User Tag List

First 61415161718 Last

Results 151 to 160 of 197

  1. #151
    I drink your milkshake. Thessaly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    MBTI
    xNFP
    Enneagram
    3w4
    Posts
    1,395

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post

    I wonder how these ENFJ men can be surrounded by a ton of pretty, smart, funny, cool, single women and not find ONE good enough. Is it that some are "too good" & you're scared to go for what you really want? Or are your standards just that ridiculously high? When I hear them complain about being single, I want to scream, "open your eyes!!!".
    Maybe those great girls don't understand and connect with them on the level they want? Perhaps they need someone who can figure them out and still like them for who they are. It's probably just the whole N minority/isolated feeling thing exasperated by the extraordinary amount of people they interact with.

    I have often wondered if ENFJs feel disconnected despite the fact that they are such bubbly warm people creatures.
    With dreamers, pure and simple, the imagination remains a vaguely sketched inner affair. It is not embodied in any aesthetic or practical invention. Reverie is the equivalent of weak desires. Dreamers are the aboulics of the creative imagination.

  2. #152
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    4w5 sp/sx
    Socionics
    IEI Ni
    Posts
    7,661

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Thessaly View Post
    Maybe those great girls don't understand and connect with them on the level they want? Perhaps they need someone who can figure them out and still like them for who they are. It's probably just the whole N minority/isolated feeling thing exasperated by the extraordinary amount of people they interact with.

    I have often wondered if ENFJs feel disconnected despite the fact that they are such bubbly warm people creatures.
    I think this is it...but I also notice they don't want to open up to be able to be understood & to really connect to others. They always divert the attention back to the other person. That's why people like them, because they take a personal interest in others, but they almost don't allow others to do the same with them.

    One ENFJ male friend of mine (who I was/am not interested in romantically), did test the water with me as he had romantic interest, and I think it's because he had opened up to me so much & we do have a real connection. I suppose my lack of interest may have unfortunately reinforced some fears....but it was not the opening up that made me not have interest. It wouldn't have been there anyway.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  3. #153
    Banned
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    6w5
    Posts
    3,278

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Thessaly View Post
    Maybe those great girls don't understand and connect with them on the level they want? Perhaps they need someone who can figure them out and still like them for who they are. It's probably just the whole N minority/isolated feeling thing exasperated by the extraordinary amount of people they interact with.

    I have often wondered if ENFJs feel disconnected despite the fact that they are such bubbly warm people creatures.
    Exactly. The more people I know, the more I realize how lonely I really am.

    Maybe this is where we get our bad names from. Because how many times have I heard "you're not here" ??

    At some point we try anyway.. We are human and want to express affection and receive it like anyone else. So on some level we are settling and obviously the partner is going to catch this before we do.. Because on some level I think the ENFJ is resigned to never finding the "one".. so they go about adapting and overcoming and choosing one of those awesome girls that OA talked about. SO then what happens?

    This thread is turning into the biggest epiphany I have ever had about myself, in regard to love in my life.

    No wonder I got so defensive at 1st.

  4. #154
    I drink your milkshake. Thessaly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    MBTI
    xNFP
    Enneagram
    3w4
    Posts
    1,395

    Default

    People have epiphanies on here. It's interesting...you can learn more from interacting on these boards than just reading about MBTI.

    OA you are right on about the diverting thing they do. How could they ever expect someone to understand them with the walls they surround themselves with? You have to be an Ne wizard to even begin peeling back the layers without their consent.

    To be honest I've never had an ideal "the one" in my head so I cannot empathize with ENFJs there, but I do tend to hold people in general to ridiculous standards. I think dating NTs that have humbled my expectations of humanity has helped a lot with me accepting people for who they are. I can see how an INTP would be great for an ENFJ.
    With dreamers, pure and simple, the imagination remains a vaguely sketched inner affair. It is not embodied in any aesthetic or practical invention. Reverie is the equivalent of weak desires. Dreamers are the aboulics of the creative imagination.

  5. #155
    Banned
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    6w5
    Posts
    3,278

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Thessaly View Post
    People have epiphanies on here. It's interesting...you can learn more from interacting on these boards than just reading about MBTI.

    OA you are right on about the diverting thing they do. How could they ever expect someone to understand them with the walls they surround themselves with? You have to be an Ne wizard to even begin peeling back the layers without their consent.

    To be honest I've never had an ideal "the one" in my head so I cannot empathize with ENFJs there, but I do tend to hold people in general to ridiculous standards. I think dating NTs that have humbled my expectations of humanity has helped a lot with me accepting people for who they are. I can see how an INTP would be great for an ENFJ.
    I am not sure I have an ideal of what the "one" is either.. It only becomes apparent that no one is the "one".. or has been.. or wont accept it themselves.

    I also think being love starved is not the same as being needy. I don't just need any attention. I want love, and love is deeper understanding.

