the funny thing about Fi in particular is that we really appreciate your wanting to help set us straight, but we need to get over things on our own terms. we really love your support and redirection, but just like you wouldn't appreciate an F restructuring your Ti for you, we don't really have much interest in you telling us how we should be, or devaluing us for our way of being. it is entirely possible to be a reasonable and intelligent ENFP, which does entail being in touch with emotion. someone - maybe satine - has likened Fi to a wild horse. amazing to ride, but what a bitch sometimes. and she needs to be - not tamed - but befriended. if you would really like to help us, then point out where we're going wrong. Ti and Te are awesome at this. but we are not interested in hearing that the things that matter to us, should not. just as you are not.
that said, lord knows i could learn a lesson or two from your logic and i generally appreciate and admire you and your rationale. nor does this apply to every T by any means. most Ts in this thread have been great when it comes to all this.
It's not true for me. I'm glad I'm one of the rare NF females that doesn't need to be saved by an NT male's quick non-feelings.
I need someone to at least try to understand me, not to ...hit me with a stick all the time.
I get told my feelings are invalid all the time and I'm just good and goddamn sick of it so someone waltzing in and going "quitcherbitching" without even trying to see where I'm coming from would just enrage me. Must I continue to pay for being an NF?
I think I'm pretty good at realizing my own rut and getting out of it as much as I can. I don't need saving.
Okay, wowwwwwww, a few things:
1. My NT doesn't SAVE me....we help each other.
2. He doesn't literally say, "quitcherbitching" - I meant that metaphorically
3. Uh, wtf?
Oh, sweet Jesus. I remember being all RAWR I can help myself and fuck you, but sometimes people need to help each other.
Like Phoenix, the more I read this thread, the more I realize I'm like a weirdo ENFP.
I'm like some dumb ass ENFP/ESTJ hybrid. The next generation of type. Wheeeeeeee....ENFP Fi-tard/ ESTJ Si-tard. Rock on - GO ME!
Originally Posted by slowriot
(said in the nicest tone possible) Have you read this thread?
It is said repeatedly by all "NTs" here that emotions and being upset is totally valid. Its part of being human and we all have emotions and feelings NT and NF. Being NT dont mean dismissal of emotions. And what LL is expressing from her husband is that he just wants to help her calm down and talk things out in a reasonable fashion, where he can actually be a contributor/helper and not just a object to rant at. It does not mean that he's dismissing her thoughts and emotions as invalid. Why would anyone do that? It would be silly and without regard for the other person.
Thank you, Slow. YAY! You understood.
Wait, oh, that's the ENFP in me....DOH!
Originally Posted by Vamp
Where did you read any of that in my post?
My post was a response to LL's post and not this whole pile-on cesspool of a thread. I repeat, my post was only in response to LL's post, not the whole thread.
My point is, if I don't like the way it's said (example: the way LL's husband goes about it is not at all agreeable to me, basically saying/communicating "quitcherbitching" is NOT validation, it's the opposite)- if it doesn't convey at least a smidgen of understanding- I'm not going to like it.
NTs can be very understanding but in order for it to be effective it has to be communicated properly, especially to an upset/pissed off ENFP.
Exactly. What LL described is what I absolutely hate about having to deal with NTs etc., Why would anyone believe that saying/communicating in not so many words "quitcherbitching" is validation? Last time I checked that's the complete opposite of validation. It kind of makes me only want to date other NFs or SFs because that's such total non-communicative bullshit it boogles me mind.
Sometimes you need a rationalist complement. That was my point.
And my Te can usually tell my Fi to STFU, but when it cannot, I need someone who can help me from the outside....Yes, I'm a weak fuck sometimes. Oh, well. Shit happens.