Well, I'm not out to hurt people. At the same time, just because they want to get to know me doesn't always mean there's a mutual interest in doing so, or in going about it the same way. When I do become friends, I invest. That's why I prefer to do it one stage at a time. Then I see if I want to take it further or not before I've held out false hopes for them or given away parts of myself that I deem valuable to me. I accept not everyone is going to reciprocate when I want to get to know other people, and therefore I tend to be overly careful in making sure that they want to get to know me before I take initiative. I've had to retrain myself because I didn't realize that their reason for not giving those signals sometimes is out of insecurity rather than disinterest. That only really hit home to me after my ESTJ and I broke up and our friends "picked" him. He was the one who took those kinds of chances, whereas I was more of a warm responder. Therefore, they assumed that they were better friends with him and that he had more interest than he actually even did. As part of putting myself out there more than I used to, I've also had to learn to not take it personally if they are disinterested or not free to develop a friendship at that time.