    INTP eh? Maybe you have a point. maybe NF/SF women are just too romantically idealistic like me? I do find myself at least very intrigued by a few INTP ladies. A few INTJs as well.

  6. #156
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    4w5 sp/sx
    Socionics
    IEI Ni
    Posts
    7,661

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Arclight View Post
    I am not sure I have an ideal of what the "one" is either.. It only becomes apparent that no one is the "one".. or has been.. or wont accept it themselves.

    I also think being love starved is not the same as being needy. I don't just need any attention. I want love, and love is deeper understanding.
    "Won't accept it themselves" - is this referring to an unrequited love/interest?
    I wonder sometimes if these ENFJs I know, and I'm thinking of 2 in particular, are just stuck on some girl who rejected them in the past. There is no one, because they found the one, but that woman is not interested in them & they can't get past it. I have suspicions, which amount to intuitions, no concrete evidence.

    Also, how do you feel about the diverting concept? Is this a real thing? Do you do it? Do you do it without realizing it sometimes (of course, you'd have to realize it at some point to admit it)? Or is it just something people pin on ENFJs unfairly? Basically, how can someone acquire a deeper understanding if you don't allow them to? Are you blocking them because you've already ruled them out?
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  7. #157
    I drink your milkshake. Thessaly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    MBTI
    xNFP
    Enneagram
    3w4
    Posts
    1,395

    Default

    NTs can be very soothing. I think I will end up with one. Check out this post for further NT-NF goodness.
    With dreamers, pure and simple, the imagination remains a vaguely sketched inner affair. It is not embodied in any aesthetic or practical invention. Reverie is the equivalent of weak desires. Dreamers are the aboulics of the creative imagination.

  8. #158
    Banned
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    6w5
    Posts
    3,278

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post
    "Won't accept it themselves" - is this referring to an unrequited love/interest?
    I wonder sometimes if these ENFJs I know, and I'm thinking of 2 in particular, are just stuck on some girl who rejected them in the past. There is no one, because they found the one, but that woman is not interested in them & they can't get past it. I have suspicions, which amount to intuitions, no concrete evidence.

    Also, how do you feel about the diverting concept? Is this a real thing? Do you do it? Do you do it without realizing it sometimes (of course, you'd have to realize it at some point to admit it)? Or is it just something people pin on ENFJs unfairly? Basically, how can someone acquire a deeper understanding if you don't allow them to? Are you blocking them because you've already ruled them out?
    1st question.. Perhaps. Except that would create a paradox.. because how could she be the one if she rejected me??

    Yes we are masters at diversion or at least I am.. INFJs are generally better, So maybe you want to ask them about that

    In my case it comes from a life time of watching people make a face of fear or disgust every time I open up for "real". I see it on here even.. people don't know how to take me sometimes. I freak some people right out. So I divert.. I accommodate, I do it the name of protecting us both.

    I am sincere in my insincerity.

  9. #159
    Banned
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    6w5
    Posts
    3,278

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Thessaly View Post
    NTs can be very soothing. I think I will end up with one. Check out this post for further NT-NF goodness.
    Hmm that didn't sound so soothing to me LOL.. But its very interesting that you use the word soothing..

    Because someone who soothes me wins my heart..

  10. #160
    I drink your milkshake. Thessaly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    MBTI
    xNFP
    Enneagram
    3w4
    Posts
    1,395

    Default

    I can sort of see that. People only freak though because you probably maintain such an immaculate facade. I remember my ENFJ once confessing to me that he didn't care about taking part in my environmental rituals and I was like WHAAAAAAAAAAAAATTT??? If anyone else had said the same thing I would have shrugged.

    What exactly is it that has freaked people out about you if you don't mind me asking?
    With dreamers, pure and simple, the imagination remains a vaguely sketched inner affair. It is not embodied in any aesthetic or practical invention. Reverie is the equivalent of weak desires. Dreamers are the aboulics of the creative imagination.

Similar Threads

  1. [ISFJ] When a ISFJ crushes on a close friend? (Trying to figure you ISFJs out!)
    By wolvesss in forum The SJ Guardhouse (ESFJ, ISFJ, ESTJ, ISTJ)
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: 03-06-2016, 04:53 AM
  2. [ENFJ] ENFJs: Which type do you think is your ideal romantic match?
    By Zarathustra in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 19
    Last Post: 12-29-2012, 10:17 PM
  3. [ENFJ] ENFJs - What characteristics do you respect/disrespect in others?
    By Lily flower in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 12
    Last Post: 02-06-2011, 08:43 PM
  4. [ENFJ] ENFJs that have been hurt
    By Koocoomoo in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 17
    Last Post: 03-09-2010, 12:02 AM
  5. Hello all you out there
    By mkobrien76 in forum Welcomes and Introductions
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: 04-26-2007, 11:02 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO