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  1. #31
    Senior Member You's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Satine View Post
    No but you aint their emotional babysitter either. It's one thing to be considerate of other people's feelings, it's quite another to bend over backwards becoz they're unable to cope. At that point you're not doing them any favors (much like a child you give everything it wants, as it will never learn to acquire what it needs itself).
    I think the lady doth protest too much....

    Really, just be direct and honest. My favorite line is "I don't think of you that way," and anything akin. It makes things clear as day, so if there is any confusion after that point the responsibility won't be your own.

    Take responsibility for your actions, people.
    Oh, its
    You
    ....

  2. #32
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    Quote Originally Posted by Arclight View Post
    Sure I had a job as a Supermarket check out supervisor.. Most of my staff were young ladies. Add My Canadian accent ( I was living in the UK) My helpful nature My managing style of trying to not come across as better than my subordinates, My apparent good looks, my though provoking intelligence and expressive artistic way of speaking and I ran into all sorts of problems.
    See after a while a bunch of my staff developed a crushes on me. This was also a problem due to my store being located in a very ethnic part of town where cultural differences forbade most of these ladies to like white people.
    I got accused of something in all of this.. although no one ever said what it was exactly.. but apparently it was my fault my staff had crushes on me and I was ostracized and punished for nothing. Or for just being myself.. Which is who I sold in the job interview.
    I actually got told at one point I spend too much time fraternizing with the "riff raff" and that I should come sit with the managers and talk about gardening rather than smoke a cigarette on my 20 minute long break per 8 hour shift.
    It felt pretty shit to be in trouble and under some kind of suspicion just because I was me and some girls found me attractive.
    I eventually changed stores and then quit.
    You should hang with some INTP chicks. We'd help you get over yourself real quick.

    I thought you were INFP anyway?
    Quote Originally Posted by Deja Vu View Post
    I think the lady doth protest too much....

    Really, just be direct and honest. My favorite line is "I don't think of you that way," and anything akin. It makes things clear as day, so if there is any confusion after that point the responsibility won't be your own.

    Take responsibility for your actions, people.
    Yes.
    People that are infatuated are pretty resistant though, even to direct communication.
    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    Gosh, the world looks so small from up here on my high horse of menstruation.

  3. #33
    Senior Member Sparrow's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Deja Vu View Post
    I think the lady doth protest too much....

    Really, just be direct and honest. My favorite line is "I don't think of you that way," and anything akin. It makes things clear as day, so if there is any confusion after that point the responsibility won't be your own.

    Take responsibility for your actions, people.
    But we arent all conceited and we dont think everyone thinks of us as hot shit. So now we have to change our personalities and be paranoid because people might take our kindness the wrong way?? Silly. If I get the vibe that someone likes me and I dont like them back like that, I drop subtle hints that Im not interested. If I like some one like that I will let it be known!
    Fe | Ni | Se | Ti ... 3w4 ... Lawful Neutral ... Johari -Nohari

  4. #34
    I drink your milkshake. Thessaly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Arclight View Post
    Sure I had a job as a Supermarket check out supervisor.. Most of my staff were young ladies. Add My Canadian accent ( I was living in the UK) My helpful nature My managing style of trying to not come across as better than my subordinates, My apparent good looks, my though provoking intelligence and expressive artistic way of speaking and I ran into all sorts of problems.
    See after a while a bunch of my staff developed a crushes on me. This was also a problem due to my store being located in a very ethnic part of town where cultural differences forbade most of these ladies to like white people.
    I got accused of something in all of this.. although no one ever said what it was exactly.. but apparently it was my fault my staff had crushes on me and I was ostracized and punished for nothing. Or for just being myself.. Which is who I sold in the job interview.
    I actually got told at one point I spend too much time fraternizing with the "riff raff" and that I should come sit with the managers and talk about gardening rather than smoke a cigarette on my 20 minute long break per 8 hour shift.
    It felt pretty shit to be in trouble and under some kind of suspicion just because I was me and some girls found me attractive.
    I eventually changed stores and then quit.
    Well young women are already vulnerable to be attracted to a man in a position of power over them. You do need to take extra care when working with impressionable young women, because you spend a lot of time with them and that's when feelings begin to develop (young girls will like anything that shows them attention and kindness).

