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  1. #11
    Senior Member Jaguar's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wonkavision View Post
    First of all, there is nothing inherently unreasonable about being emotionally expressive.
    Agreed. As a matter of fact, not expressing one's emotions carries a host of potential problems in and of itself.

    It is completely natural for ENFPs to be emotionally expressive, and it is not something the ENFP should change.
    I'd rather this not be an ENFP thing, really. It's natural for a lot of people to be emotionally expressive.
    No one should have to change anything about themselves, unless they're Charles Manson.

  2. #12
    Senior Member ThatsWhatHeSaid's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wonkavision View Post
    Yeah, you definitely make a better lawyer than a psychologist.
    You can't debate me with logic, so you just (try and) insult me? I'm not offended, I just think it's weak. If you know I'm wrong, say why. If not, then admit you might have miscalculated and move on. Doesn't that make sense?

  3. #13
    Retired Member Wonkavision's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ThatsWhatHeSaid View Post
    You can't debate me with logic, so you just try and insult me? I'm not offended, I just think it's weak. If you know I'm wrong, say why. If not, then admit you might have miscalculated and move on. Doesn't that make sense?
    I don't see this as an issue of "right" or "wrong".

    It's advice for dealing with ENFPs. Plain and simple.

    You can take it or leave it, for all I care.
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  4. #14
    Striving for balance Little Linguist's Avatar
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    With all due respect, I'm going to have to disagree with you.

    Sure, I want to be heard, and more importantly LISTENED TO!!!!! If you're just going to nod and smile, well fuck you! Then just go away and say you don't want to/can't listen right now/ever.

    Secondly, if I have a problem that is external in nature (especially urgent), I want the fucking problem resolved. We can talk all damn day and night but if nothing's getting done at the end of the day - even if it is future action - I'm gonna be pissed. Especially if it is an expedient matter that needs to be handled. I don't wanna get coddled; we need to get shit done, damn it.

    If I have an internal problem (e.g. with myself) that is something else entirely. I am the only one who can solve my own problems. Then, I need someone who is going to be caring, listen, and provide empathy or different perspectives/points of view to get me out of a loop. But more than likely, I am not going to do that very often (unless I have an emo phase, which is scary as fuck). And then don't try to solve my problems, because it is pointless.

    Hope this helps.

  5. #15
    Retired Member Wonkavision's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jaguar View Post

    I'd rather this not be an ENFP thing, really. It's natural for a lot of people to be emotionally expressive.
    I know.

    As I said in the OP:

    Quote Originally Posted by Wonkavision View Post

    NOTE: This may apply to other types as well (and I suspect that it does), but I don't feel as confident speaking for other types.
    I guess I'll have to bold that part too.
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  6. #16
    He who laughs
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    Quote Originally Posted by ThatsWhatHeSaid View Post
    I think you started this thread because you got shut down in some of your other threads, particularly the Feedback thread. You felt bad, and you thought the answer was to correct it with a little ego stroking, so you started this thread on the theory that it'll rectify your feelings and prevent it from happening again.

    I read your reply to slowriot, and I'll repeat what I said. Being NF is not an excuse or justification for "just wanting to be understood." Your reply to him tries to blur right and wrong (in this case, wise and not wise) by saying that everyone has their needs and everyone is unique, blah blah blah. That's totally irrelevant. No one's contesting that you have your own needs. The issue is how to properly deal with those needs. Not all needs should be satisfied. An addict would be stupid to think that the answer to his addiction is more drugs. Likewise, an angry person would be wrong to think that lashing out (or even vent, says research) is the answer to his problem.

    We have two choices: give into your game where we acknowledge you and stroke your ego for you (what I would consider inauthentic as fuck) or deal with your requests and complaints in a logical, objective, swift manner and move on. The latter beats the former.
    Yes, it seems his idea is that we should just let everyone express their emotional issues all the time. And that we should be eachothers emotional garbage bins without giving any thought into it or have a desire to understand the person or help the person grow. (because people dont get sarcasm it seems it might be needed to be expressed)

  7. #17
    Senior Member ThatsWhatHeSaid's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wonkavision View Post
    I don't see this as an issue of "right" or "wrong".

    It's advice for dealing with ENFPs. Plain and simple.

    You can take it or leave it, for all I care.
    That's my point. You don't see it as an issue of right or wrong, but there IS an issue of right or wrong. There's a right way to deal with certain needs and a wrong way. Granted, you want to express yourself and want everyone to validate your emotions. Great. Is it right to allow that or wrong? You say it's advice, but is it the right advice, or not? I'm trying to explain why it isn't, and you haven't really addressed anything I've said.

  8. #18
    Retired Member Wonkavision's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ThatsWhatHeSaid View Post
    You can't debate me with logic, so you just (try and) insult me? I'm not offended, I just think it's weak. If you know I'm wrong, say why. If not, then admit you might have miscalculated and move on. Doesn't that make sense?
    It wasn't really an attempt to insult you.

    It was a snarky way of saying that your "insight" into my motivations for posting this thread was inaccurate.

    Not that it matters, but I find you pretty agreeable.
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  9. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by Little Linguist View Post
    With all due respect, I'm going to have to disagree with you.

    Sure, I want to be heard, and more importantly LISTENED TO!!!!! If you're just going to nod and smile, well fuck you! Then just go away and say you don't want to/can't listen right now/ever.

    Secondly, if I have a problem that is external in nature (especially urgent), I want the fucking problem resolved. We can talk all damn day and night but if nothing's getting done at the end of the day - even if it is future action - I'm gonna be pissed. Especially if it is an expedient matter that needs to be handled. I don't wanna get coddled; we need to get shit done, damn it.

    If I have an internal problem (e.g. with myself) that is something else entirely. I am the only one who can solve my own problems. Then, I need someone who is going to be caring, listen, and provide empathy or different perspectives/points of view to get me out of a loop. But more than likely, I am not going to do that very often (unless I have an emo phase, which is scary as fuck). And then don't try to solve my problems, because it is pointless.

    Hope this helps.
    THANK YOU LL

    And I agree with you completely. Thats very very reasonable.

  10. #20
    Retired Member Wonkavision's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Little Linguist View Post
    With all due respect, I'm going to have to disagree with you.

    Sure, I want to be heard, and more importantly LISTENED TO!!!!! If you're just going to nod and smile, well fuck you! Then just go away and say you don't want to/can't listen right now/ever.

    Secondly, if I have a problem that is external in nature (especially urgent), I want the fucking problem resolved. We can talk all damn day and night but if nothing's getting done at the end of the day - even if it is future action - I'm gonna be pissed. Especially if it is an expedient matter that needs to be handled. I don't wanna get coddled; we need to get shit done, damn it.

    If I have an internal problem (e.g. with myself) that is something else entirely. I am the only one who can solve my own problems. Then, I need someone who is going to be caring, listen, and provide empathy or different perspectives/points of view to get me out of a loop. But more than likely, I am not going to do that very often (unless I have an emo phase, which is scary as fuck). And then don't try to solve my problems, because it is pointless.

    Hope this helps.
    I don't personally believe you're an ENFP, but I appreciate your input anyway, Linguist.
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