User Tag List

First 412131415162464 Last

Results 131 to 140 of 938

  1. #131
    Professional Trickster Esoteric Wench's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    7w8
    Posts
    950

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by fidelia View Post
    Because we've had a go around before, EW, I don't feel as annoyed. I know that your motives are good. I also am aware that if the shoe is on the other foot and I express all of my thoughts, I could potentially really get up a posse of the Fi-Te crowd against me. However, the issue in your communication is not dry sense of humour or self-deprecating comments (both are compliments to yourself, do you not see that?). It feels condescending and like you are going to tell us what is best for us (Te maybe?). Not being a Fe user yourself, you are saying that our experiences of Fe are invalid because you have seen Fe gone awry and you see it objectively.

    That is a sure way to get hackles up. You are clearly ignoring someone saying that they are struggling to be civil with you (sign to back off on the Te!). It's like you totally disregarded that message (which affects the other people in the discussion) and are streamrolling ahead without having addressed the concern brought up. That makes Ti users feel as if you really don't understand the situation or know what you are talking about, even if you feel like you do. (It stifles us in the same way that Fe users assuming their way is obviously THE way it is, not just our view of how things should be done stifles you and makes you want to do just the opposite for spite).

    I don't know if you can identify with any of what I'm talking about, but I think it might be important to heed if you are interested in a productive discussion (lol, again I'm concerned about the end result).

    I'm not saying that your perceptions are invalid or that they should never be expressed. I'm just saying that stating them after delving into the Ti concerns will probably serve you better.
    Fidelia and Jennifer, I want you to know that I'm going to really think about what you both have said here. I need some time to reflect. I think what I'm hearing is that I don't attend enough to the give and take of a bi-directional conversation. Is that what you're saying? At least in part?

    Hmmm.... I do think that's a valid point. I guess my first thought is that I might be unwittingly making people think I don't take into consideration what they say because my short term responses are usually about me expressing myself in areas where I'm comfortable. Normally this is my Te.

    Rest assured, though, that my Fi does hear you and is considering what you, Jennifer, and other people on this forum have to say. It's just that this is an internalized process for me. And, thus it's private and not something I'm ready to talk about yet. I can see how this might be misinterpreted (or perhaps correctly interpreted from my one-sided Te communication).

    I've got to tell you that figuring out how Fi works for me, and appreciating that this is an introverted process and how an introverted process is private, when the rest of my life seems so public... and my grasping to come to terms with how my Fi plays out in my life has been a huge growth experience for me. And, I feel like I'm just at the beginning of this process.

    As I said on the INFJ Common Issues thread, the Fi aspects to my personality are so much apart of who I am, that until recently, I've never even considered that there was another way of doing things (viz., the Fe way of communicating). I'm very good about tailoring my approach. But I have to consider how I as an Fi user could tailor my approach to be better received by an Fe user.

    OK, I don't want us to get diverted from the topic at hand here. But thanks for the constructive feedback. Noted for future reference.
    ENFP with kick*ss Te | 7w8 so | ♀

  2. #132
    Senior Member KDude's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Posts
    8,263

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Usehername View Post
    Questions for FJs:
    (1.) do you take a moment to self-check, with nearly every conscious action that you take, "is this behaviour in line with how I want to live out my values?"

    (2.) How conscious are you of your personal priorities (beyond the collective moral standards)?
    Top-notch ENFJ prof once said to me that she was so good at giving people what they wanted in graduate school, that towards the end when she was beginning to form her career without answering to others she struggled with what she wanted to do. It took her a while to find her research interests because she wasn't very good at finding what lit her fire on her own terms absent an outside source.
    I've spent much of my life in relative solitude (I'm fairly sure I'm an introvert). Funnily, I still haven't figured that much out!... But I'd say that I can't help from being grounded on more principled/self-oriented ideas about what I want in life. You do this long enough and you can't help but being a little self-absorbed I'm also a Christian, which makes it somewhat easy to abide by some "collective moral standards" - some of the things that people want are things I already expect of myself. I don't follow any of that in a straight line though. Which is kind of a complicated point to get into.. I'm not a traditional person, nor do I go to church much.. Point is though, there are enough shared ethics in my own convictions that I'm not clashing about anything with serious moral weight. It's really the small areas in life where I adjust my perspective and find myself agreeable. It could be something as simple as a certain group's brand of humor or some foreign cultural practice or even the level of civility on how people on this forum would like. Sometimes I don't see any of it as losing myself so much as just educating myself.