    I'm sure you had the best of intentions and were very professional. I can see it being a problem for an ENFJ at work if they don't tone down the charm. Sorry.
    With dreamers, pure and simple, the imagination remains a vaguely sketched inner affair. It is not embodied in any aesthetic or practical invention. Reverie is the equivalent of weak desires. Dreamers are the aboulics of the creative imagination.

  5. #35
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    Quote Originally Posted by Morgan Le Fay View Post
    You should hang with some INTP chicks. We'd help you get over yourself real quick.

    I thought you were INFP anyway?
    See??? now I am just telling the story the way it happened.. and I need to get over myself??

    and OMG!!! MiLF.. Yes please!!! INTP women seem to be quite yummy.. please abuse me..

    INFP?? You tell me?

  6. #36
    I drink your milkshake. Thessaly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sparrow View Post
    ^ just dont jump the gun then wait till you find out if the ENFJ chick really likes you in that way or not. you gotta remember, its ENFJs nature to be a people person.
    These ENFJ dudes liked me a lot for sure at some point. We had some intimate moments together. That's why I get confused later on because of the history.

    Although there was a time where someone charming like Arclight stole my heart a little and then I realized they were just awesome like that all the time with everyone. I would never start a thread to complain about that though.
    With dreamers, pure and simple, the imagination remains a vaguely sketched inner affair. It is not embodied in any aesthetic or practical invention. Reverie is the equivalent of weak desires. Dreamers are the aboulics of the creative imagination.

  7. #37
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thessaly View Post
    Well young women are already vulnerable to be attracted to a man in a position of power over them. You do need to take extra care when working with impressionable young women, because you spend a lot of time with them and that's when feelings begin to develop (young girls will like anything that shows them attention and kindness).

    I'm sure you had the best of intentions and were very professional. I can see it being a problem for an ENFJ at work if they don't tone down the charm. Sorry.
    OK here is a point you seem to be missing.. and as an INFP you ought to understand this on some level.
    I don't think I am charming, people are just charmed by me sometimes.. how do I control that??
    See to ask me to change, is to ask me to be inauthentic, and that I believe, is where you might finally understand.. I hope.

  8. #38
    Senior Member Sparrow's Avatar
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    ENFJs are known as the Teachers and Mentors, we can see the good in people and are motivational . Its just natural for us. My ex boyfriend got mad at me for talking to people, accused me of flirting sometimes because everyone was smiling or vibing on what I was saying, it sucks to be accused of flirting or digging on someone in a romantic way!!! Its really not flirting, Im just genuinely interested in all people...people from all different walks of life, even some homeless people lol . I dont want to change who I am.
    Fe | Ni | Se | Ti ... 3w4 ... Lawful Neutral ... Johari -Nohari

  9. #39
    I drink your milkshake. Thessaly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Arclight View Post
    OK here is a point you seem to be missing.. and as an INFP you ought to understand this on some level.
    I don't think I am charming, people are just charmed by me sometimes.. how do I control that??
    See to ask me to change, is to ask me to be inauthentic, and that I believe, is where you might finally understand.. I hope.
    You can't claim modesty after this:

    My apparent good looks, my though provoking intelligence and expressive artistic way of speaking and I ran into all sorts of problems.
    I'm sorry, but you can't.


    How is it inauthentic to act disinterested in someone you're not interested in. Are you interested in everyone you meet? Maybe higher your standards of interesting human behavior.

    I easily overlook most people I meet. You should be more misanthropic like me.
    With dreamers, pure and simple, the imagination remains a vaguely sketched inner affair. It is not embodied in any aesthetic or practical invention. Reverie is the equivalent of weak desires. Dreamers are the aboulics of the creative imagination.

  10. #40
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    I know I said I would give an example of my annoyance, but I don't feel like it at the moment. It irritates me that I am spending time and energy on someone's crack head behavior. Arclight it is nothing similar to what you have described. My fish is dying so I'm going to go watch that, but later I'll elaborate on my frustration.
    With dreamers, pure and simple, the imagination remains a vaguely sketched inner affair. It is not embodied in any aesthetic or practical invention. Reverie is the equivalent of weak desires. Dreamers are the aboulics of the creative imagination.

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