally I would love to help, but.... Well, I'm not sure if I have time.

    - Asking for things with softening language Would you mind.... Could you please...? Flowery language.

    - Question tags 'isn't it?, don't you?, right?'

    - If clauses: If you're not doing anything on Saturday, maybe you'd like to hang out?

    Dude, English is a pansy language. Seriously.

    What happened to:

    You're fucking WRONG man. Wronger than wrong. Stinky methane gas wrong.

    Do it, damn youuuuuu!!!!! I'm not going to say it again! Get off your fat dumb ass and DOOOOOO ITTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!

    You are late. Where the fuck were you?

    Nope. It ain't there. And you suck.

    This is what I think!

    Wanna go out with me? Let's grab a coffee and chat

    I suck. You suck. We all suck.

    No. NO. N-O spells No. Not yes. Not maybe. Not could be if I won a million dollars. NO!!!!!!!!!!!!

    I feel shitty, actually. Really shitty. If I feel any shittier, I'll probably barf on your head.

    Or kick my in-laws in the butt.

    Yeah, that's right. The order's late. You're not the only asshole who wants something.

    Do it, please.

    I want ________. No, not that. THIS.

    No, you're on the wrong ball field. You're swinging a bat on a diamond field playing singing in the rain while we're waging war on the offensive and tackling each other with a damned football.

    The weather sucks. Get over it. You bitch when it's hot, cold, sunny, rainy, windy, dry, wet, humid, snowy, icy, and everything else.

    And, yes, I'm exaggerating. And ranting. And whatever.

    How come if an ENFP can read people and has empathy, they never actually see that they are fine in other people's eyes and always have to ask?
    Because I suck at telling. And if I don't ask, I start analyzing too much and causing myself too much aggravation. So asking is easier, quicker, and usually less painful.

  8. #218
    Lex Parsimoniae Xander's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Little Linguist View Post
    You think the USA is a T-BASED???????? culture??? Whoaaaaaa. Why?

    You go into the damn store, and everyone asks how the fuck you are. If you found everything you were looking for. Blah blah freaking blah. Packs your bags.
    Because they're supposed to and that's what the rules say.
    Quote Originally Posted by Little Linguist View Post
    You meet someone you know on the street. First question: How are you? No one gives a rat's fat behind how you are, but it's one of these social niceties.
    Precisely, they don't actually care but they're supposed to ask. SJ culture. ESxJ and with the whole running the world... ESTJ. Plus more knee jerk reactions than a physiotherapy convention.
    Quote Originally Posted by Little Linguist View Post
    Small talk

    Parties and shit. Sororities and fraternities. Everyone does volunteer work. Donates to charities, and everyone goes AWWWW, what a nice person. He might beat up his wife when he gets home, but yay he goes to church. What a nice guy.

    Positive feedback. Always tell people when they did something right.
    Interesting. An extrovert complaining about extroverted traits.

    *puts freud hat on*
    So, how is your mother?

    Quote Originally Posted by Little Linguist View Post
    Even linguistically. Man. The language illustrates it, too:

    - Softening negative stuff. I'm afraid.... Unfortunately.... Well, I see your point, but... You may be on the right track, but.... I'm not quite sure about that....

    - Asking for things with softening language Would you mind.... Could you please...? Flowery language.

    - Question tags 'isn't it?, don't you?, right?'

    - If clauses: If you're not doing anything on Saturday, maybe you'd like to hang out?
    Dude nice people exist everywhere. Seriously. Like even deepest darkest peru!!
    Quote Originally Posted by Little Linguist View Post
    Dude, English is a pansy language. Seriously.

    What happened to:
    Come round my house. I'll illuminate

    Sorry, get your fat ass over here fore I kick it.
    Quote Originally Posted by Little Linguist View Post
    And, yes, I'm exaggerating. And ranting. And whatever.
    What's the problem?


    Quote Originally Posted by Little Linguist View Post
    Because I suck at telling. And if I don't ask, I start analyzing too much and causing myself too much aggravation. So asking is easier, quicker, and usually less painful.
    Lol. ENFP expediency. Very ISTJ.
    Isn't it time for a colourful metaphor?

  9. #219
    Striving for balance Little Linguist's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Xander View Post
    Because they're supposed to and that's what the rules say.

    Precisely, they don't actually care but they're supposed to ask. SJ culture. ESxJ and with the whole running the world... ESTJ. Plus more knee jerk reactions than a physiotherapy convention.

    Interesting. An extrovert complaining about extroverted traits.

    *puts freud hat on*
    So, how is your mother?


    Dude nice people exist everywhere. Seriously. Like even deepest darkest peru!!

    Come round my house. I'll illuminate

    Sorry, get your fat ass over here fore I kick it.

    What's the problem?



    Lol. ENFP expediency. Very ISTJ.
    GAHHHHHH! Who came up with these shitty ideas? Surely not an XSTJ. They'd say, "Come in, buy our shit, and get the fuck outta here!!!!" lol j/k

    All these freaking fake shit. That's what I hate. Freaking fake shit. How are you? And when you answer, they don't even listen.

    People never fucking listen. They're only waiting to say their own shit. And it's usually inane because you can't talk about stuff that matters.

    Imagine this scenario (I stole this from the other dude, but who cares?)

    So how are you?
    :steam: I feel like a mixture between horse shit, dog shit, and cat shit.
    Uh...uh....welll...uh...why?
    :steam: Well, to be entirely honest, my political party lost, I have ten dollars in my account, and I haven't gotten a blow job in about a month, much less real sex.
    *gulp* *sigh* Well....that's...relatively...bad.
    :steam: BAD??? BAD YOU SAY??? WHAT THE FUCK! IT sucks BALLS, man. And even worse, my in-laws are bitching that I don't go to church!!! As if that's the worst of my problems. I'm about to go to my dog and say.....
    Right, well, what nice weather we're having!!!!
    :steam: WEather!!!! WEATHER????? WEATHER???? Are you deaf? Insane? Stupid? On crack???? Haven't you been goddamn listening?
    Could you watch your language?
    :steam: Watch my language???? How should I do that? Draw it on your forehead? YOU SUCK!!!!!!!!!!!

    ***storms off***

  10. #220
    Lex Parsimoniae Xander's Avatar
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    So there you have it, a way to identify ENFPs. The moral conviction that if you don't understand them, you're just not listening hard enough.

    Isn't it time for a colourful metaphor?

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