  3. #133
    reborn PeaceBaby's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    937 so/sx
    Posts
    6,226

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by fidelia View Post
    I also am aware that if the shoe is on the other foot and I express all of my thoughts, I could potentially really get up a posse of the Fi-Te crowd against me.
    We like your thoughts; we want the raw version. We like to know what you think. No posse here. Up til a few posts ago, this thread was pretty actually.

    Maybe I should put up an Fi gone awry where it's not righteously oriented ... well, I don't know if I have any, but I'll think on it.

    See, it's hard for Te to feel wrong, so I am going to suppose it's hard for Fe too, that's why the format of this thread doesn't resonate with Fe users.
    "Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one."
    Eleanor Roosevelt


    "When people see some things as beautiful,
    other things become ugly.
    When people see some things as good,
    other things become bad."
    Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching

  4. #134
    Senior Member KDude's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Posts
    8,263

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by PeaceBaby View Post
    that's why the format of this thread doesn't resonate with Fe users.
    I like it

    Does that mean I'm not Fe?

    Wait..Is asking someone to confirm if I'm Fe actually, in fact, Fe?

    Lastly, I wish people quoted my posts more often I'm trying to connect and give you all stories, yo.

  5. #135
    Professional Trickster Esoteric Wench's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    7w8
    Posts
    950

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by PeaceBaby View Post
    We like your thoughts; we want the raw version. We like to know what you think. No posse here. Up til a few posts ago, this thread was pretty actually.

    Maybe I should put up an Fi gone awry where it's not righteously oriented ... well, I don't know if I have any, but I'll think on it.

    See, it's hard for Te to feel wrong, so I am going to suppose it's hard for Fe too, that's why the format of this thread doesn't resonate with Fe users.
    Interesting PeaceBaby! I think once again you're on to something. You've had a lot of really great posts in this thread. Thank you!

    I hadn't considered this before. And, it is hard for Te to feel wrong. This really helps me understand what may be going on here. And, why the comparable silence of the Fe users in discussing how Fe goes awry.

    Does anyone have any suggestions on what format might work better for Fe users?
    ENFP with kick*ss Te | 7w8 so | ♀

  6. #136
    Professional Trickster Esoteric Wench's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    7w8
    Posts
    950

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by KDude View Post
    I like it

    Does that mean I'm not Fe?

    Wait..Is asking someone to confirm if I'm Fe actually, in fact, Fe?

    Lastly, I wish people quoted my posts more often I'm trying to connect and give you all stories, yo.
    KDude, I've actually been reading your posts as a single string to learn more about you and try to figure out where you're coming from.

    Where have you been in the past six months? I haven't seen you posting much on the NF threads. Thanks for the input and I'll respond soon.
    ENFP with kick*ss Te | 7w8 so | ♀

  7. #137
    Senior Member KDude's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Posts
    8,263

    Default

    Actually, I thought I was ISFP for the longest time. That's where I was. They sort of "kicked me out" because of my Ni though.

  8. #138
    Iron Maiden fidelia's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2009
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    1w2 so/sx
    Posts
    11,096

    Default

    Ezackly on the Te Fe thing Peacebaby. That's what I was trying to explain to you before EW awhile ago.

    As far as expressing all of what I think, it's not that I believe it's consistently offensive, but I think it wouldn't contribute to productive discussion. If I were one on one in private with someone I trust, it feels much more natural for me to throw caution to the wind. When I can't predict the reactions of those involved, I am very reluctant to do so. Takes too much emotional energy without any assurance of a useful end result coming out of it.

