I haven't read all of the above posts but the topic sentence caught me eye...
Being alone is very normal for me by now, I don't mind anymore since I will be less hurt than if I try to talk to my family, who just won't understand me........It might be a curse but also a blessing, as we are dependent on no one, and can survive things that would destroy other people. It does feel sad and painful being alone, but I guess that is what makes us what we are........
tonygoz, though I am just like you, my advice would be to accept it and just look for things to occupy you, (reading, watching something, even studying or writing bits of your thoughts) there are many things you can do alone, its ok if no one is there in the real world, there are many in the virtual one
There was an interesting article about loneliness - how it's an evolutionary adaptation that pushes us to seek out more people. Sometimes that means particular types of people / relationships. The way you can be lonely at a party or in a crowd. Maybe for NFs and INFJs, there's something to the idea that you need many deep relationships, ones with "deep sharing", and those aren't quite as obvious to get. Finding a party to go to is a little easier. But I am so happy you're in a much better place. That's always really wonderful to hear. And this is my 400th post!
As Mysterious said, we can survive things that destroy others...or sometimes I think, they destroy us, but we survive anyway... I think of this as having inner resources. I am grateful for those. Well, I guess they are inner/outer in some cases. For me they include: my faith; the knowledge that I have family and a few friends who are like rocks in my life; appreciation of art and beauty; etc.
I've had some extremely lonely times in my life and sometimes they've been when I've been surrounded by people, living with others (which I don't at the moment and not for a few years now), etc. Once it was because I was going through what in retrospect I am certain was a low-grade clinical depression (ie. I wasn't non-functional, but I cried constantly, couldn't sustain a positive mood, felt completely abandoned etc...for about a year and then I was in recovery for about a year, I think.) At other times it's been because there were too many toxic people around and in some cases I'd overinvested.
I am in a bit of a low right now, since early this year, which is disheartening compared to the latter half of last year, when I felt great. But I don't struggle with loneliness nearly as much as I used to. Part of it might just be the wisdom of age. I know better than when I am going through certain things, including loneliness, they will feel crap at the time, but I will pull through and move on.
I'm happy for those who are feeling better at the moment, and for those who aren't, life does go through cycles, and things get better
I'm mostly detached from people in general and somewhat of a lone wolf. It might be related to being a 1w9 so/sx.
The times I do feel alone is after developing a sense of closeness with someone and life splits us apart. Otherwise, I don't seek people to fill some type of void in me. I function best when I'm independent of people.