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  1. #111
    Senior Member Sparrow's Avatar
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    Fe | Ni | Se | Ti ... 3w4 ... Lawful Neutral ... Johari -Nohari

  2. #112
    Senior Member ExAstrisSpes's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Arclight View Post
    Ummm well everyone of my partners felt lucky at some point .. But things go to hell..
    Things always went to hell for me, even though I've been told by quite a few that I'm the best girl they'd been with. I somehow get dumped and then find out later that the other person regretted doing so. At that point, it's not my problem. Dude had his shot, and blew it.

    Quote Originally Posted by Arclight View Post
    This thread is insane by my standards.
    I am sorry for that.
    But it's not your fault the thread is insane!!!!!

  3. #113
    Senior Member Lily flower's Avatar
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    Back to your original comment about ENFJ's, I have definitely experienced this behavior. It is enough to drive you absolutely crazy.

    Thank you so much for this thread, because it explained a lot about someone I know.

  4. #114
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    ENFJs make me tired all over!
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
    Neutral Good
    EII-Fi subtype, Ethical/Empath, Delta/Beta
    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
    Inquistive/Limbic
    AIS Holland code
    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  5. #115
    Seriously Delirious Udog's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Domino View Post
    ENFJs make me tired all over!
    This post is clearly an Fe attempt to distract people from the fact that ENFJs make you tired all over.

  6. #116
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    Quote Originally Posted by ExAstrisSpes View Post
    Things always went to hell for me, even though I've been told by quite a few that I'm the best girl they'd been with. I somehow get dumped and then find out later that the other person regretted doing so. At that point, it's not my problem. Dude had his shot, and blew it.



    But it's not your fault the thread is insane!!!!!
    HA!!! That's hilarious.. I get told similar stuff. When I first joined facebook and I was speaking to High School people, 3 of my ex girlfriends told me, still 25 years later, I am the standard by which they measure their boyfriends.
    Pure crazy..

    I heard similar themes through out my life.
    But I think therein lies the problem. I am often held to higher standards. I think more than few of my partners in life took it quite personally when they found out I was just human after all.

    Also makes me wonder why they weren't more careful when they had me.

  7. #117
    Seriously Delirious Udog's Avatar
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    Hindsight creates idealized visions of reality. Not that I'm discounting the fact that the exes were idiots, of course.

  8. #118
    I drink your milkshake. Thessaly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Arclight View Post
    HA!!! That's hilarious.. I get told similar stuff. When I first joined facebook and I was speaking to High School people, 3 of my ex girlfriends told me, still 25 years later, I am the standard by which they measure their boyfriends.
    Pure crazy..

    I heard similar themes through out my life.
    But I think therein lies the problem. I am often held to higher standards. I think more than few of my partners in life took it quite personally when they found out I was just human after all.

    Also makes me wonder why they weren't more careful when they had me.
    Teenagers generally don't approach relationships with tender loving care.
    With dreamers, pure and simple, the imagination remains a vaguely sketched inner affair. It is not embodied in any aesthetic or practical invention. Reverie is the equivalent of weak desires. Dreamers are the aboulics of the creative imagination.

  9. #119
    I drink your milkshake. Thessaly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Domino View Post
    ENFJs make me tired all over!
    I don't think I'd complain as much if ENFJs made me tired all over. They just give me trips to la la land, headaches, and rage.*



    *in that order.
    With dreamers, pure and simple, the imagination remains a vaguely sketched inner affair. It is not embodied in any aesthetic or practical invention. Reverie is the equivalent of weak desires. Dreamers are the aboulics of the creative imagination.

  10. #120
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Udog View Post
    Why do you decide to dismiss legitimate advice as mere “greeting card” clichés?

    I'll try to elaborate: When you take responsibility for your emotions, you are no longer the victim that is being helplessly carried away by the manipulative ENFJ. You empower yourself. Perhaps the ENFJ is doing something to trigger your attraction, and then taking it back when you respond. Some definitely do this, and that is not acceptable. But we'll say that he's an insecure ENFJ desperate for validation. Normally that would equate to loser, but because of his charms, general social graces with the opposite gender, and push-pulling, he gets away with it.

    This thread reads like the INFPs are completely dependent on the ENFJ deciding to stop needing that validation and ceasing his behavior. It's victim-hood. Good luck with that.

    When you take responsibility for your emotions, you realize that you have the ability to DO something about it. On one end, you can stop all communication with the ENFJ. Less drastically, you tell the ENFJ exactly what it is they are doing to trigger your misconceptions, and clearly tell them that if they wish to remain your friend, they must stop. And if they don’t stop, then you now know their validation seeking is more important to them than your friendship.
    I don't think it's legitimate advice as a one-liner. It's an oversimplified cliche that easily gives the wrong idea - that idea being that people bear no responsibility for their behavior & how it affects others. What you've typed here is not oversimplified....but if people don't make the effort to explain the point, it gets lost, and then you have that erroneous idea being spread. I see the propaganda of "being responsible for your own emotions" used to invalidate a person's feelings when they have been wronged too many times.

    I disagree with the way the thread reads - it's clearly venting & looking for some outside perspective. To call someone out & hold them accountable for their actions is not "victim-hood" anyway. It's quite the opposite - it's the first step to "empowerment".
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

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