[INFP] What usually makes an INFP come to 'BEING'

[izzie]

I've just wondering what exactly makes a person become INFP?

Usually I find that most INFP's:

• Had been taken advantage of many times in the past, and they let such experiences define their skills so that they would avoid the same mistakes in the future.
  
• Often feel the same rushes of rage almost immediately when they see or detect the same experiences happening to others (bad experiences they had already gone through themselves)
  
• Place importance on subtle gestures and signs because they had overlooked them in the past which had changed their lives permanently. Often get misunderstood by others for over emphasis on this importance.
  
• Place over importance on depth, because of unwillingness to fall into potential mistakes that can be caused by meaningless superficialties.
  
• Often able to recreate certain idealist movie-like scenes in head, and determined to see those scenes as how their life should manifest. Which often lead them to become highly intuitive, driven dreamers.

Although INFP's project idealism and optimism when it comes to creativity, are we at some point mostly defined by this: past pain?

Me the INFP

 

[izzie]

Also, another thing that fits the INFP paradox - although we are very idealist and we tend to have issues with controlling our guilt, the past pain creates a dark side in us that we often have to battle. Well, at least for me.

My past pain defines me in a such a way that there have been times when I secretly fear I might turn into the mentally, emotionally and socially manipulative being I can be whenever I feel injured to the extremes. It is almost a miracle that not many people will be able to even understand that side of me.

 

[angell_m]

This british foreign couple suddenly bashed this random kid on the street here where I live because he threw a tin can and missed the trash can at the bus stop, as in, the man got up and yelled at him and had that vicious violent look in his eyes. I was taking the same bus as them. We took the bus, and when it was time for my stop, I got up, walked up to the couple and whispered into the man's ear "We don't need your filthy way of parenting in this country, I suggest you hurry the fuck home." He was about to blow up and say something, but when he saw me he backed off and gave me the "Oh, holy shit"-eyes, the "this guy might actually kick the ever living shit out of me"-look, because I look like I'm ready to kill when I'm angry, which freak people out. I was angry for a whole 20 minutes before I finally got to say what I wanted to say. In fact, I wanted to insult the old man at the bus stop but I figured I wouldn't because I was afraid that I would explode and assult the guy; throw him down on the pavement, kick his fucking teeth in, and stomp his head repeatedly until his neck fucking broke. Luckely for me, and him, I acted accordingly.

 

[izzie]

The idealist INFP in me find that..rather endearing ^

 

[nolla]

Although INFP's project idealism and optimism when it comes to creativity, are we at some point mostly defined by this: past pain?

I don't think that it is what makes us to become our type. I am pretty sure I wasn't taken advantage of more than the average people. Maybe I was hurt more by situations that would not have been so bad for other people. The one thing that shaped me into what I am now is the self-analyzing tendency.

 

[You]

Who is the new cute girl

 

[Wonkavision]

This british foreign couple suddenly bashed this random kid on the street here where I live because he threw a tin can and missed the trash can at the bus stop, as in, the man got up and yelled at him and had that vicious violent look in his eyes. I was taking the same bus as them. We took the bus, and when it was time for my stop, I got up, walked up to the couple and whispered into the man's ear "We don't need your filthy way of parenting in this country, I suggest you hurry the fuck home." He was about to blow up and say something, but when he saw me he backed off and gave me the "Oh, holy shit"-eyes, the "this guy might actually kick the ever living shit out of me"-look, because I look like I'm ready to kill when I'm angry, which freak people out. I was angry for a whole 20 minutes before I finally got to say what I wanted to say. In fact, I wanted to insult the old man at the bus stop but I figured I wouldn't because I was afraid that I would explode and assult the guy; throw him down on the pavement, kick his fucking teeth in, and stomp his head repeatedly until his neck fucking broke. Luckely for me, and him, I acted accordingly.

Fucking awesome!

I love it.

 

[izzie]

I don't think that it is what makes us to become our type. I am pretty sure I wasn't taken advantage of more than the average people. Maybe I was hurt more by situations that would not have been so bad for other people. The one thing that shaped me into what I am now is the self-analyzing tendency.

I have very strong self analyzing tendencies; they are so strong that I often fear I might be unhealthy

 

[izzie]

Who is the new cute girl

*Looks over shoulder* Where?

 

[Razvan]

I don't know about being defined, I think I was born an INFP, I can definitely trace INFP signs back to my childhood. I agree with all the signs you have posted, though I also don't think the level of pain inflicted to a person is related to the person's personality, what differs is how deep the pain is, or the level of suffering. My way of loving a person is pretty intense, like a laser beam , I focus on that person and the universe sometimes disappears. On the other hand, I live pain with the same intensity. I definitely have a dark side because of that, but mostly my life is full of positive emotions, or I try to do that as much as possible. Right on about the movie scenes too, if I had a nickle for all the things I imagined...

 

[nolla]

I have very strong self analyzing tendencies; they are so strong that I often fear I might be unhealthy

It's unhealthy only if you don't get any results...

 

[musicnerd93]

I was very ENFP when I was a child. (Even though, technically, children don't need types.) I have no idea what started me in towards introversion, I think it had something to do with the fact that I was picked on a lot in elementary school (Especially by teachers.)

I suppose I felt that what I had to say anymore wasn't really relevant and sort of clammed up. Though, if I feel extremely strongly about something, don't expect em to be quiet.

 

[tkae.]

Is it that those things caused us to become our type?

Or that our type caused us to experience those things?

I think you might be putting the emphasis on the wrong syllable. And as far as the creativity stuff, that's hardly type-specific. A lot of people conjure up past experiences of pain to drive their work. People that aren't even in the same quadrant as us (such as NT's) do it, and some of them do it even more than I do.

So...

 

[nolla]

Is it that those things caused us to become our type?

I think it is more like we are the type when we are born, and it causes us to see the world differently, causes us to feel pain in different situations than other people and so on. Then, if we begin to analyze this later on, is seems at first like the pain has had a huge impact on how we see the world (because we have reacted to the pain somehow, build different coping mechanisms etc), but when you think about it, our pain was due to how we saw the world in the first place.

 

[tkae.]

I think it is more like we are the type when we are born, and it causes us to see the world differently, causes us to feel pain in different situations than other people and so on. Then, if we begin to analyze this later on, is seems at first like the pain has had a huge impact on how we see the world (because we have reacted to the pain somehow, build different coping mechanisms etc), but when you think about it, our pain was due to how we saw the world in the first place.

Exactly.

There have been plenty of people who went through things I've been through and didn't even get a scratch on them. But to me, it was emotional abuse and left me with wounds I'm still recovering from ten years later.

It's a chicken-and-egg argument.

I was hoping from the thread title that the question would about the things that make our INFP glow and give us energy

 

[nolla]

It's a chicken-and-egg argument.

Yeah, in the way that you could say that being an INFP will guarantee you certain minimum amount of pain because the world just cannot be as soft as an INFP would like it to be. I can't actually imagine an INFP going through the first two decades of their life without being "heavily scarred" from their perspective. Probably it wouldn't even result in the typical behavior later on. There would be less empathy and more black and white judgment.

I'm not saying that we are in a worse position. I think all the types have challenges. This is a big one for us.

 

[skylights]

Is it that those things caused us to become our type?

Or that our type caused us to experience those things?

I think you might be putting the emphasis on the wrong syllable. And as far as the creativity stuff, that's hardly type-specific. A lot of people conjure up past experiences of pain to drive their work. People that aren't even in the same quadrant as us (such as NT's) do it, and some of them do it even more than I do.

So...

em PHA sis on the wrong syl LA ble

haha i thought this topic was going to be more zen in nature also and was curious to see what makes INFPs glow. :]

if i were actually interested in doing research i would like to test my suspicion that there are critical periods in a child's life during which functions and attitudes solidify - type being a mixture of nature and nurture.

 

[TheStarchDefenders]

I have very strong self analyzing tendencies; they are so strong that I often fear I might be unhealthy

I really identify with this. I feel a need to find the perfect path, so much so that I don't do anything. I see every possible pitfall and decide it isn't for me. anyone else feel this?

 

[Rebe]

I've just wondering what exactly makes a person become INFP?

Usually I find that most INFP's:

• Had been taken advantage of many times in the past, and they let such experiences define their skills so that they would avoid the same mistakes in the future.
  
• Often feel the same rushes of rage almost immediately when they see or detect the same experiences happening to others (bad experiences they had already gone through themselves)
  
• Place importance on subtle gestures and signs because they had overlooked them in the past which had changed their lives permanently. Often get misunderstood by others for over emphasis on this importance.
  
• Place over importance on depth, because of unwillingness to fall into potential mistakes that can be caused by meaningless superficialties.
  
• Often able to recreate certain idealist movie-like scenes in head, and determined to see those scenes as how their life should manifest. Which often lead them to become highly intuitive, driven dreamers.

Although INFP's project idealism and optimism when it comes to creativity, are we at some point mostly defined by this: past pain?

Me the INFP

INFPs are definitely not the only ones to be taken advantage of (many times). It's something that most humans, I'd say 95% have to deal with, and it does not make an INFP.

It might break one however, if the INFP does not learn to defend themselves properly or to have enough self-esteem and self-awareness not to change themselves and the good-natured, kind-hearted people that they naturally are. There are unhealthy INFPs who are extremely selfish, manipulative and destructive.

I think INFP children are usually docile, sweet and innocent but as they grow older, a lot of INFPs grow cynical/sarcastic/critical edges. It's not a bad thing, but sometimes it can go over-board.

I believe in the 50% nurture and 50% nature argument for how we develop our individual types. We react in such a way to what happens to us that it turns our few innate, genetic qualities to full-blown INFP traits. The brain is a mysterious thing, both physiologically and psyche-wise. For now, I am a believer of this theory. From working with children for many years, they do present personality traits from when they are babies. Some traits like introversion versus extroversion are easier than other traits like perceiving and judging. Some children hates to be cuddled, but others need it.

I like what you have said about us doing everything we can to redeem past mistakes, learn new skills and avoid the superficial traps that particularly makes our skin crawl. Because we are so sensitive to being hurt, we put up a lot of barriers. It doesn't mean we are hurt by others more, we just experience it deeper. We may sometimes convince ourselves to view everything as if we are the victim but the truth/ the reality is that everyone gets hurt by others/by life at some point. Sometimes it's about the choices you make, sometimes it's just life.

 

[nolla]

I feel a need to find the perfect path, so much so that I don't do anything. I see every possible pitfall and decide it isn't for me. anyone else feel this?

Kind of, yeah. I think the trick is to not see it as a bunch of pitfalls, but seeing difference between the different pitfalls. Some are easier to take than others. Some are worth the risk. Think of the path as a general direction. You don't need to walk the path as long as you go towards the right direction. Relativity is the key.

I'm still working on applying that theory... but I bet the life will catch up with you sooner or later if you stay put.