  9. #139
    Emerging Tallulah's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    MBTI
    INTP
    Posts
    6,028

    Default

    My Oprah example was an example of Fe gone awry. :-D As was the example of my friend trying to subtly manipulate me into thinking her idea was what I wanted.

    As for me, I think my Fe in overdrive can manifest as snark. I generally try to engage with people honestly and try to hear their perspectives, even if I don't care for what they're saying. But once they ignore the social construct completely and say something in a manner that directly rubs me the wrong way, or that has gotten us off track and the whole group riled up, I feel less inclined to keep the claws retracted. It's kind of a feeling of, "Okay, if you don't care, I don't care."

    I can also get a little overly annoyed at the thread derailers from time to time. But I try not to say anything, because I know everyone's having fun, and I don't want to be a stick in the mud. And I also recognize that my reaction to it can depend on my mood. Sometimes I'm not bothered by it at all.

    I think Fe maybe makes me feel safe overall, partly because as an INTP, I didn't understand all the feeling subtleties when I was a kid and teen (and probably still don't now), so having pure feeling directed at me out of nowhere, or having a lot of dissenting voices with no direction kind of feels like chaos, and makes my Ti feel crowded or something. I think Fe really does sort of pave the way for Ti to do its thing. It's like drama-control. Or that's how it feels to me.
    Something Witty

  10. #140
    Banned
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    6w5
    Posts
    3,278

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Usehername View Post
    Questions for FJs:
    (1.) do you take a moment to self-check, with nearly every conscious action that you take, "is this behaviour in line with how I want to live out my values?"

    (2.) How conscious are you of your personal priorities (beyond the collective moral standards)?
    Top-notch ENFJ prof once said to me that she was so good at giving people what they wanted in graduate school, that towards the end when she was beginning to form her career without answering to others she struggled with what she wanted to do. It took her a while to find her research interests because she wasn't very good at finding what lit her fire on her own terms absent an outside source.
    1#.. Of course.. Now there are times when I can get caught up in the moment like anyone else,react before thinking, become emotional etc..
    My behavior , personal values and their congruency are under constant scrutiny from yours truly. I have no harsher critic than myself. I hold myself to unattainable standards.. But I give most others a break as long as they are consistent.
    EVERYTHING I do, I question. and I will loop for weeks, months, years even.

    2# I know what's important to me and to you, and if I don't, I will find out.
    I don't think Fe is flat out rule follower, I think a few people have mentioned that each rule or moral standard has been evaluated and distilled.
    There is more personal attachment than people seem to realize.
    Fe isn't just about knowing what makes everybody feel good and sticking to it. It about reacting to the mood and environment around you.. Fe is sensitive to the moods of others and changes in the environment. Most attempts at bringing harmony to a situation are actually selfish in motivation.

Similar Threads

  1. When Fe meets Fi......
    By RedAmazoneFriendZone in forum Myers-Briggs and Jungian Cognitive Functions
    Replies: 45
    Last Post: 05-15-2016, 08:09 AM
  2. Fe vs. Fi, Disloyalty, Allegiance, Or the Lack Thereof…
    By Esoteric Wench in forum Myers-Briggs and Jungian Cognitive Functions
    Replies: 59
    Last Post: 01-13-2011, 07:55 PM
  3. [NT] Fe and Fi, the NT version
    By BlahBlahNounBlah in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 73
    Last Post: 04-20-2010, 09:55 AM
  4. Let's end the Fe/Ti - Fi/Te wars once and for all...
    By onemoretime in forum Myers-Briggs and Jungian Cognitive Functions
    Replies: 35
    Last Post: 03-16-2010, 12:00 PM
  5. Why does Ti always go with Fe and Fi with Te?
    By sofmarhof in forum Myers-Briggs and Jungian Cognitive Functions
    Replies: 73
    Last Post: 02-23-2010, 03:57 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO