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  1. #161
    Striving for balance Little Linguist's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by tinker683 View Post
    I feel kind of bad now. My initial not-entirely-serious post seem to spawn this huge debate over the merits of venting. Good grief, that wasn't where I was going with that!
    If anyone is responsible for that, it was me for picking up the ball and running with it, so I wouldn't worry about it if I were you.

  2. #162
    He who laughs
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    Quote Originally Posted by Little Linguist View Post
    If anyone is responsible for that, it was me for picking up the ball and running with it, so I wouldn't worry about it if I were you.
    No you where not to be blamed. It was just what happened and the outcome was bound to happen. Seems like Wonka has done this before, he might be back in a few months.

    What is sad in this is that people never tried to see the other side but thought people had a hidden agenda with what was said. I know I did, but it was more because of the tone in the OP. It was like a piss off "dont mess with me" thread.

    That might have fueled some of the tone in my response to the OP. But I also wanted to understand/critique what I thought was unreasonable behavior in the OP. And then look at the response I got from Wonka. Instead of trying to understand my oppinion he took a defensive stance. I might to be blamed for my initial response but clearly Wonka never wanted to discuss this, he just wanted to state his oppinion as universal. And not even now do I understand what really was the reasons for posting this thread. And then Edahn responded and Wonka kept going into defensive mode and responded to the tone and not the content of the posts from me and edahn. And on and on went the thread.

  3. #163
    Senor Membrane
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    Quote Originally Posted by slowriot View Post
    but clearly Wonka never wanted to discuss this
    I don't think he wanted to discuss at all... Maybe he wanted to leave with a bang.

  4. #164
    Senior Member animenagai's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by InvisibleJim View Post

    I don't think ENFPs are so unreasonable, merely that they get upset when others aren't willing to understand their opinions, just like other Fi-Te types.

    Besides they need that activity to sort through their emotions and thoughts on issues. It is important to their health.
    Fixed.
    Chimera of Filth

    A gruesome beast with dripping flesh
    Clings to me as a sick fixture
    My throbbing heart it gnawed apart
    It stalks and hunts me through mirrors

  5. #165
    Striving for balance Little Linguist's Avatar
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    May I be honest?

    There may be times when I don't WANT a kick in the ass, but seriously DO NEED it.

    My husband (INTP! YAYZ!) does this when I need it. He'll see me acting like an asshole and just call me on it. Of course, I don't like it. I get pissed and morose. But then after I take some time to think it through, I'm like, "Jesus, I was a real dick/being an idiot/mulling and brooding over bullshit that doesn't matter/isn't true/whatever."

    Example: I'll be brooding and brooding and being morose and whaaa whaa whaa (this happens when I'm stressed, and it really is unhealthy), and he'll be like, "Jesus Christ, get off your ass, do something, and quitcherbitchin'." I won't like him for it at the time, but then I'll be glad he pulled me out of that sour pit of doom.

    Or I'll be pissed off about something, and rather than face the truth, I'll lash out in some form of self-defense mechanism. I don't do this as much anymore, thank goodness, because I've matured a great deal. But then I become a really cruel biatch and I can't think of enough really clever ways to just stick it to someone and twist the knife and rub salt and RAWR to distract myself and the other person from the REAL problem I don't want to face. And then he'll just say, in his cool way, "That was completely uncalled for. I will not be treated this way, and that won't happen again!" I can't do it like he does. Anyway, point being he calls me out on my idiotic behavior, which kicks my rational thought processes back in gear, calms me the fuck down, and I usually come back and apologize for being such a dumb byte.

    Point is: Sometimes people need a big major kick in the pants. And just because people don't like it doesn't mean they don't need it.

    But maybe that's not true for everyone.

  6. #166
    Senor Membrane
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    Quote Originally Posted by Little Linguist View Post
    May I be honest?

  7. #167
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    Quote Originally Posted by Little Linguist View Post
    May I be honest?

    There may be times when I don't WANT a kick in the ass, but seriously DO NEED it.

    My husband (INTP! YAYZ!) does this when I need it. He'll see me acting like an asshole and just call me on it. Of course, I don't like it. I get pissed and morose. But then after I take some time to think it through, I'm like, "Jesus, I was a real dick/being an idiot/mulling and brooding over bullshit that doesn't matter/isn't true/whatever."

    Example: I'll be brooding and brooding and being morose and whaaa whaa whaa (this happens when I'm stressed, and it really is unhealthy), and he'll be like, "Jesus Christ, get off your ass, do something, and quitcherbitchin'." I won't like him for it at the time, but then I'll be glad he pulled me out of that sour pit of doom.

    Or I'll be pissed off about something, and rather than face the truth, I'll lash out in some form of self-defense mechanism. I don't do this as much anymore, thank goodness, because I've matured a great deal. But then I become a really cruel biatch and I can't think of enough really clever ways to just stick it to someone and twist the knife and rub salt and RAWR to distract myself and the other person from the REAL problem I don't want to face. And then he'll just say, in his cool way, "That was completely uncalled for. I will not be treated this way, and that won't happen again!" I can't do it like he does. Anyway, point being he calls me out on my idiotic behavior, which kicks my rational thought processes back in gear, calms me the fuck down, and I usually come back and apologize for being such a dumb byte.

    Point is: Sometimes people need a big major kick in the pants. And just because people don't like it doesn't mean they don't need it.

    But maybe that's not true for everyone.
    Yes that was sort of what I was trying to get at. And that is where I can only disagree with the OP. That if said scenario was done to a person that was the OP that person would continue to lash out to get their ways and wouldnt stop until it was accomplished. Not really what could be seen a mature. It would be egocentric and immature to continue in a behavior like in the OP when others dont want to be part of that and has said so repeatedly.

    Most people are reasonable enough to compromise and find a communication style where both involved can feel validated.

  8. #168
    lab rat extraordinaire CrystalViolet's Avatar
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    This sounds strange but this thread makes me wonder if I'm an ENFP (yeah, I know it's off topic).
    Currently submerged under an avalanche of books and paper work. I may come back up for air from time to time.
    Real life awaits and she is a demanding mistress.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  9. #169
    Senior Member Vamp's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Little Linguist View Post
    May I be honest?

    There may be times when I don't WANT a kick in the ass, but seriously DO NEED it.

    My husband (INTP! YAYZ!) does this when I need it. He'll see me acting like an asshole and just call me on it. Of course, I don't like it. I get pissed and morose. But then after I take some time to think it through, I'm like, "Jesus, I was a real dick/being an idiot/mulling and brooding over bullshit that doesn't matter/isn't true/whatever."

    Example: I'll be brooding and brooding and being morose and whaaa whaa whaa (this happens when I'm stressed, and it really is unhealthy), and he'll be like, "Jesus Christ, get off your ass, do something, and quitcherbitchin'." I won't like him for it at the time, but then I'll be glad he pulled me out of that sour pit of doom.

    Or I'll be pissed off about something, and rather than face the truth, I'll lash out in some form of self-defense mechanism. I don't do this as much anymore, thank goodness, because I've matured a great deal. But then I become a really cruel biatch and I can't think of enough really clever ways to just stick it to someone and twist the knife and rub salt and RAWR to distract myself and the other person from the REAL problem I don't want to face. And then he'll just say, in his cool way, "That was completely uncalled for. I will not be treated this way, and that won't happen again!" I can't do it like he does. Anyway, point being he calls me out on my idiotic behavior, which kicks my rational thought processes back in gear, calms me the fuck down, and I usually come back and apologize for being such a dumb byte.

    Point is: Sometimes people need a big major kick in the pants. And just because people don't like it doesn't mean they don't need it.

    But maybe that's not true for everyone.
    It's not true for me. I'm glad I'm one of the rare NF females that doesn't need to be saved by an NT male's quick non-feelings.

    I need someone to at least try to understand me, not to ...hit me with a stick all the time.

    I get told my feelings are invalid all the time and I'm just good and goddamn sick of it so someone waltzing in and going "quitcherbitching" without even trying to see where I'm coming from would just enrage me. Must I continue to pay for being an NF?

    I think I'm pretty good at realizing my own rut and getting out of it as much as I can. I don't need saving.
    George Bernard Shaw in cartoon form.

  10. #170
    Senior Member angelhair45's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Vamp View Post
    It's not true for me. I'm glad I'm one of the rare NF females that doesn't need to be saved by an NT male's quick non-feelings.

    I need someone to at least try to understand me, not to ...hit me with a stick all the time.

    I get told my feelings are invalid all the time and I'm just good and goddamn sick of it so someone waltzing in and going "quitcherbitching" without even trying to see where I'm coming from would just enrage me. Must I continue to pay for being an NF?

    I think I'm pretty good at realizing my own rut and getting out of it as much as I can. I don't need saving.

    I'm like you Vamp, I do not respond well to things like little linguist described at all...

    Sometimes not being understood IS the roadblock for me. It's what is keeping me from being motivated. If they would just shut up and attempt to understand then they circle of error would stop...
    http://bohemianextrovert.wordpress.com/
    Please excuse the long drawn out ramble above.
    I have to hear what I've said before I know what I think.

    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------

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